How To Not Get Nervous And Calm Anxiety

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC and Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW

Updated October 8, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Everyone gets nervous from time to time. Nervousness is thought to be a survival mechanism that warns us that something might not be right in a given situation. Many people make the mistake of thinking that nervousness is a sign of weakness. When you feel nervous, it may be your body's way of telling you that there is a concern to be addressed.

However, it can become overwhelming when you get so nervous that you can't do what you want or need to do. Instead of beating yourself up or blaming yourself, it may help to acknowledge what you’re feeling and then employ some evidence-based strategies to address the situation at hand.

Below, we’ll discuss some strategies that you can use to not get nervous and to mitigate the effects of nervousness when it arises.

Do nervous feelings dictate your decisions?

Get help managing them in therapy

Acknowledge your feelings

First, it may be helpful to acknowledge your feelings when you get nervous. Acceptance tends to be part of mindfulness, which may help you remain calm and recognize what you’re feeling without judgment. You may find it helpful to think or say to yourself, "I'm getting nervous," and follow that up with a statement like "I'm going to do ____ about it." You can fill in the blank with anything that you find helpful, but the following are a few strategies that might be useful in those situations.

How to not get nervous

(1) Regulating your breathing

Research shows that deep breathing can help with relaxation as a result of the effects on the parasympathetic nervous system. To practice deep breathing, it may help to focus on your abdomen. For this exercise, you can put your hands on your abdomen and slowly inhale through your nose. As you inhale, you should feel your abdomen expand. Next, you can hold your breath for a few moments when your abdomen is fully expanded and then slowly exhale through your mouth. It may help to repeat this breathing pattern for a few minutes.

(2) Physical exercise

Numerous studies show that physical exercise can also help relieve stress. According to Harvard Health Publishing, the “mental benefits of aerobic exercise have a neurochemical basis. Exercise reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body's natural painkillers and mood elevators.”

When it comes to exercise, you can choose from a number of activities, such as jogging, going for a walk, or lifting weights. It doesn’t have to be highly strenuous exercise to be effective to have an effect on your stress levels.

(3) Writing out why you feel anxious

Sometimes, writing out why you feel nervous may help prevent nervousness or reduce it when it arises. According to The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, journaling has been shown to decrease anxiety and depression.

If you write out your thoughts, feelings, and worries, you may progress further in acknowledging them. This may get them out in the open and help you confront what it is you're nervous about.

Assessing when it is that you get nervous

It may also help to assess whether there is a specific context associated with your nervousness. For example, some people experience nervousness in the days leading up to important meetings or presentations. If this is the case for you, you may benefit from preparing mentally for such occasions. You can create a personalized plan that incorporates self-care exercises for the days prior to those occasions.

Building a support system

Another strategy for overcoming nervousness may involve building and leaning into a support system. Some people make the mistake of believing that asking for help is indicative of some type of flaw or shortcoming. Asking for support from friends and family can be a sign of strength. Research shows that a support system can make a significant difference in our mental health and promote resilience during stressful situations.

Know when to lean on others

If you know that you will be facing an event or situation that tends to cause nervousness, you might plan to spend time with people in your support system in the days or weeks leading up to it. This may help mitigate any nervousness that arises and help you show up with confidence and composure.

Do nervous feelings dictate your decisions?

Get help managing them in therapy

Talking to a therapist about nervousness

In addition to using some of the above strategies to overcome nervousness, you may find that it helps to consult a licensed counselor. A counselor may be able to help you identify some of the root causes of your nervousness and provide personalized strategies to overcome it. If you feel nervous about visiting a therapist’s office, you might consider trying online therapy, which many peer-reviewed studies have found to be effective. One review and meta-analysis from 2020 found online therapy to be at least as effective as traditional in-person therapy.

Online mental health services

If you decide to try online therapy, you can communicate with a licensed therapist from home or anywhere you have an internet connection. You can decide how you want to communicate with your therapist, whether by audio, video, live chat, or a combination of these modalities. With BetterHelp, you can also message your therapist 24/7 through the in-app messaging feature, which provides you with a record of your communication with your therapist. With this feature, you can contact your therapist at any time in between sessions, and they’ll get back to you as soon as they can.

Takeaway

Bouts of nervousness do not need to be a roadblock to you becoming the best version of yourself. Through strategies such as deep breathing, mental and physical exercise, journaling, and other exercises, you may find that you can avoid becoming nervous—or at least ensure it doesn’t last if it occurs. If you still think you need support with nervousness, you may benefit from connecting with a licensed counselor, whether in your community or online.

With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a therapist who has experience helping people overcome nervousness. Take the first step toward gaining confidence and overcoming nervousness and contact BetterHelp today.

Frequently asked questions

Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked about this topic.

Why do I get nervous easily?

Feeling nervous is a common response to stress or unfamiliar situations. It’s your body’s way of alerting you to potential challenges and can be triggered by factors like pre-performance nerves, personal worries, or anticipation of an event.

What can I do to calm my nerves when I’m anxious?

To feel calm, consider natural methods like breathing techniques or engaging in activities to relax your mind and body. Medications should only be used under the guidance of a healthcare professional.

What calms anxiety during times of stress?

Managing anxiety often involves a combination of strategies, including getting enough sleep, practicing relaxation techniques, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Sleep plays an important role in regulating mood and emotional resilience.

How long does anxiety last?

The duration of anxiety can vary depending on an individual’s circumstances and the underlying causes. For some, it might be a response to a specific situation, while for others, it can be a more prolonged experience requiring professional support.

What is the 333 rule for anxiety?

The 333 rule for anxiety is a grounding technique that involves identifying three things you can see, three sounds you can hear, and moving three parts of your body. This exercise helps to bring focus back to the present and control anxiety.

Aside from deep breathing, what are other ways to get rid of anxiety?

Ten ways to manage anxiety could include practicing relaxation techniques, getting regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, connecting with a friend, engaging in hobbies, avoiding excessive caffeine, seeking professional help, giving yourself a positive pep talk, and learning to recognize and challenge negative thoughts.

How do you rest your mind?

Resting your mind can be achieved by engaging in activities that you find relaxing, such as reading, meditation, or spending time in nature. It’s also important to remind yourself to take breaks and disconnect from stress regularly.

How do you train your brain to stop fear responses?

Training your brain to stop the fear response involves putting energy toward understanding your triggers, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, and gradually exposing yourself to the things you are afraid of in a controlled and safe manner.

What do anxiety attacks feel like?

Anxiety attacks can feel overwhelming and are often characterized by intense feelings of fear or worry, rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and a sense of impending doom. The experience can vary significantly from person to person.

What makes anxiety worse?

Factors that can make anxiety worse include stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, and negative thinking patterns. Circumstances like an upcoming performance or serious talk can also worsen anxiety.