Forging Adult Friendships: How To Make Friends As You Age

In childhood, making friends can be as easy as lending a pencil to someone in class or playing catch with other kids in the neighborhood. But as we get older, it may become more difficult to make new friends or keep old ones. This difficulty may stem from a variety of sources, such as spending more time with romantic partners, having children, moving to a different area, dealing with work responsibilities, or managing common later-life situations like illness. Learning how to make friends as an adult can be challenging, but rewarding, and doing so may also help you to avoid the potential health risks associated with loneliness and isolation. 

Finding new friends can be challenging without help

Talk to a therapist about making friends here

Why is it important to have friends as an adult? 

While loneliness can affect people of any age, the CDC estimates that more than 1 in 3 adults over the age of 45 experience loneliness in the United States. Certain factors may increase the risk of social isolation and loneliness, including:

• Those with lower income (under $50,000 a year)
• Individuals experiencing certain mental health disorders
• Members of discriminated or marginalized groups
• Individuals experiencing a chronic disease or long-term disability
• Individuals who are unmarried, unpartnered, or living alone
• Those going through major life transitions (divorce, loss of employment, loss of a loved one, etc.) 

Having quality friendships, on the other hand, may provide benefits like reduced stress, higher levels of perceived happiness, increased longevity, and a higher likelihood of engaging in healthy behaviors. Proper support networks can also function as a way to access resources during difficult times; close friends may offer to listen to each other’s struggles and potentially provide solutions to assist one another. Because of these and other benefits, it may be vital to ensure that adults find and maintain friendships as they age. 

How to make friends as an adult

How you go about making friends as an adult may vary depending on where you live, whether you have a romantic partner, what your interests are, and countless other factors. Depending on your current situation, the following methods of finding friends may be beneficial to explore. 

Join groups online

For those who don’t have time to attend in-person events or want to get to know individuals before meeting up, social media sites like Facebook and messaging apps like Discord have numerous groups that cater to a variety of interests. These groups may be based on a mutual love for a sports team, hobby, television show, book series, or any number of other topics. Depending on what group you join, you may participate in discussions surrounding your chosen topic, updates that may affect the focus of the group, or find information relating to events. In some cases, groups may have meetups, where individuals can congregate in real life to talk about their shared interests and forge more personal relationships.

Find an in-person club

Finding a group that meets in person can also be an effective way to make friends later in life. One popular example is book clubs, which typically meet regularly to discuss a book or series of books. These groups may communicate online and have a regular schedule, so members know how long they have to finish a book before their discussion. Meetings may take place in any number of locations, including coffee shops, bars, restaurants, churches, parks, or one of the member’s households. Book clubs can simplify the friendship-making process by introducing you to individuals who share not only your love for reading but an interest in a specific genre of literature. 

Enroll in adult education courses

Many areas offer adult education courses through community colleges or libraries that cover a range of subjects from mathematics and science courses to creative arts like photography, drawing, or painting. You can start by researching what classes are offered in your area and determine whether there are any associated fees. In some places, adult education courses may be free for those over a certain age, or those belonging to certain groups (such as military veterans). Once you’ve found a course you like, you can join and learn new skills alongside other individuals with similar interests. 

Look for sports or exercise groups

Not only can exercise have a wide variety of benefits for your mental and physical health, but it can also provide a platform for you to meet other adults and form healthy friendships. These groups can involve playing team sports, such as basketball, football, and baseball, and may be tied to a league where teams play one another regularly. For those who aren’t interested in sports, groups focusing on other physical activities may be more suitable. Common examples include running, biking, swimming, and yoga. For either group type, members may have a uniform or team name that increases comradery, and in some cases, individuals will spend time together after their activity having a drink or getting a meal. 

Volunteer

Volunteer work can be a rewarding way to give back to your community, assist those in need, and form friendships with caring individuals. Just as joining a group based on a shared interest in a specific hobby or sport can help you meet like-minded individuals, volunteering can introduce you to others who feel the need to help people. You may find volunteer opportunities by looking for local chapters of organizations like Habitat for Humanity, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), and the American Red Cross. If you have volunteer experience and notice a certain need isn’t being met, you may choose to organize your own volunteer event to collect food for food banks, clean up trash, or raise money for a specific charity. 

Attend community events

Many areas will put on community events such as farmers markets, auctions, concerts, heritage celebrations, and festivals for residents and out-of-towners to attend. These gatherings can be an effective way to meet people with a wide range of interests and interact with other members of your community. You can start your search by checking your city’s official website, as many will have an event calendar. There may also be social media groups that you can check to find up-to-date information about celebrations and happenings. These groups have the added bonus of offering a way to talk with others who plan to attend and stay current with news about what's going on with the event. 

Finding new friends can be challenging without help

Talk to a therapist about making friends here

Isolation and loneliness shouldn’t be ignored 

While putting in the effort to make friends as an adult can be important, it’s also important to acknowledge feelings of isolation and loneliness. Even for those with a support system and good friends, these feelings may still occur. If isolation and loneliness are ignored, individuals may experience negative consequences. To address these challenges, it can be important to seek the help of a mental health professional.

Therapy can offer a safe environment to discuss the struggles of loneliness, explore the effect that isolation is having on your life, and find actionable solutions to help you improve your social circle and well-being. Some types of therapy, such as group therapy, may also provide a way to discuss the challenges relating to isolation with other individuals experiencing similar situations. 

However, some individuals may not have access to in-person therapy, such as those living in rural areas or health professional shortage areas (HPSAs). In other cases, people may not have time to commute to in-person sessions due to other obligations, including work, school, or childcare. For these individuals, it may be beneficial to look into other ways to see a mental health professional, such as online therapy. 

Research suggests that there are no significant differences between the efficacy of online therapy and face-to-face therapy. Platforms like BetterHelp can also simplify the process of finding a therapist by providing a large database of mental health professionals to be matched with. Once you find the right health provider for you, sessions can be conducted from anywhere with a reliable internet connection, including the comfort of your own home.