How To Be Happy Again: Self-Care Tips

Depression can be a vicious cycle. A unique combination of genes and environmental factors build the storm clouds that result in chronic, episodic depression. Once the cycle starts, it tends to become more intense. But an episode of depression — like asking yourself "Why can't I be happy?" — is something that you can recover from. If your mind tells you there is no point, try not to listen to it. You are the point and your well-being matters. 

Here is a quick guide on some ways to begin to boost your mood in order to be happy again.

Create a routine filled with laughter and acceptance of new experiences

If one day blends into the next, you might benefit from mixing up your routine. A new routine can provide you with a fresh perspective and approach to life. You may be able to find happiness by grounding yourself in a few "comfort" activities from your old routine while enriching your experience with new, and maybe even spontaneous, activities. 

New experiences and laughter

Try being open to new people, new experiences, and unknown adventures. You do not have to feel “up” or vivacious while trying new things. You may also try to do one small thing every day that is a little out of your comfort zone, such as by experimenting with a new route to the grocery store or buying a new exotic-smelling shampoo; “new" things can be small. Welcoming laughter with open arms helps to increase happiness, too.

Pay attention to your self-talk and positivity

Imagine having a parrot on your shoulder who voices negativity constantly – criticizing, nitpicking, and insulting you. Pretty unappealing? You may not be aware of it, but you likely talk to yourself in the same way. 

Natural negativity bias

According to evolutionary psychologists, people naturally have a negativity bias, especially when it comes to critiquing themselves. This means that if you hear ten things that are positive about yourself versus one thing that is negative, your brain tends to naturally focus on the one that is negative. For example, while you might forgive your friends for forgetting your birthday, you may condemn yourself for forgetting theirs. 

If you want to feel happier again, try paying attention to how you talk to yourself.  Help your brain by making a conscious effort to bring more of the positive things about yourself into your awareness. Turn your mind away from the thoughts that are not serving you and towards the thoughts that are more positive and self-esteem-building.

Spend time in nature as self-care

Joy in nature

You do not need to go far – just take a walk in a green space without distracting yourself with headphones or talking on the phone. Take a moment to notice the sunset or even an interesting-looking cloud.  Even watching nature-based documentaries have been shown to improve mood and well-being and reduce sadness. 

Mindfulness

Many people waste their lives living in the future or past while neglecting the present. But you can cultivate an attitude of mindfulness, engaging your five senses in the present moment. This shift in focus does wonders to conquer worry or regret. Mindfulness has been proven to help reduce depression, stress, anxiety, pain management, and addiction, and possibly improve the immune system. 

Mindfulness practices for self-care

Mindfulness practices involve focusing your attention on bodily sensations –oftentimes it is the natural act of breathing – or on an object in front of you. The goal is to notice everything about that activity or object, letting the thoughts in your mind float away without attachment to them. It can be difficult at first to let go of thoughts instead of following them, but with practice, it gets easier to refocus your mind on participating in the here and now. If you are unsure where to begin, you can find many mindfulness exercises on the internet, or an online therapist can help guide you in how to practice it. 

Gratitude journals

People who consistently write down their blessings tend to be less depressed. This has something to do with the negativity bias mentioned above. If we are focused too much on what we do not have rather than what we do have, that focus brings down our mood. Spend some time appreciating all the things that it can be easy to take for granted.

Spirituality

Religious practices can inspire feelings of faith and hope and cultivate strong community bonds. These factors may act as a shield against life's challenges. Not only that, but religious beliefs may alter your perspective of what makes up a happy life. 

For one example, Buddhism teaches that all struggles and sadness are rooted in desire. To be happy, focus on what you do have instead of fixating on what you do not have. You do not have to have structured religious beliefs to connect to a sense that the world is greater than your current struggles.

Develop real connections with others

Research shows that social media can sometimes trigger loneliness by reducing face-to-face communication. Instead of wasting time perusing Facebook, you may try to spend time developing real connections with others by taking a genuine interest in them, volunteering your time or resources, or inviting them to a special event.

Self-care

Too many people become overwhelmed and depressed because they prioritize helping others over taking care of themselves. Be sure to schedule regular self-care, in the form of meditation, a healthy diet, and exercise, so that when you do reach out to help others, you'll be at full force.

Develop independence

An unhealthy attachment to another person can create an emotional rollercoaster, on which his or her every emotion can influence how you feel about yourself. Develop your outlets, hobbies, and social groups to increase emotional independence and create sustainable happiness.

Talk to an online counselor to discover how to be happy again

If you are living with depression that just will not lift, you do not have to experience this alone and you can feel better. Overcoming chronic depression and achieving lasting happiness can be tough – but it is possible. The right resources can help you do it successfully. These may include speaking with a professional therapist along with other ways of investing in your mental health now, so you can increase the possibility of a healthier, happier future later. 

CBT for patients with depression

Many studies have found that psychotherapy can help people living with depression improve their moods, thoughts, and ability to physically function. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is one of the most popular and successful types of therapy for patients with depression. It works by helping identify triggers and false beliefs, and then reframing your thoughts so you can experience a greater sense of contentment and joy no matter the situation. 

Online therapy for positivity, acceptance, and gratitude

Because depression can lead to exhaustion that makes it difficult to get out of bed, so traveling across town to talk to a therapist can seem overwhelming, or even impossible;  online therapy is often a smart and effective way to get the help you deserve. Studies have found that online CBT – such as through BetterHelp – is just as effective as in-person therapy for many situations, and offers the added convenience of talking with a therapist via phone, video call, or online chat from the comfort of your home and at a time that works best for you. Learning acceptance and ways to develop gratitude and positivity is helpful.