How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated Quickly

Getting over someone you had an unfulfilled crush on can present real emotional challenges, even if you never dated. It is possible to put a lot of hopes and dreams on someone, only to find that they are not interested. This can lead to real disappointment that is a valid emotional response, but there are ways to mitigate your emotional pain and get over the other person. Below, we’ll explore some strategies for getting over someone you liked but never dated.

Learning how to get over someone you never dated

One of the first steps you might take once you find out that a relationship is impossible is tell yourself the truth. While this can be challenging, it may help to admit that the other person does not reciprocate your feelings. If you hang on to the idea that your crush might come around, you may miss even more fulfilling opportunities for yourself.

Sometimes, when we have a crush on someone, we can get so caught up in the idea of them that we lose sight of the reality of them and their feelings toward us. If you feel unable to let go of your hopes for a potential relationship and find it difficult to accept that your crush is not interested in a relationship, you can become temporarily stuck.

Instead, you might find it helpful to focus on yourself and on the people in your life who care about you. If there is a possibility that this person may have an interest one day, then you can revisit your feelings if that ever happens. However, in the meantime, it may help to take steps to move on. 

It can also be important to respect any boundaries your crush has set. Even if there's a possibility your crush may want to move forward in a romantic relationship with you at some point in the future, you may eliminate that possibility if you continue to push the matter and disrespect their boundaries. 

Strategies to get over someone

At times, it may seem like you are never going to get over this person. It can be tough never having realized the fantasy of being with them. However, you may have new interests in the future, some that you may even be able to enjoy more fully than a relationship with your crush. 

You might try some of the following strategies for getting over someone you never dated:

Feel what you feel

First, it may be useful to allow yourself to be honest about what you’re feeling. Just because your emotions weren’t reciprocated by the other person does not mean they weren't real for you. If you need to take a day off and process your emotions, this is a valid response to what you’re feeling. Taking this time may be better than postponing your grief, which may lead you to carry it with you longer. 

It is possible to have very real feelings of grief even if there never was a romantic relationship. When we have a crush on someone, we often have hopes and dreams about what a potential relationship would be like. Even if those hopes and dreams don't align with who our crush really is or their true feelings about us, we can still grieve the loss of hope we had for the relationship. It's okay to allow yourself to feel disappointment, sadness, and other emotions.

Sometimes these emotions may feel stronger than we anticipated because there was no relationship, but if we ignore these emotions, they may end up resurfacing later and may even impact our future relationships.

Avoid being where your crush is

When you realize that you and your crush are not going to be in a relationship together, your emotions may seem confusing. It may be heart-wrenching for you to be around them, even if they have no clue about your feelings. Until you are feeling better, it may help to avoid spending time where you know they'll be and avoid talking to them or texting them.

If you are continuing to engage with your crush, it can trigger emotions and keep you stuck in a fantasy about them instead of accepting things as they are. If you are honest with yourself and realize that you still are hoping a romantic relationship with your crush may work out, then continuing to have contact with them may lead you to read too much into your interactions together and can keep you stuck in a fantasy. Taking a break may give you time to grieve and heal so that you can move on to a relationship with someone who values you as much as you value them.

Spend time with people you care about

You may have put a lot of your focus on your crush recently. This may be a good time to remember that you have other friends or people in your life who want your attention and care about you. You might consider having a lunch date with a friend or meeting up after work with co-workers.

Rejection can sometimes leave us with insecurities and lead us to feel unsure about ourselves. Spending time with family and friends might remind you of all your strengths. 

Take time before searching for a new relationship

It can be easy to fall into a pattern of seeking someone else when a potential relationship falls through. It may help to take some time before looking for a new relationship. Most people experience rejection at some point in life, so you are not alone. When you can find a sense of worth and confidence from within, it may help you move on more quickly.

If you find yourself having difficulty moving past a crush even after some time has passed, it could be a sign that you could benefit from building your self-esteem from within as opposed to attention from outside sources. Just because one person does not return your feelings does not mean you are incapable of being loved. It may help to reframe the situation by challenging cognitive distortions. For example, you might consider that you may have avoided a harmful situation with someone who would not have appreciated you for who you truly are.

Also, it may help to consider that even if your crush wanted to pursue a relationship with you, it still does not mean that the fantasy you've imagined in your mind would become a reality.

Talking to someone about it

During this time, it may help to surround yourself with people who care about you. Also, you may benefit from speaking to a professional therapist if you need to talk about moving on. Talking to a therapist may help you rebuild your confidence, which may in turn equip you for a fulfilling relationship in the future.

Therapy can be an effective way to move on after heartache. If you’re not feeling well enough to see a therapist in the office, you might consider online therapy, which research has shown to be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy.

With online therapy, you can connect with a counselor from home or any place where you have a reliable internet connection. You can communicate with a therapist via live chat, phone, or videoconferencing—or any combination of these methods. If you’re ready to get started, BetterHelp can typically connect you with a counselor within 48 hours.