How You Change When Happiness Comes From Within
Several definitions of "happiness" circulate in society, some from ancient philosophers and others from modern thinkers. Although what each person determines as "happiness" can be subjective, some believe happiness is a state of being. For some, the happiness you find within yourself may offer the most significant meaning and bring about the most change. To understand this theory, looking at how you might change when you find happiness in yourself can be helpful.
What does it mean to find happiness within?
Some people may worry that focusing within means they're self-centered. However, when happiness comes from within, it may be easier to understand the difference between being selfish and practicing self-love. Experiencing happiness from within can help you value taking care of your body and mind. You may also be able to recognize how the more you love yourself and follow your truth, the happier you may feel.
Whether you enjoy taking a stroll in nature, spending a few minutes reading your favorite book, or occasional pampering at the spa, caring for yourself is often a key to finding happiness within. Self-care can be crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. In 2015, millennials reported making more self-care improvements than any previous generation. You may discover that spending quality time with yourself, showing compassion, and being open to growth are a few ways to improve your happiness.
What changes when you find happiness from within?
When your happiness comes from within, you may notice a few changes, including but not limited to the following.
Improved self-confidence
A boost in confidence can benefit inner happiness because you may have more certainty over what you control. You may gain a more realistic understanding of your place in the world and begin to realize your perspective role in the occurrence of events. You may understand that you can strive for success and that success exists. If you fail, you may know that it's not a reflection of what you are capable of but a matter outside of your control at that moment.
Recognition of self-worth
With more confidence may come a higher recognition of your self-worth. Self-worth can mean you love yourself, show up for yourself, and identify your values. You may see the relationship between happiness and how you view yourself. Like food, water, shelter, and clothing, self-worth can be essential to living a healthy life.
When you experience inner happiness, you may notice that your self-worth no longer depends on what others say, think, or feel about you. Their opinions fall to the wayside as you build yourself up from the inside out. For instance, if your boss criticizes you at work, you no longer resort to thinking that you're incapable but may consider that they were having a bad day or their own challenges to cope with.
Control over challenges
Inner happiness may grant you more control over the challenges you face and how you choose to cope with them. For example, if you want to improve your health, you may do so because you want to, not because someone else asked you to. In addition, if you want to reach the next stage of your career, you may take the next steps because you're ready and confident, not because you're worried about what others will think if you don't.
Various challenges in your life may be out of your control. However, when you create your happiness, the most urgent problems are those you believe in solving. Inner happiness may help you see the difference between the challenges that can improve you and those that won't, giving you a sense of control over what deserves your time and attention.
A growth mindset
Another positive side-effect of inner happiness may include noticing the changes you want to make in the world and your personal life. You may develop a greater desire to act and make changes. You may also notice what no longer serves you and take steps to remove it from your life. You can choose to avoid what doesn't seem in alignment with who you are and instead work toward ambition for what brings you happiness and peace.
Independence
When your happiness comes from within, you may depend less on outside influences to find happiness. There is no obligation to make many friends, find the perfect partner, or even have the perfect job. No matter how much money you acquire and spend, you might realize that finding true inner happiness in an object seems impossible. Knowing that you don't need to depend on anyone or anything else to make you happy can help you experience true freedom.
Positivity
Happiness may allow you to increase your positivity because happiness is often linked to a more optimistic mindset. You may develop this perspective when you understand what you are capable of, your importance in the world, and how much you are grateful for in your life. When your happiness comes from within, you may see unexpected blessings and build a sense of gratitude for them. You might learn to appreciate the role of every person and living being around you, even if they don't necessarily bring you joy.
Some people who find happiness within may train their minds to recognize the positive, kind, and beautiful parts of the world, whether that means noticing more people holding the door open for one another or taking a few extra moments to read positive stories in the news. You might speak more kindly, become more charitable to others, and go out of your way to express your happiness with them. An optimistic outlook has also been linked to physical and mental health benefits.
Self-acceptance
When you love yourself and find happiness within, you may also accept yourself for who you are. You can learn to enjoy your strengths, admit your weaknesses, appreciate your flaws, and embrace your habits. Self-acceptance may eliminate the urgency to change yourself for others. Being happy can mean being able to change when you know it's good for you instead of changing because you think you're flawed. Self-acceptance is often the foundation of self-love, where your inner happiness can thrive.
Ways to find inner happiness
Finding inner happiness may be easier said than done. Below are a few steps to beginning the process.
Practice radical acceptance
Letting go of the past or worries about the future can be one of the first steps to improving your inner happiness. One way to accept situations you cannot change or should not change is by working through a skill called radical acceptance from the dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) workbook. It involves the following steps:
Observe how you might be questioning or fighting your reality.
Remind yourself that your reality cannot be changed in this situation.
Try to note any causes for the reality.
Practice acceptance with your mind, body, and spirit. Use positive self-talk to tell yourself you are willing to accept this situation, even if it is difficult.
List all the behaviors you'd partake in if you already accepted this situation. Act this way until you find it aligns with your reality.
Cope ahead by thinking of ways to accept the situation if it worsens.
Attend to your body sensations using mindfulness or meditation.
Allow disappointment, sadness, grief, or anger to arise if they do. Note them and do not act on them. Give them the space to exist.
Acknowledge that life can be worth living, even when there is pain.
Create a pros and cons list if you are resisting acceptance further.
Focus on what makes you stand out
If you focus on your flaws, you may miss the positive features that make you who you are. Focusing on these features can help you to reignite your happiness and recognize the positive over the negative. Consider whether you have the following positive traits or come up with a list of your own:
Kindness
Gentleness
Creativity
Intelligence
Uniqueness
Empathy
Compassion
Openness
Adventurousness
Balance
Humor
Friendliness
Humility
Humbleness
Confidence
Explore new hobbies
If you're in a stump, it might help you to get out and explore new hobbies. To get to know yourself, you can use these hobbies to discover a passion you may not have known you had for a new activity that stimulates your mind and makes you happy from within. In addition, you may meet new positive friends to spend time with.
Talk to a counselor to explore how happiness comes from within
Therapy can be a valuable tool if you struggle to find inner happiness. However, in-person treatment may not be available for everyone. In these cases, it may be helpful to speak to a licensed therapist online through a platform like BetterHelp.
Online counseling allows clients to work with professionals from home or anywhere with an internet connection. In addition, you can set your goals for therapy before getting matched with a therapist to find someone who specializes in your symptoms or challenges and can support you in moving forward healthily.
A growing body of research suggests that online therapy is a helpful way to treat challenging emotions, such as unhappiness, that may be related to depression or other mental health conditions. For example, in a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, the effectiveness of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in treating individuals with depression was evaluated. After treatment, participants reported that their overall condition, along with their sleep quality, was significantly improved. Researchers concluded that online CBT could be highly effective in treating symptoms of depression, with results similar to in-person therapeutic studies.
Takeaway
What does it mean when happiness comes from within?
When happiness comes from within, it generally means that someone is able to find pleasure and meaning through their own thoughts and actions, rather than from an outside source. By detaching the idea of happiness from outside events and material things, it may be possible to feel content even when challenges arise. This may help to improve resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.
Is it true that happiness comes from within?
Because opinions about the source of happiness can vary, whether or not happiness starts from within can be dependent on the person. That said, certain aspects of happiness may be internal and not connected to outside factors. Some of these examples include:
- Gratitude
- Curiosity
- Awareness of the present moment
- Belief in oneself and one’s abilities
- The ability to adapt to various events
- Goodwill toward other people
However, it may be worth remembering that for some people, feelings of happiness may also involve other factors, like loving relationships, social interaction, and achieving personal goals.
How do you make happiness come from within?
It may be possible to generate an inner feeling of happiness even when life brings challenges. Some tips that may help you to do this include:
- Use mindfulness to become aware of the present moment.
- Seek to accept the things that are out of your control.
- Practice self-care, such as exercising, getting rest, and engaging in meaningful hobbies.
- Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
- Practice gratitude for the positive things in your life.
Although some people may be able to generate their own happiness, getting help can also be important. If you often feel miserable, helpless, or low on energy, these may be signs of an underlying mental illness. If you are in need of outside support, speaking to a mental health professional can be a useful first step toward reconnecting with your concept of happiness.
What is the true source of happiness?
Because definitions can vary, there may not be a single source of true happiness. That said, several factors may lead to greater overall happiness, well-being, and life satisfaction, such as:
- Freedom to spend your time on meaningful activities
- Meaningful relationships
- A sense of belonging or community
- The ability to help others
- A sense of purpose in your work
- The ability to pursue your goals
- Learning and growth opportunities
If you find yourself unsure how to create happiness, you might consider how you can incorporate more of these things into your life. For example, if you notice that you lack a sense of community or purpose, you might try volunteering for a good cause, which may help you form relationships while helping others. If you notice that your job is unfulfilling, you might try taking up a hobby that feels more meaningful to you. While these steps may not create immediate happiness, they may help create the conditions for it to develop.
What is the first rule of happiness?
While individual criteria for happiness can vary, one so-called “rule” of happiness is referred to as the “happiness paradox.” It is essentially the idea that the more you focus on happiness as a goal, the less happy you may feel. The reason for this is that, by making happiness the objective, you may be more likely to focus on what you lack, rather than what you already have. This can create feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction.
Instead, it may be helpful to practice gratitude and mindfulness while focusing on other goals, like helping others or strengthening your relationships. This can allow you to cultivate happiness without fixating too much on whether or not you’re happy in a given moment.
Why is happiness so hard to come by?
It can be natural for happiness to feel elusive for a variety of social, cultural, and psychological reasons. Examples of these may include:
- Comparisons to others, which can be made worse by social media
- Cultural expectations about wealth, social status, and success that can often feel unattainable
- Uncertainty about one’s own definition of happiness
- External stressors, such as work events, unexpected illnesses, loss, or conflict
- A tendency to focus more on negatives than positives
These factors may all make happiness seem harder to achieve. In addition, certain mental illnesses, such as depression, bipolar disorder, or substance use disorders, can also make it harder to experience feelings of happiness.
Does happiness come from purpose?
Although purpose may not be the only key to happiness, research suggests that having a sense of purpose may promote feelings of happiness. For example, in one 2023 study, 204 teens were asked to track their sense of well-being while participating in meaningful extracurricular activities. Researchers found that on the days when the teens experienced a greater sense of purpose, their well-being scores also improved. That said, other factors can also contribute to happiness, such as health, community, and meaningful relationships.
Does happiness come from the heart or brain?
It may be worth remembering that all emotions, including happiness, involve the brain because the brain is what interprets reality to determine if something is “positive” or “negative.”
However, in discussions of the heart and the brain, the heart is often used to represent involuntary emotions, while the brain is often used to represent conscious thoughts and logic. In this context, it can be helpful to think of the mind as something that can play a role in happiness. For example, by consciously observing the emotions you feel, you may be able to choose how you respond to them, allowing you to make choices aimed at promoting greater happiness. Similarly, by taking the time to think about what you’re grateful for, you may also be able to create feelings of greater well-being.
- Previous Article
- Next Article