How To Be A Better Communicator: Active Listening

Active listening can be a vital communication skill that goes beyond simply hearing words. Rather, it generally involves attentively engaging with the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. Understanding and practicing active listening can enhance your communication skills, foster stronger connections, and promote meaningful dialogue. A licensed therapist, whether in person or online, can help you develop active listening skills and other healthy communication strategies to enhance your relationships.

Defining active listening

Active listening can be defined as the intentional and focused process of fully comprehending and engaging with a speaker's message. 

Without active listening, you may be more likely to run into misunderstandings when communicating or miss entire points altogether.

The importance of active listening skills

Active listening skills can be crucial for effective communication. The British Heart Foundation highlights that active listening can allow for improved understanding, empathy, and connection between individuals. By actively listening, you can gather valuable information, identify the speaker's emotions, and respond appropriately. Active listening may build trust, enhance relationships, and promote a positive environment for communicating. 

Techniques for active listening: Body language, eye contact, and more

To become an active listener, various techniques can be employed. Below, you’ll find a list of suggestions that you might incorporate into your communication style to practice active listening.

Maintain eye contact

Establishing eye contact with the speaker can demonstrate your focus and interest in what they are saying. It may convey respect and encourage a sense of connection.

Use your own words

Paraphrasing or summarizing the speaker's message in your own words can show that you are actively processing and comprehending their message. It may clarify any misunderstandings and confirm your understanding.

Pay attention to body language

Nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture, can play a significant role in active listening. In fact, more than half of communication may be nonverbal. By observing the speaker's body language, you can gain additional insight into their emotions and intentions.

Respond with empathy 

Active listening usually requires empathy, or the ability to understand and share the speaker's feelings. Responding empathetically, either through verbal acknowledgment or nonverbal cues, can show that you genuinely care and are attuned to their emotions.

Ask questions

Asking clarifying questions can show that you’re interested in learning more and genuinely want to understand what the speaker has to say. Rather than assuming what someone means, it can be important to clear up any confusion by asking follow-up questions.

To learn additional communication techniques, you might also consider consulting a professional, such as a therapist. They can work with you to develop new skills to become a more effective listener. 

Differentiating active listening from critical listening

While critical listening usually involves analyzing and evaluating information, active listening typically focuses on understanding and connecting with the speaker. 

Critical listening normally aims to assess the content of the message, while active listening tends to be centered around establishing rapport and fostering meaningful dialogue. Unlike critical listening, active listening tends to require setting aside judgment and fully immersing oneself in the communication process.

How active listening can enhance communication

Active listening can play a pivotal role in effective communication by creating a safe and inclusive space for individuals to express their thoughts and feelings. This can foster trust and open dialogue, important tenets of productive communication. 

By actively listening, you can demonstrate respect for the person speaking, as well as their experiences and perspectives. Active listening can address misunderstandings, reduce conflicts, and promote better understanding between individuals. Because communication is often at the heart of all human interaction, people who are skilled at active listening may enjoy more intimate relationships and experience success in their personal and professional endeavors as well. 

How to show that you are actively listening: Becoming a better and more active listener

Becoming a better listener can be a continuous process that involves listening and requires both practice and self-awareness. It can be helpful to actively seek opportunities to practice active listening in various conversations. This could include dialogue with friends, family members, or even colleagues at work. The more you practice, the more effective your listening skills may become.

It can also be crucial to reflect on your listening habits and identify areas for improvement. By consciously practicing active listening and making an effort to grow, you can become a more effective communicator and develop stronger connections with other people over time.

Benefits of online therapy

If you want to be a better communicator but are struggling with certain components of the process, such as active listening, an online therapist may be able to help. By signing up on a platform like BetterHelp, you can receive guidance and instruction from anywhere using video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging. By working one-on-one with a therapist, you can learn how to develop more effective communication skills and form stronger, healthier relationships with others.

Effectiveness of online therapy for people who have trouble actively listening

Research has shown that online therapy can contribute to more effective communication skills among couples. In one study, researchers assessed the efficacy of a behavioral couples therapy intervention delivered via videoconferencing. Outcomes of the study generally showed that participants experienced improvements in relationship satisfaction, mental health, and all other measures. Additionally, couples learned “important relationship skills such as effective listening and speaking skills.” These results were typically maintained at various follow-ups.