How To Feel More Attractive In Your Own Skin
In today’s age of social media, it can seem harder than ever to feel attractive in your own skin. Factors like pop culture, social interactions, and beauty standards can all shape the way you see yourself, also known as self-image. Having a low self-image may make you perceive yourself as less attractive. However, by taking the right steps, it may be possible to boost your self-image, improve your confidence, and, ultimately, feel more attractive. This can involve mindfulness, self-compassion, self-care, engaging with hobbies and interests, and seeking support from others. One way to receive professional support may be to work with a licensed therapist in person or online.
Understanding self-image
Before getting into how to feel more attractive, it may help to explore the concept of self-image.
At the most basic level, self-image can be thought of as the way we perceive ourselves. This can include physical appearance, but it may also include things like strengths, weaknesses, personality, and place in the world.
Factors that shape a person’s self-image
Self-image is often tied to social psychology, or the ways that other people can shape our thoughts and feelings. Some of the factors that can shape a person’s self-image may include the following:
Family upbringing
Cultural background and social norms
Academic, professional, and personal successes and failures
Positive and negative social interactions, especially during childhood
Pop culture, the news, and social media
Mental and physical health factors
That said, self-image can also change over time. For example, you might have a different perception of yourself when you’re still in school than when you graduate, get a job, or get married. Positive life experiences, like getting a work promotion, may boost a person’s self-image, while negative experiences, like getting bullied at school, have the potential to damage it.
Consequences of low self-image
Self-image can play a significant role in how attractive you feel. When you feel good about yourself, you may be more likely to feel confident in your body and comfortable in social and romantic interactions.
Still, achieving a positive self-image can sometimes be easier said than done, especially when it comes to physical attractiveness. Social media, movies, TV, and advertisements can often distort people’s self-images, making them perceive themselves as less desirable. This may open the door to negative self-talk, unrealistic weight loss goals, and mental illnesses like body dysmorphic disorder.
On a broader level, a poor self-image may also put you at a higher risk of social, emotional, and mental health challenges. Some of these possible side effects can include those listed below:
Low self-esteem (the value you place on yourself)
Withdrawal from social situations
Challenges with trust, insecurity, or communication, especially in relationships
Trouble staying motivated
Mental illnesses like depression and anxiety
Reliance on alcohol or other substances
Given these potential side effects, it can be especially important to build a positive self-image. This may not only make it easier to feel attractive, but it may also benefit your overall well-being.
How to feel more attractive by building a positive self-image
If you’re struggling with low self-image, you may wonder how it could be possible to feel beautiful or handsome without changing your looks. It can be important to remember that there’s often more to attractiveness than just appearance, and research generally supports this idea. For example, in a series of studies from 2020, researchers put more than 100 participants through several speed-dating exercises. They found that social confidence tended to be the strongest factor in someone being perceived as romantically desirable. Therefore, having a positive self-image may be one of the best ways to improve your confidence.
The following strategies may be helpful for improving your self-image and confidence, which can contribute to feeling more attractive.
Mindfulness
It can be hard to change the things you think about yourself if you aren’t aware that you’re thinking them. Practicing mindfulness may help you build awareness of the things you tell yourself about your attractiveness. It may also help you learn to be more present and thoughtful in social situations, which may benefit your confidence.
Consider spending a few minutes each day observing your thoughts and feelings without judging them. You can try using a guided meditation, doing yoga, or simply sitting quietly and being present in the moment.
Self-compassion
The popular saying, “We’re all our own worst critics,” may have some truth to it. We tend to be harshest on ourselves, which can negatively affect our self-perception. Self-compassion, the practice of being kind to yourself when you run into challenges or failures, may counteract this.
As you build awareness of the things you say to yourself, see if you can shift them to be more constructive. Instead of constantly putting yourself down, consider talking to yourself the way you might talk to a friend or loved one.
How to feel more attractive in your own skin through self-care
Taking care of yourself can often be an important step toward improving your self-image. Exercising, eating a healthy diet, and practicing good hygiene may give you more energy and help you feel more comfortable in your body. As a bonus, simple self-care practices may also improve physical attractiveness. While updated evidence may be needed, a 1997 study found that grooming and good posture were often considered the most attractive features.
Hobbies and interests
Pursuing activities you enjoy can be more than a way to spend time. It may also help you to improve your self-confidence. In a 2019 study, researchers analyzed over 100 participants over the course of seven months. They found that spending more time than average on leisure activities may improve self-efficacy, or your confidence in your ability to solve problems and handle different situations. The more you excel in your hobby, the more accomplished and capable you may feel.
Social support
Being part of a community may help you feel appreciated. If you’re experiencing depression, socializing may also improve your self-image by reducing some of its negative effects. Consider making time to be around others on a regular basis. In moments when you feel down about yourself, your support network may be able to remind you of your value.
How to feel more attractive in your own skin through therapy
If you’re struggling with low self-image or related mental illnesses, like depression or body dysmorphic disorder, therapy may also be helpful. A therapist may be able to offer more personalized advice, as well as tips for reframing the negative self-talk that may be making you feel less attractive.
Benefits of online therapy
It can sometimes be challenging to leave the house for in-person therapy, especially if you’re managing low motivation, depression, or social withdrawal as a result of low self-image. Online therapy can empower you to talk to a therapist from the comfort of your home in a variety of convenient formats.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Internet-based therapy can effectively improve self-esteem. In a 2022 study, 26 individuals who participated in an online therapy program generally experienced significant improvements in self-esteem, self-compassion, and quality of life.
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