How To Calm Down From Anger: Short- And Long-term Strategies

Anger is often a natural human emotion, and at times, it can even be healthy. But when it becomes too intense or frequent, it can lead to problems, from relationship troubles to mental illnesses and even physical health effects. Learning how to calm down from anger can be important for avoiding these outcomes, both in the moment and in the long term. Deep breathing, counting, exercising, mindfulness, self-care, journaling, and therapy can all be helpful tools to effectively manage anger.

The trouble with uncontrolled anger

Although some people may think of anger as something to be avoided, it may not always be a problem. 

When it comes to anger, concerns may arise if this emotion becomes frequent or hard to manage. Uncontrolled anger may lead to violence, legal troubles, conflicts in relationships, or problems at work or school. It may also have physical and mental health effects, such as the following:

• Trouble managing frustration
• Feelings of guilt, helplessness, or worthlessness
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Elevated stress levels, which may lead to conditions like high blood pressure 
• Substance dependence
  

In addition to its possible mental health effects, uncontrollable anger may also be a symptom of an underlying mental illness, such as those listed below:

• Bipolar disorder
• Borderline personality disorder
• Intermittent explosive disorder
• ADHD
• Substance use disorders
• Conduct disorder or oppositional defiant disorder

Ultimately, whether anger is a symptom or a cause of a mental health disorder, it can be important to learn to manage it in a healthy way.

Short-term anger management strategies

Managing anger in the heat of the moment can be challenging, but a few tried-and-true strategies may help you calm down when something triggers you. 

Deep breathing

It may sound cliche, but the advice to take a few deep breaths when you’re angry may actually reduce stress symptoms, according to a review of existing research from 2019. Because angry feelings and stress are sometimes linked, this may make it easier to manage anger when it arises. To get the most out of deep breathing, it can help to:

• Lie down on your back, or keep an upright posture
• Breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth
• Hold your breath for a moment or two between each inhale and exhale
• Focus on expanding your belly when you inhale, and not your chest

Taking a moment to follow these steps the next time you get angry may help you bring your emotions down to a more manageable level. 

Exercising

A short burst of physical activity can be another useful way to manage anger in the moment. Exercise may bring extra oxygen to your brain, release stress-fighting endorphins, and give you something grounding to focus on. While you might not always be able to squeeze in a full workout, doing a few push-ups, jumping jacks, or burpees may still make a difference. 

Counting

Counting when you’re angry is usually less about reaching a certain number and more about giving yourself a chance to think before you react. The next time something happens that provokes you, try counting slowly to ten before you let yourself respond. This short pause may help you collect your thoughts and avoid a knee-jerk reaction. 

Taking a break

When counting to ten isn’t enough to calm your anger, you may find it helpful to remove yourself from the situation completely. Getting some distance from what’s provoking you and returning when you're calmer can give you a chance to think things through, weigh your options, and gain some perspective. Consider going for a short walk, moving into another room, or running an errand while you wait for the anger to subside. 

Long-term anger management strategies

While short-term anger management can be valuable, long-term anger management can be just as important. The following strategies may help you control and reduce your anger over time.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is generally about noticing your thoughts and emotions as they come up without passing judgment on them or reacting strongly to them. Try setting aside five minutes a day to observe your thoughts, either on your own or using a guided meditation. Over time, this may help you achieve distance from anger and other negative feelings, potentially empowering you to respond with a more level head. It may also help you learn to recognize what anger feels like as it’s coming on, which may help you take steps to calm yourself before it has a chance to build up.

Journaling

Journaling about your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations can be another useful way to separate yourself from them and respond more rationally. There can be various ways to do this, from stream-of-consciousness writing to listing out the big things that have happened each day. You could even try using a journal as a place to vent, which may help you clear your mind and get to the bottom of what’s bothering you. 

Self-care

Self-care can have a range of benefits for physical and mental health. It may also reduce stress, which can contribute to anger and irritability. Exercising, getting enough sleep, and eating a healthy diet may all improve your general well-being. When you feel better overall, you may find that it’s easier to keep your cool when frustrations arise. 

Therapy

If you’re struggling to manage your emotions, it may be important to seek professional help, especially if your anger is violent or explosive. A licensed therapist may be able to help you identify the root cause of your anger and provide more personalized tips for managing it. 

Benefits of online therapy

If you get angry often, you may find that you desire more frequent support than you can get from weekly or biweekly therapy sessions. With online therapy, you can use in-app messaging to contact your therapist at any time, and they will usually respond when they’re able. This may be helpful in especially frustrating moments. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Research has found that internet-based therapy may be an effective way to manage anger. In a 2023 study, 234 participants with problematic levels of anger received internet-based emotional regulation treatments. Researchers found that online treatment could effectively reduce expressions of anger and aggression.