Giving Your Life Some Pizzazz: How To Get Unstuck

When a car gets stuck in a rut (or grooves in the road), it can be difficult to get it unstuck. By pressing on the gas, you might realize that your tires can be spinning—but you’re not making any forward progression. 

An emotional rut can be similar to this, similarly describing the state of being stuck in an endless, monotonous routine for many. Emotional ruts (also called languishing) can reduce creativity, motivation, energy levels and the quality and fortitude of one’s mental health, which can be difficult to overcome without a plan. 

There are several strategies you can use to address languishing, including breaking down your day into small chunks, using behavioral activation strategies, adopting healthy lifestyle habits and speaking with a licensed therapist. Read on to learn more. 

Understanding why you feel stuck to find ways to get unstuck

The technical term for an emotional rut is generally known to be “languishing.” Though not a formal psychiatric disorder, people experiencing languishing may have some of the following signs and symptoms: 

• Feeling flat, aimless, stagnant, empty or “meh”
• Experiencing a lack of strong emotions (such as joy, enthusiasm, anger or sadness)
• Finding daily activities boring and/or monotonous
• Experiencing lessened motivation, which can result in reduced productivity
• Experiencing trouble concentrating
• Experiencing changes in diet, appetite or sleeping habits
• Experiencing feelings of restlessness but feeling unable to keep up with daily work
• Experiencing feelings of reduced social connectedness

Languishing can be a common emotional state, as suggested by a 2021 study finding data that suggests that approximately 1 in 5 Americans were experiencing it at any given time. It can also be a major risk factor for developing mental health conditions. However, effective ways to address languishing symptoms are rarely discussed.

How to get out of an emotional rut

Languishing can be hard to recognize when you’re experiencing it, with many people describing the ordeal as a slow descent into an emotional rut. Understanding the symptoms and ways to address them can help prevent an emotional rut (or address it) before it gets worse. We recommend: 

Acknowledging your symptoms 

Languishing can be a common occurrence, and putting a name to your symptoms can help you understand your feelings and relate to others. It can provide a succinct way to describe how you feel to others, and you may realize that many people relate to your experience. This can be validating and can support you in moving forward. 

Set boundaries

Interruptions and unproductivity can make languishing worse, because it can feel as though you’re not accomplishing anything with your time. Blocking social media on your devices (or setting time limits), reducing the number of times you check your email per day, breaking tasks up into uninterrupted chunks with time-limited breaks after each chunk and stopping multitasking can boost productivity—which can, in turn, improve motivation and satisfaction. 

Focus outward to find ways to get unstuck

Studies have found data that suggests that individuals with an inward focus might experience languish more frequently. Refocusing on community can help to break someone out of a languishing pattern and can foster a sense of meaning and connection for many. 

Volunteering can also be an effective way to improve mental and physical health, increase social connectedness and improve life satisfaction and self-esteem. A 2018 study published in BMC Public Health found data that suggests that other-oriented volunteering can improve social well-being by 11.11% and reduce depression by 4.3%.

Prioritize healthy lifestyle habits

Exercise can boost cognitive function, productivity, mood and self-esteem. Additionally, exercise can provide us with a sense of purpose and a set of achievable goals. Other healthy lifestyle changes, such as getting enough sleep and eating a balanced diet can also improve mental and physical health. 

Try journaling as a way to get unstuck

Journaling can be a helpful tool to track your daily symptoms, identify triggers and gain greater perspective. Writing about your feelings can also help you understand them. Committing to journaling for 15 minutes twice per week may be enough to improve mental health. 

Consider meditation or mindfulness

Mindfulness can help to reframe stress and can improve your comprehension of your feelings. It is generally regarded as one of the most accessible supportive strategies available, as this can be done simply by shifting one’s thoughts. 

Try behavioral activation

If you can identify something that would make you feel better (such as better fitness, productivity or financial security) you can start with small goals. For example, you can start getting 20 minutes of physical activity today, or you can put $5 in your savings. Behavioral activation, for many, is about acting now, rather than waiting for some time down the road.

Brad Stulberg writes in his opinion piece for The New York Times that he uses the following phrase to initiate action: “This is what’s happening right now. I’m doing the best that I can. Just get going and see what happens”. 

Create a vision board

A vision board can provide a helpful roadmap to achieving measurable, specific goals.  If you find it difficult to stay focused on your goals, the tangible representation of them may be a helpful motivational tool. Many people create vision boards to focus on career aspirations, financial goals, mental health, travel, socializing, skill development, education or physical health.

Online therapy can help

Since languishing can exist in a grey zone between flourishing and depression, many people may be tempted to discount their experience or think they just need to “get over it”.

Seeking professional support for how to get unstuck

Emotional ruts can be common, valid and challenging experiences for many. When left unaddressed, individuals who are languishing might experience a 67-89% greater risk of developing an anxiety disorder and a 104-117% greater risk of developing depression compared with those who are flourishing. 

If you’ve tried self-care methods and you still don’t feel like you’re thriving, you might want to consider reaching out to a professional. They can support you from the comfort of your home or safe place, which can make treatment more accessible to some who are actively languishing. 

Is online therapy effective?

Therapy has been clinically suggested to provide long-term benefits for emotional well-being. If you feel uncomfortable opening up about your emotions, you may want to consider online therapy as a supportive strategy that can help. 

A 2022 study found that online therapy can improve self-reported well-being, possibly reducing symptoms of depression. Additionally, online therapy from sites like BetterHelp can often be more cost-effective than traditional in-person therapy.