How To Be More Confident When You’re Not In Your Comfort Zone

Confidence, also called self-assuredness, is typically defined as trust in one’s abilities, capacities, and judgment. It can vary from task to task; you might exude confidence for one task but lack it completely when doing something unfamiliar. It is not innate but rather a sense of self-trust that comes with appropriate experience. Because of this, it is likely best to think of self-confidence as a skill that can be built and improved with deliberate effort. 

Everyone has a comfort zone, and very few people can go their entire lives without stepping outside it. Sometimes, you will have to do things you don’t trust yourself to do well. That might mean public speaking, training coworkers, overcoming personal struggles, or any other adversity that threatens personal comfort. This article will discuss how to be more confident when you need to bolster self-trust outside of your comfort zone. 

The role of self-image

It’s usually worthwhile to acknowledge self-esteem when working to build confidence. Personal esteem is typically high in a confident person, but they are not the same thing. Personal esteem typically refers to internal feelings of self-worth, whereas confidence contains both an internal component related to feelings and an external component related to behaviors. Both can be improved with deliberate effort, and analyzing your self-image is likely an important part of working to gain confidence. 

A strong self-image is thought to bolster feelings of self-trust. Those who feel positively about themselves are often more willing to take risks, trust their abilities, and step outside of their comfort zone. Those who lack confidence often have a negative view of themselves and don’t conceptualize their worth very highly. Because of this, it is likely beneficial to focus on developing a positive self-concept when increasing self-assuredness. 

Using positivity to increase self-assuredness

Building self-assuredness likely requires a strong foundation of positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You should consider thinking deeply about how you feel about yourself and your abilities. It might be helpful to consider whether you have a growth or fixed mindset. Someone with a growth mindset understands that failure is a part of success and that multiple attempts are required for someone to gain proficiency or mastery in any skill. 

In contrast, those with a fixed mindset tend to believe talent is innate. They might make one or two attempts but often give up if success doesn’t come quickly. A fixed mindset is associated with low self-assuredness and a negative self-concept, increasing the challenge of becoming more self-assured. Understanding how you approach problems or things outside your comfort zone will likely be a helpful first step toward self-improvement. 

Some methods to improve your mindset and increase your confidence levels are listed below: 

Prioritize basic self-care

Self-care refers to health-promoting behaviors that help you maintain good overall well-being. While there are many components to self-care, it may be helpful to start by addressing the basics: diet, sleep, and exercise. 

• A healthy diet is commonly associated with good physical health, but it is also an important part of bolstering mental health. Improving and maintaining mental health is likely an essential part of increasing self-assuredness. 
• Adequate sleep likely improves concentration, bolsters well-being, and helps you stay focused on your goals. 
• Regular exercise is known to bolster self-image and self-assuredness directly, likely making it one of the most important forms of self-care to practice. 

Inject positivity into your thought process

You may want to start by examining your internal self-talk. Self-talk refers to the way you communicate with yourself. It can be positive, neutral, or negative. For example, imagine someone studies hard for a test at school but still gets a poor grade. Someone with negative self-talk might tell themselves, “You’re not smart enough to pass this class.” Neutral self-talk might sound like, “You studied, and you still didn’t get a good grade.” Someone with positive self-talk might say to themselves, “You might not have got the grade you want, but you still worked hard.” 

Take note that the person with positive self-talk still acknowledges their effort toward achieving their goal, even if they didn’t meet it. That extra positivity and self-validation can significantly increase performance, motivation, and personal esteem. If you find yourself speaking negatively to yourself, disregarding accomplishments, or discounting your efforts, it may be worthwhile to deliberately consider whether there are any positive aspects to your situation. For example, the test-taker discussed above probably avoided getting an even worse grade, got better at studying, and learned how to do better on the next test. 

Positive affirmations - acknowledging and recognizing the positive aspects of you or your situation - are a powerful way to bolster self-assuredness and self-concept. If there’s a lot of negativity in your self-talk, it will likely be worthwhile to deliberately find reasons to give yourself affirmations and introduce positivity. 

Use gratitude to your advantage

Positive people tend to practice gratitude regularly. It can be easy to get bogged down in negativity and see only the unhappy or undesired parts of life. Introducing gratitude into your routine could significantly bolster your overall well-being, including your self-assuredness. One common way to increase gratitude is by using a gratitude journal, which has been shown to increase positivity and decrease stress.

A gratitude journal is simply a place to write down positive things that happened throughout the day. Many people make gratitude journaling part of their daily routine, taking 15 - 30 minutes at the end of each day to record things they are happy about. There are no requirements of what you need to feel grateful for; you can journal about anything you like. However, try to avoid a common trap of avoiding thinking of anything positive on a bad day. It will be challenging to find something positive to be grateful for on some days, but almost every day has at least some small positives that you can use to fill your journal. 

Spend time with people who support you

Positive social interaction is typically considered an important part of increasing overall well-being. However, it’s important to note that the social interaction must be positive. Spending time with people who are unkind or unsupportive could potentially increase stress and decrease self-assuredness. If you don’t feel like all of your friends or family support you, consider spending more time with people who help you feel comfortable. While stepping outside of your comfort zone is likely an important part of growth, spending time with people who put you at ease is also important. High-quality, positive social relationships can help improve your self-image and may help you increase self-assuredness. 

Seek professional help

Building self-assuredness and a positive self-concept can be challenging for anybody, but additional barriers can substantially increase the challenges involved. For example, depression is known to be a major barrier to a positive self-image, making it much harder to believe in yourself when you need it the most. If you’re not growing at a rate you find acceptable, you should strongly consider reaching out to a therapist or other mental health professional. They can likely help you address the underlying causes of your low confidence, step outside of your comfort zone, face your fears, and meet your personal goals for growth.

You may want to consider visiting with a therapist online, especially if you have a demanding schedule or would find it challenging to travel to a local office for mental health care. It is also possible that you can choose from more practitioners than are available locally. Online therapists use the same evidence-based techniques as traditional therapists, like acceptance and commitment therapy, which could help you more easily embrace and acknowledge your emotions and experiences. 

Online therapy became much more prevalent during and after the COVID-19 pandemic, spurring researchers to conduct investigations to confirm that online therapy works as well as face-to-face therapy. The results of their research are consistent with the opinions of most mental health professionals; in most cases, online therapy is just as effective as its in-person alternative.