How To Be A Good Person And Why It Matters

How can you become a good person?

There isn’t a consistent definition of what makes a good person. Even rules that seem constant and rigid, like “Good people don’t hurt others,” can become flexible under the right conditions. For instance, most humans condemn murder and believe it is morally wrong, yet there are often exceptions that allow for taking a life in the case of self-defense or during war. 

Deciding what makes you a good person requires understanding your moral identity. What do you believe to be morally right? When can the rules be bent or broken? Do small actions, like holding the door open for someone, make you a good person, or does it take a more substantial effort, like volunteering for charity work?

Becoming a good person means understanding your moral code and improving yourself until your actions consistently reflect your values. While that journey is different for everybody, there are some common tips that may help you: 

• Don’t make excuses. Becoming a good person is a personal responsibility, and no one can achieve your goal besides you. Be wary of pointing the finger at others; becoming a good person often means examining your mistakes and making peace with your shortcomings. 
• Use honest and direct communication. Lies and deception are rarely seen as traits kind people possess. Learn to articulate your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. 
• Help others. Take time to assist others when you can; helping others through tough times will likely improve your reputation and self-perception. Good deeds and kindness are commonly considered a foundational part of being a good person. 
• Become a good listener. Knowing how to listen actively can make it easier for you to understand and empathize with others. Empathy is commonly associated with goodness, and demonstrating empathy is likely an important skill to have. 
• Always be respectful. Your words and actions should always demonstrate respect for the people around you and the environment that you’re in. Take time to learn how to control your negative emotions. You don’t have to agree with everything or appease everyone, but even when disagreeing, you should maintain a respectful tone and demeanor. 
  

How to be a good person: Understanding motivations

Philosophers have debated the reasons for being a good person for centuries. Today, there are several philosophical and sociological arguments that justify good behavior. One of the longest-running unsettled arguments is the egoism/altruism debate. The egoism/altruism debate examines what motivates humans to be good to each other.  

The altruism side of the argument asserts that humans have an intrinsic drive to help others. The existence of an empathetic connection between humans supports the altruism argument. For example, if a person comes across someone who is injured, they are likely to try to assist them, probably because they empathize with their position. In the altruism argument, empathy motivates good and helpful behavior, allowing for self-sacrifice with no prospect of receiving a reward. 

In contrast, the egoism argument suggests that people tend to be motivated to help others for self-serving reasons. It may elevate their status in society, make it more likely they can receive help from others, or put others in their debt. Furthermore, some proponents of the egoist perspective assert that even when someone helps another with no intention of a reward, the warm feeling of satisfaction that commonly comes after helping someone else may serve as its own reward. From an egoist perspective, helping behavior is inherently self-serving, no matter whether an external reward is expected. 

How do you feel like a good person?

Feeling like a good person is often related to self-improvement and self-acceptance. You will likely feel good when your behaviors align with your core values. No matter what your exact definition of a “good person” may be, if your actions match your beliefs, you will likely feel like a good person. 

You may want to consider building your self-esteem and recognizing your strengths. You likely have much to offer the world around you, and recognizing your inherent goodness can help you feel better about yourself. Self-examination may also be helpful. Taking time to analyze your understanding of what is morally right may offer insight into how you can be a good person on your terms. 

How can I be a better person and happy?

Self-improvement is likely one of the most critical steps toward becoming happier. People with good personalities who understand their place in the world and surround themselves with a support network tend to be much happier than those who do not reach those goals. Achieving those goals requires committing to self-improvement and growth. It requires a willingness to examine your moral identity and develop an understanding of how you conceptualize the difference between good and bad.

Many people begin by identifying their strengths and improving their self-esteem. You likely have strengths to offer, and utilizing your natural strengths can make becoming a better person much easier. Early in your self-improvement process, you should decide on reasonable goals that will continually make you a better person. Goal-setting can be challenging; it is important that you stay within your limits and grow into a better person at a reasonable pace. 

How can I improve myself every day?

Committing to daily positive change is likely a worthwhile goal. Improving yourself daily lets you take small steps towards a larger personal goal. Many people find setting both long-term and short-term goals to be helpful. Long-term goals should represent relatively large aspirations related to your self-improvement, and short-term goals should represent steps you can take to achieve your larger goals. 

Ensuring that your long-term and short-term goals are reasonably achievable is important. Your goals shouldn’t take so little effort that you don’t have to work to attain them, but they shouldn’t be so hard that you risk burnout trying to accomplish them. Appropriately balancing your goals is likely to help you stay on track and motivated as you incorporate daily self-improvement into your life.  

How can I change myself to be better?

Bettering yourself requires time, effort, and dedication. When you set goals and work toward them, you are physically changing the pathways in your brain, which requires consistent effort and repetition. If you are trying to rid yourself of bad habits or develop better ones, you may need to commit days, weeks, or months to the process. That is why choosing achievable goals is so important; if you go too long without reaching a goal, you may experience depleted willpower and burnout. 

When deciding your goals and how you want to achieve them, it may be helpful to study your successes. You likely have many strengths you can leverage on your self-improvement journey, some of which you may not realize you have. Consider paying close attention to the positive feedback you receive from others. 

Reflect on what strengths are apparent and how you can use those good qualities to achieve your goals. If feedback from others in your life is sparse, consider asking those around you for feedback directly. Don’t expect everything to be positive; you should be prepared for some (hopefully constructive) criticism. You can reflect on the criticism, too, especially if it conflicts with your goals, but be sure to come back around to the positive. 

How do I get better at something?

No matter what skill you are trying to develop, getting better at something requires willpower and persistence. Self-improvement requires actions that physically change your brain as your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change. Sticking to your goals is arguably the most challenging part of getting better at something, especially at the beginning of the process. 

Here are some basic steps to help you remain committed to your self-improvement journey: 

1. Develop a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset sees failure as a necessary part of success. You may want to work on accepting the trials and tribulations of personal growth. Doing so may make it easier to avoid burnout and stay committed to your goals. 
2. Develop refined goals. Goals that are too broad (e.g., “I want to get better”) are difficult to achieve. It is important that your goals be attainable. Each time you achieve one of your goals, the reward center in your brain reinforces the behavior that got you there. Refined goals are balanced; they aren’t so easy that you don’t have to work to achieve them and aren’t so hard that you burn out trying to attain them. 
3. Keep your focus. It is easy to get distracted from whatever improvement goals you have. Vices and bad habits are potential distractions, but so are the demands of daily life. Other people’s poor behavior can distract you as well. Consider learning to forgive people quickly, for your sake, instead of theirs.  Make sure you are reminding yourself of your goals and tracking your progress daily. 
4. Maintain accountability. Monitoring your progress towards your goals lets you analyze how your journey is coming along. If there are areas where you are struggling to progress, take time to figure out where the challenges are and how you can overcome them. Take responsibility for your own progress; only you can make yourself a better person. 

How do you keep growing in life?

Consistent personal growth requires dedication and commitment. As you become a better person, you will need to identify new growth areas and goals to move forward. It is likely prudent to engage in self-evaluation regularly. Take time to learn yourself, understand your moral identity, and determine which goals you should set next in your improvement journey. 

It may also be helpful to seek feedback from others. Friends, family, and coworkers can all be valuable sources of insight into your strengths and weaknesses. When seeking feedback from others, ask that they be open and honest with you. This means that you will need to prepare yourself to receive negative as well as positive feedback. Although criticism can be unpleasant - even if it’s constructive - listening to negative feedback can help illustrate areas for personal development, while positive improvement-oriented feedback is likely to improve your performance overall.