Overcoming Anxiety And Learning How Not To Be Nervous
Sweaty palms, a racing heartbeat, and a shaky voice are common signs that your nerves have taken over. When you're used to experiencing nervousness throughout life, imagining a life without this emotion may be difficult. However, with practice, you can learn techniques to manage and overcome your nervousness in various settings and circumstances, potentially enabling you to move forward productively.
Methods for reducing nervousness
Below are a few methods you can try at home, work, or in public to reduce nervousness, regardless of the cause.
Develop self-confidence
A lack of self-confidence may make you prone to experiencing nervousness while attending social events or performing in public. You may struggle to deliver a speech, get through a job interview, talk to new people, or plan for a potentially nerve-racking experience. In these cases, expecting to fail or embarrass yourself can exacerbate nervousness. To overcome these circumstances, it may help to build up your confidence. Before a challenging event, count your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses, try activities outside your comfort zone, and avoid comparing yourself to others.
Realizing that no one else can know what you think and feel by looking at you can be helpful. This worry may be called the "fishbowl" phenomenon. In this phenomenon, people experience thoughts like, "Everyone will know I am nervous" or "People will see that I am not prepared." However, people are often concerned with their own lives and problems to the extent that they might not pay much mind to judging you.
Prepare yourself
Before you knowingly go into a situation that may make you nervous, a helpful exercise can be to ask yourself, "What is the worst that can happen"? Follow that thought through to its conclusion. The nervous brain often focuses on the worst possible scenario. However, planning for how you'd react in the worst-case scenario can help you be prepared in case it does occur, even if it's unlikely. You might notice that you are often better prepared than you think to cope with challenges.
It may also help to imagine the best-case scenario. At this point, you may not know the outcome, so the outcome could be positive. Ask yourself the following questions:
- How important is this situation to me?
- How will I celebrate when I meet my goal?
- Is this a significant goal?
- Do I want to be stopped from accomplishing a meaningful task because of momentary discomfort?
- What could help me ensure my success?
If you struggle to develop solutions alone, talking it through with someone you trust may be beneficial. If you plan for all scenarios, your body and mind may automatically respond to challenges with your plan instead of reacting with fear.
Practice self-care
You may be more nervous when you have not attended to physical and emotional needs, like agreeing to another obligation when you are already pressed for time. Consider identifying areas of your life that could benefit from attention, whether focusing on eating a healthy diet or ensuring you are well-rested.
Add a healthy exercise routine, spend time outdoors, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. If you're experiencing emotional challenges, try to discover healthy ways to overcome them, perhaps with the assistance of a professional. When your basic needs are attended to, coping with nerves in a high-stress situation may be more manageable.
Reframe how you look at failure
Failure or the idea of failure can make some individuals want to give up. However, reframing failure as an opportunity for growth or a situation that leads to a better opportunity may help you. For example, if you don't get a job you applied for, it may mean you'll get a better and higher-paying job soon. People who give up after their first failure may not see possible wins in the future. When you're not afraid of failing, you may not be as nervous when you try to meet your goals.
Breathe deeply
If you cannot avoid a tense or stressful situation, modulating your nervous system may help. First, try taking a deep breath that fills the space underneath your lungs. Some people breathe shallowly into their lungs instead of making their breath slow and controlled. Deep breathing techniques can give you time to settle into the situation and take charge. It can also supply your brain with more oxygen to think clearly. You can use breathing exercises to incite a sense of calm anywhere, at any moment. As the situation unfolds, you can continue to focus on your breathing to control your nerves.
Practice other forms of relaxation
Other methods of relaxation you can use to calm your nervous system may include progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, and mindfulness. Progressive muscle relaxation involves purposely tensing one muscle group at a time before relaxing those muscles. Your muscles hold a lot of tension, so progressive relaxation may reduce nervousness by reducing the physical tension that contributes to it.
Another tool is visualization, during which you create a space in your mind that evokes peace. Seeing this place in your mind's eye can relax you and remind you that you have control over your thoughts. Mindfulness exercises train your brain to stay in the moment by focusing your awareness on your senses, not your thoughts. In addition, these exercises have been associated with reduced anxiety and stress in studies, common causes of nervousness.
Speak to a professional
If your nerves are getting in the way of your ability to live productively, it may be helpful to speak with a counselor. A mental health professional can equip you with calming techniques and tools for your most challenging moments.
If you face barriers to traditional counseling, a platform like BetterHelp may provide an alternative way to receive care. Through an online platform, you can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions with your therapist. In addition, you can sign up for support groups led by professionals to meet others living with mental health challenges. This process may ease some nervousness from seeing a mental health counselor.
Research has shown that online therapy can be as effective as face-to-face therapy for managing symptoms of various mental health conditions. One study published in ScienceDirect found that online cognitive-behavioral therapy successfully treated nervousness and anxiety, with results lasting over one year later.
Takeaway
What are some practices for learning how not to be nervous?
Wondering how not to be nervous is common in today’s stressful world, but you can decrease anxious feelings with some evidence-based practices. If you are someone who has always had a nervous disposition, you may benefit from therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in particular can help you relearn negative patterns of thought and behavior and move them into healthier directions.
In addition to therapy, you can follow healthy lifestyle habits that can reduce stress hormones and help you to feel more relaxed in general. These include getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, getting outside in nature, and getting moderate exercise on most days of the week.
How do I turn my nerves into confidence?
Pre-performance nerves are a natural reaction for most people. You may notice that your heart rate increases, and your stomach feels upset. Adrenaline is high and your body is in fight or flight mode.
Social Anxiety
If you are looking for confidence before some sort of performance (this could be anything from taking the stage in an opera or showing up at a birthday party), you can do one or more of the following:
- Learn to think positively. Don’t focus on what could go wrong, but write 10 or so thoughts down about what will be great about your performance
- Sit down with a friend and ask them to give you a pep talk
- Practice. No matter what the activity is, practice what you can say in any number of situations. This can give you the confidence to perform when the time comes (not to mention that you can also rely on muscle memory)
How to reduce anxious feelings associated with social anxiety disorder?
There are a number of lifestyle practices that you can follow that can help you feel calmer overall, and reduce symptoms of anxiety.
Overcome social anxiety disorders and learn how not to be nervous
If you are feeling anxious at a particular moment you can do one of the following:
- Slow down your breathing
- Question your thoughts and take inventory of what you feel vs what is actually happening
- Hold an ice cube in your hand
- Journal your feelings
What is the 3 3 3 rule for anxiety?
The 333 rule for anxiety management is a technique you can use to cope with intense feelings of anxiety or panic. Begin by observing your environment and then identifying and naming:
- 3 things you see
- 3 things you hear
- 3 things you can touch (and then touch them)
How can I calm my nervous system in a natural way?
There are a number of evidence-based practices that can help you to feel calmer.
Techniques that reduce anxious feelings and nervousness
Some of these stress management techniques include:
- Getting moderate exercise on most days
- Maintaining strong social connections
- Mindfulness exercises like meditation and deep breathing
- Getting enough sleep by implementing good sleep hygiene practices
- Grounding practices like the 3/3/3 method, or journaling
What foods can help with anxiety disorders?
While it isn’t a comprehensive solution, there are some foods that can lower cortisol (a stress hormone) in the body, which may help you feel less anxious.
Foods to improve mental health and relieve symptoms of social anxiety disorder
Some of these foods include:
- Foods high in B vitamins (Chicken, beef, eggs, fortified cereals, nutritional yeast)
- Omega 3 fatty acids (salmon, oysters, olive oil)
- Foods rich in magnesium (bananas, spinach, dark chocolate, broccoli)
- Fermented foods (yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, kimchi)
How to relax and improve your mental health?
There are a number of relaxing activities that can help you feel calmer, it’s all about finding out what works best for you. Some may find that a semi-frequent massage is an essential stress reliever. Consistent exercise like walking, hiking, or fitness classes can be helpful. Strong social connections that include frequent time talking with friends or other loved ones can be useful for managing stress. Some other activities that can be relaxing include reading, meditation, yoga, journaling, creating art, and singing.
Why do I feel nervous for no reason?
Sometimes your body reacts to stress in unexpected ways. Often people will deal with a traumatic experience with great calm and not feel the effects until weeks later. You may be reacting to old trauma, or you may be in a situation where you subconsciously notice things about which you don’t feel comfortable. You may be in a place that reminds you of a situation where you had a bad experience as a child. There are a number of scenarios that can cause unknown stress reactions like nervousness or anxiety.
Does nervousness ever go away?
It can and does. Sometimes when we are feeling anxious it’s hard to remember a time that we weren’t nervous. If you are someone who experiences frequent bouts of anxiety, you may find therapy beneficial. CBT is an effective therapy for anxiety and can offer a number of coping mechanisms and stress management skills that can help you feel relaxed.
- Previous Article
- Next Article