How To Respond To Microaggressions: Strategies For Maintaining Mental Wellness

Picture this: You're casually chatting with a colleague when they make a seemingly harmless comment about your accent or background. It might be a quick joke, a backhanded compliment, or even a well-meaning question. But inside, you feel a sting. These instances can be referred to as microaggressions, and despite their subtle nature, they can leave you feeling unseen, unheard, and emotionally drained.

Still, there can be effective ways to address and cope with microaggressions, turning these challenging moments into opportunities for advocacy, personal growth, and mental wellness. It can be important to identify effective methods for responding to microaggressions, practice self-care, and seek support. One way to receive the professional support you deserve may be through an online therapy platform.

Recognizing the subtlety: Different forms of microaggressions

Offensive comments, behaviors, or actions that target an individual's race, gender, sexuality, religion, or other marginalized identities can all be considered microaggressions. They can be intentional or unintentional, and they often come from a place of ignorance or bias. 

Chester M. Pierce, a psychiatrist and Harvard University professor, first coined the term "microaggressions" in the 1970s to describe subtle forms of racism against a black person. Since then, this term has expanded to include various types of discrimination and prejudice, including that against race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and disability.

If these statements make you feel uncomfortable, it may be because they invalidate your experiences and identities. Microaggressions may be subtle, but their impact is not always insignificant. This type of discrimination can lead to self-doubt, shame, and even psychological distress. 

Microaggressions are not necessarily limited to verbal interactions. They can also manifest in behaviors, actions, and environmental indignities. For example, constantly mispronouncing someone's name, avoiding eye contact with someone, or assuming someone's role based on their appearance can all be subtle forms of discrimination.

White privilege, male privilege, and other forms of systemic discrimination can also contribute to microaggressions. It can be important to understand the broader context and power dynamics that may be at play in these situations.

The impact on your mental well-being: Why do microaggressions matter?

Words, behaviors, and actions often have consequences, and microaggressions are no exception. Though they may seem small or insignificant in the moment, these instances can accumulate over time, potentially resulting in negative impacts on mental health.

Research has shown that microaggressions can contribute to poor mental health, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. As we internalize these experiences, our sense of self-worth and belonging can be affected. Rumination and self-criticism may also increase, leading to negative thought patterns and emotional distress.

Microaggressions can also create an unsafe and unwelcoming environment. Feeling constantly on guard or having to explain your experiences can be emotionally draining and lead to feelings of isolation or exhaustion.

While you usually cannot control others' words or actions, you can learn how to respond in a way that prioritizes your mental wellness and preserves your boundaries. Only you can determine the best approach for yourself, but with patience and practice, you can find ways to assert yourself and cope with microaggressions effectively.  

Taking back control: Strategies for responding to microaggressions

In his article on microinterventions, Derald Wing Sue, Professor of Psychology and Education at Columbia University, introduces a framework for addressing microaggressions. He suggests that white allies and bystanders can take actionable steps to respond to racist acts against black people and other races. 

His work highlights how passivity and inaction can perpetuate discrimination and, more importantly, how allies and bystanders can make a difference by speaking up against microaggressions. When we remain passive, we may risk reinforcing the message that microaggressions are acceptable. Instead, we can choose to address them directly or indirectly. 

Here are a few strategies you can try.

Direct communication

Facing microaggressions head-on often requires courage and assertiveness. You may choose to confront the person directly, using "I" statements to express how their words or actions made you feel. For example, "I felt hurt when you said that my ethnicity is not a big deal." This approach can be challenging, but it can also be an opportunity to educate and create change.

Education

If you don't feel comfortable confronting the person directly, you may choose to educate them by sharing resources or having open conversations about your experiences. This approach generally allows for a more indirect response and can raise awareness about the impact of microaggressions.

Support

Having support from friends, family, or allies can make addressing microaggressions less overwhelming. You may choose to confide in someone you trust, seek emotional support, or join a supportive community that can provide understanding and validation.

Sometimes, the best way to respond to a negative statement or action is by not reacting at all. When you disengage, you typically choose not to give power to the aggressor and instead prioritize your emotional well-being. You don't have to feel obligated to explain yourself or get into an argument. Instead, you can choose to let it go and focus on your own healing.

At times, it may be appropriate to document and report the microaggression to a higher authority, especially in cases of repeated or severe instances. This action can hold the perpetrator accountable and protect others from future harm. When society is forced to take notice of microaggressions, it can create a positive shift toward inclusivity and diversity.

There's usually no one "right" way to respond to microaggressions. It can be important to choose a strategy that feels comfortable and effective for you. When people communicate hostile or derogatory messages, it can be essential to stand up for yourself and prioritize your mental well-being. In general, you have the right to assert your boundaries and prioritize your mental wellness above all else. 

Prioritizing your well-being: Self-care after microaggressions

At some point in life, many of us are likely to encounter microaggressions. Whether it is due to our race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other aspect of our identity, we may face discrimination and invalidation from others.

In addition to finding ways to cope with these experiences as they occur, it can be vital to prioritize self-care and healing after encountering microaggressions. Finding ways to take care of yourself can improve resilience, promote emotional well-being, and prevent burnout.

Some self-care strategies that may be helpful after experiencing microaggressions include the following:

• Self-reflection: It can be useful to take time to reflect on the experience and how it made you feel. What thoughts and emotions came up for you? How did your body react? Recognizing that your feelings are valid and giving yourself space to process them can be healing.
• Self-compassion: You should be kind and gentle with yourself. You may experience a range of emotions after encountering microaggressions, and that's okay. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and offer yourself compassion and support.
• Engaging in activities you enjoy: Doing things that bring you joy and relaxation can reduce stress and promote well-being. Whether it's reading, painting, or spending time with loved ones, taking part in activities that bring you happiness can be an act of self-care.
• Seeking professional support: Talking to a therapist can provide you with a safe environment to process and heal from microaggressions. A mental health professional can also offer tools and techniques to cope with the emotional impact of these experiences and build resilience.

Remember, self-care is not selfish; it can be necessary for your well-being. Prioritizing your mental health and taking care of yourself can empower you to continue advocating for yourself and others. When you are your best self, you can positively impact the world around you.

Benefits of online therapy

If you feel overwhelmed or need someone to help you process these experiences, online therapy can be a safe zone for people of all backgrounds. With the support and guidance of a licensed mental health professional, you can learn to heal from microaggressions and build resilience to help you cope with future challenges. The discretion and flexibility of online therapy can make it a convenient and accessible option for self-care when experiencing discrimination and microaggressions. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

No matter the mental health challenges you’re experiencing, online therapy may offer an effective way to address and overcome them. A 2022 study stated that online and in-person therapy typically produce the same client outcomes, joining a larger body of research suggesting that online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face therapy in treating a wide variety of mental health disorders and concerns.