“I Love Being Single”: Cultivating Happiness And Mental Health On Your Own

We’re often told that romantic relationships are vital to our ability to find fulfillment and happiness. This view can cause many people to develop negative associations with being single, potentially leading to various mental health-related concerns. However, the single life can also be rewarding and enjoyable, allowing romantically unattached individuals to explore their interests, gain independence, and find compassion and love through connections with friends and self. Below, we’re discussing societal views on relationships, the potential benefits of being single, and how you can embrace the single life. 

Exploring societal views on singlehood

Romantic relationships are highly valued in our society, often touted as a necessary component of a happy life. The proliferation of dating sites and apps that help match up single people is one piece of evidence that supports this. (According to a survey by Pew Research Center, approximately 30% of adults in the US have participated in online dating.) 

Society’s views on singlehood are shaped by a variety of factors, including the media, religion, cultural differences, and politics. On the whole, relationships are commonly associated with success and status. This has created a stigma around single life, causing many to feel negatively about themselves if they aren’t in a relationship.  

Why some people dislike being single

As discussed above, many people are averse to living the single life. The following are common reasons some people prefer relationships to singlehood. 

Family and societal pressure

Often, people who are romantically unattached are pressured by loved ones, social media, and cultural influences to couple up. These are often well-meaning attempts to help individuals avoid loneliness or enjoy the benefits of romantic relationships. However, this societal pressure can make people feel negatively about their lives or their choices. 

The comfort and happiness of relationships

There are also legitimate reasons that so many people prioritize romantic relationships. A bond with a romantic partner may be accompanied by emotional support, intimacy, and comfort. Research shows that healthy romantic relationships are often associated with increased happiness. Partners can support each other’s goals and provide one another with encouragement, care, and compassion when it’s most needed. 

This doesn’t mean, however, that having a relationship is necessary for contentment. There are many happy single people who do not feel the need to be romantically linked.   

Mental health concerns

Some people—especially those who struggle to build non-romantic connections—may experience feelings of isolation when not in a romantic relationship. This can lead to mental health-related challenges like sadness and loneliness. Social support is considered a protective factor against psychiatric disorders—and for some, romantic relationships are a primary source of that support. 

Why some people embrace the single life

Self-exploration

Individuals in real-life relationships often must sacrifice and compromise to ensure a harmonious and balanced partnership. This can be a healthy dynamic, but one that may also lead to fewer opportunities for self-discovery and self-actualization. People who are single, however, usually do not have to make as many accommodations of this type. 

A single person can devote more time to exploring their passions and developing their self-identity. For example, it can be easier for unattached individuals to travel for an extended period than for married people to do so. In the same way, single people may have more chances to pursue new career opportunities. 

Additionally, many individuals who are in relationships can feel pressure to live life in ways that may not completely align with their values. The self-exploration associated with single life can allow people to examine their beliefs and worldviews so that they may live as authentically as possible. 

Self-reliance

The ability to care and provide for oneself in many ways can be empowering and even life-changing. Being single provides people with the opportunity to practice self-reliance, which may lead to increased confidence and self-esteem. Self-efficacy can also help individuals build resilience, improving their ability to manage stress and overcome obstacles. While everyone needs social support of some kind, knowing that you can thrive without a romantic partner may benefit you in your professional, personal, and social life. 

Deep connections in non-romantic relationships

If you’re like many people, you may have been told your entire life that romantic relationships are the key to happiness. However, relationships with friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors, mentors, and other individuals can be just as fulfilling. Being single can provide you with more time and energy to foster those connections and form new bonds. 

“I love being single”: how to find happiness in the single life

Finding contentment and satisfaction regardless of your relationship status may help you boost your self-image and feel empowered. Even if you don’t plan on being single forever, it can often be beneficial to embrace this time in your life. The following are tips for finding happiness in the single life. 

Explore your interests

Engaging with your passions can help you take advantage of your time as a single person. Are there interests you’ve always wanted to pursue? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, travel to a specific place, or write a book. 

Exploring your interests may also help you meet new people. For example, you can spend time with like-minded people in your community by volunteering with a local nonprofit or mutual aid group you support. You can also start your own meet-ups; for example, you might consider starting a run club or teaching a cooking class. 

Focus on personal growth

Self-improvement can help you feel more comfortable and confident on your own. Personal growth might involve pursuing new career opportunities, focusing on your physical health, or developing a new outlook on life. 

As you embrace the single life, you may want to re-evaluate your goals and overall direction. To do this, you could consider conducting a life audit, in which you assess your well-being, career, non-romantic relationships, and hobbies. If you identify areas in which you’d like to see changes or growth, consider what steps you can take to achieve this. For example, if you want to grow in your career, there may be educational opportunities or training programs you can participate in.  

Practice self-care

Showing yourself compassion can not only help you cultivate mental and physical wellness but also reinforce the idea that you’re worthy of love and care. Self-care can involve a variety of practices, including exercising regularly, meditating, getting plenty of sleep, attending yoga classes, or eating nutritious meals. It can also take the form of spending time in nature, doing things you enjoy, and learning to set boundaries.

Nurture your non-romantic relationships

As discussed above, being single can help you deepen bonds in your platonic and familial relationships, which may help provide you with social support. If you’d like to create a more robust support system, consider reaching out to friends and family members you’ve lost touch with. You can also try spending more time with coworkers or acquaintances you don’t know as well. As we’ll discuss in the next section, a mental health professional can also serve as an important member of your support network. 

Addressing loneliness and related concerns in therapy

While there are numerous ways for single people to embrace their lives, some individuals can experience loneliness, a lack of support, or other mental health-related challenges. For those who want to work through concerns associated with their single status, psychotherapy may help. A therapist can provide emotional support and help a client address any feelings of negativity surrounding singlehood. They may also identify and help address any symptoms of mental health conditions related to relationships or loneliness, such as depression, social anxiety, or an attachment disorder. 

How online therapy can help you embrace the single life

If you’re interested in exploring singlehood and related topics in therapy, consider working with an online mental health professional. Online therapy can be a convenient and cost-effective way to add a therapist to your social support network. 

The benefits of asking an online therapist, “How can I love being single?”

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist from a huge team of mental health professionals, which can increase the chances that you’ll connect with someone who can address your specific concerns regarding singlehood or relationships. You can then meet with your therapist remotely from the comfort of home—no commuting required. Plus, online therapy is often more affordable than in-person therapy without insurance.

The efficacy of mental health care through online therapy

Research suggests that online therapy can help participants alleviate mental health challenges that may be related to singlehood or their views of it. For example, according to one randomized controlled trial, researchers suggest that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can lead to significant reductions in loneliness and symptoms of social anxiety as well as increases in overall quality of life. CBT is a widely used form of psychotherapy focused on teaching the client how to reframe unhelpful thought patterns, such as negative beliefs on being single.