How To Stop Being Nervous In Situations Of Stress
Severe bouts of nervousness are not limited to public speaking, big presentations, or other typical anxiety inducing events. For some people, one-on-one interactions can cause moments of anxiety or panic which can adversely affect their body and mental health. Situations perceived as important, like job interviews, tense phone conversations, serious relationship talks, and first dates, can all produce feelings of anxiety and fear, which can be challenging and stressful to address, sometimes more so for people with an anxiety disorder. During these situations, you may experience trembling, an increased heart rate, stuttering, and self-doubt.
There are many healthy ways to approach the effects of intense nervousness. Having a repertoire of coping mechanisms to use in these situations can be valuable. While you may not completely stop your nerves, having skills to calm your nervous system can help you feel equipped to move forward and handle challenging circumstances.
How to stop being nervous
There are many ways to manage nervousness, develop confidence, and feel in control, including the strategies below.
Prepare yourself
If you feel nervous before a stressful situation, take time to try to prepare yourself as much as possible. For example, if you have to make a presentation, ensure you're ready to fill any awkward silences with relevant comments. You can make a list of comments beforehand and practice them in the mirror if you're worried you'll forget them.
If you're going on a first date with someone new, prepare several conversation topics to ensure you never run out of topics to discuss. If you have an important interview coming up, show up ready to answer any questions that might be thrown at you. When you confront a situation with confidence and preparation, you may find it easier to focus on trying your best and knowing you did what you could to succeed.
When you spend time preparing for unforeseen events, often people don’t notice if you have social anxiety. Taking time to focus on a positive outcome may decrease anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.
Consider your place in other people's minds
Consider how you feel about others when they are conversing with you. If you're on a first date, you might not harshly judge your date in the same way you might judge yourself. It may be helpful to assume that your date is the same way, and if they are highly judgmental, they might not be the right fit for you. Even for those in a longer-term relationship, it is usually still of value to consider what your partner is feeling about you.
Every person has their own concerns, ideas, and thought processes. When you're making a presentation, each audience participant may have their own worries and thoughts about their situation. To them, your presentation may be a brief segment of information to consume and not a life-changing event. If you make a mistake, they may quickly forget it or empathize with you instead of feeling pity. Many stressful situations are a minor part of life that is temporary. If you remember that other people are likely thinking about themselves and not you, it may help you focus on giving your best efforts.
Use nervous energy to your advantage
Feeling nervous may not always be negative. Nervous energy may serve as the fuel to your fire. When you feel nervous, you may notice a surge of energy similar to the rush of energy associated with excitement. Instead of trying not to be nervous, think of it from a different perspective.
Excitement is often associated with significant events and positive outcomes, so channel your enthusiasm into an excited mindset rather than an anxious one. It could help your emotional outlook on the situation, making you feel calmer in the long run. For example, instead of thinking, "I don't want to give this presentation," you may think, "I can't wait to show them what I found!" or "I'm excited to tell them what I learned!" Harvard researchers have also studied this effect and found that it works to reduce feeling nervous.
Stay confident in your delivery
If you don't believe in your message, it may be challenging to have an engaging delivery. Many people may be able to sense authenticity and confidence within others. If you're afraid to express your emotions and beliefs, your audience might not be as engaged.
Whether speaking to a massive audience or an individual, staying confident throughout your delivery could help you communicate your message and dramatically reduce your nervousness. When you successfully master this technique, your nervousness may decrease.
For example, pretend you are tasked with giving a presentation. One way to ensure an effective delivery is repetition and practice prior to your presentation. Try to have one or two friends or family be witnesses to these trial runs and ask them for feedback. You may find that practicing in front of others you trust instead of practicing in your head (or alone) can reduce performance anxiety.
Focus on persuasion, not perfection
When presenting yourself or an idea to others, you may be tasked with persuading others. Try to be as lively and engaging as possible instead of only striving for perfectionism. Instead of focusing on what your audience perceives as perfect, try to focus on being yourself. Your audience may appreciate that your personality stands out from the crowd. Many charismatic, funny, and charming people may be effective at persuasion, as humans often crave connection, and humor can be a way to connect.
Don't give up when learning how to stop being nervous
Practice can be beneficial, and if you give up each time you feel nervous, you might teach your body that you are "unable" to continue when nervous. Even if you experience panic or severe anxiety before a presentation or interview, go into it with the goal of doing your best. Whether your worst fears come true, or you ace it, you may find that repeatedly exposing yourself to your fears lessens them and shows you that you are capable of change. This premise is the idea behind popular forms of therapy for anxiety disorders, like exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), phobias, and social anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders may lead people to feel nervous, but with practice the effects may be mitigated.
Deep breathing and other tips to stop being anxious
Practice deep breathing to reduce stress
Instead of breathing from your chest, try breathing from your stomach to increase the amount of oxygen in your brain. This technique may trick your body into believing that you're calmer than you are, which may help you sidestep common symptoms of nervousness, such as sweaty palms, stuttering, and jittery hands or legs. A popular breathing exercise for anxiety is box breathing, which involves breathing in for a specific count, holding your breath, breathing out for a specific count, and then holding your breath again.
Drink water when you feel anxious
An adrenaline rush can cause a severe lack of saliva regeneration. This lack of production may result in a dry mouth, making speaking difficult or uncomfortable. Try to stay hydrated so your speaking stays fluent and easy to understand. Bring a water bottle with you on stage if you're giving a speech.
Speak more slowly than usual
Decreasing your conversation speed may calm you down and allow you to breathe more easily while talking. It could also give your brain more time to process your thoughts, allowing you to craft your words carefully. If you speak calmly and efficiently, your audience may have an easier time understanding and listening to you. If you're prone to talking fast when nervous, try to remind yourself that talking fast may not speed up the event and that talking slowly can help you get through it with fewer nerves.
See a mental health professional about anxiety disorder symptoms
Critical situations may make you anxious. Severe anxiety may sometimes indicate an underlying anxiety disorder or mental health concern. Many people struggle with first dates, job interviews, moving to a new place, and significant presentations. However, if you find severe nervousness causing problems in your life, you may benefit from speaking to a licensed professional. Therapy can be highly effective in treating anxiety, and your therapist can offer coping skills to help you get through events. In addition, you can roleplay with your therapist to practice how you might address a scary situation.
Counseling options for stress management and anxious feelings
You might benefit from seeing a therapist if you're experiencing distress before significant events or having deep concerns in romantic relationships. Over 41.7 million US adults see a therapist, and the number is growing. You don't need a diagnosis or mental health condition to seek professional advice. Many therapists are trained in anxiety, stress, and fear support. You can also take part in treatment online.
Online mental health services for managing symptoms of an anxiety disorder
Online therapy is an effective and convenient way to improve mental health. A study published in 2018 utilized Virtual Reality (VR) hardware and therapist-led counseling sessions to see if these two methods could reduce feelings of public speaking anxiety. The study's authors found that 95% of participants saw reductions in feelings of public speaking anxiety over six months. This novel approach of therapy-focused VR treatment reflects the hybrid approach employed commonly in online therapy.
What to expect from online therapy
Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer discreet online counseling with professional, licensed, and vetted counselors experienced in helping people address stressful situations. With online counseling, you can match with a therapist from home and choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions with your provider. If you struggle with social anxiety, you can message your therapist until you're comfortable meeting them over the phone or via video chat. You can also choose to have chat sessions indefinitely if you are uncomfortable. The method you choose is up to you.
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Takeaway
Frequently asked questions
How can I get rid of nervousness?
One of the best medically-reviewed ways to reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and nervousness is through breathing exercises like diaphragmatic breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing, or “belly breathing,” directly counters the anxious alarm signals of the nervous system, deactivating the fight-or-flight system, lowering heart rate, and reducing blood pressure. To do belly breaths, follow these steps:
- Exhale completely until your lungs are empty.
- Slowly inhale, feeling your chest expand as the air enters your lungs. Try to take at least 4 - 6 seconds to fill your lungs.
- Hold your breath for 1 - 2 seconds.
- Slowly exhale, feeling the air leave your lungs. Again, try to take at least 4 - 6 seconds.
- Repeat until calm.
Belly breathing is one of the quickest ways to reduce stress, but it tends to be the most helpful if you can find a quiet, calm environment in which to complete the exercise.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety is a type of grounding technique. Grounding techniques help an overwhelmed person return to the here and now. They are useful for sudden bouts of anxiety or panic. To use the 3-3-3 rule, follow these steps:
- Name three things you can see. Take a moment to observe details like color and shape.
- Name three things you can hear. Try to associate the sounds you are hearing with their source.
- Move three body parts. Take note of the control you have over your movements.
How do you calm jittery nerves?
Calming jittery nerves often starts by learning one or more relaxation strategies. Relaxation strategies are evidence-based methods of reducing mental and physical stress. They counter the body’s fight-or-flight system, which produces the physical sensations of anxiety, like a high heart rate and blood pressure. The emotional burdens of stress are reduced by lowering the physiological effects of stress. Relaxation techniques are especially effective when managing sudden onsets of nervousness, but engaging in regular relaxation activities may also help reduce long-term stress.
Adhering to good self-care practices may also treat jittery nerves. At a minimum, good self-care usually entails getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise. Evidence suggests that regular physical activity is especially effective at reducing stress and anxiety, which will likely increase feelings of calm if sustained over time.
How do I stop stressing?
One of the best ways to reduce chronic stress is by seeking help from healthcare professionals. A mental health professional can perform an evaluation to determine if an anxiety disorder or other underlying factors are to blame, offer proactive strategies to manage stress, and help you build good self-care habits that reduce anxiety. A medical professional can provide diagnosis and treatment of underlying medical conditions that may contribute to poor well-being, as well as provide medical advice and additional information regarding how to best manage the adverse physical impacts of chronic stress.
What foods can calm anxiety?
One of the primary ways you can use food to help calm anxiety is by ensuring you have a healthy, well-rounded diet. It is also typically helpful to keep to a regular eating schedule. While a good diet likely forms the foundation of an anti-anxiety food regimen, evidence suggests adding these foods to your diet may be helpful:
- Foods rich in magnesium, such as leafy greens, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains.
- Foods rich in zinc, such as oysters, cashews, liver, and egg yolks.
- Foods that contain many omega-3 fatty acids, like wild-caught Alaskan salmon.
- Probiotic foods, like pickles and sauerkraut.
- Foods rich in B vitamins, such as avocados and almonds.
What foods can trigger anxiety?
Evidence suggests that foods containing sugar are likely to increase anxiety symptoms. The medical advice offered by professionals typically hinges on ensuring that a person gets a healthy, well-balanced diet. Even foods that don’t seem like sugary treats, including savory foods, might have enough sugar to trigger anxiety. For example, many processed foods contain added sugar to compensate for the poor taste of lower-quality ingredients. Generally speaking, following a diet that balances sugar, carbohydrates, fats, and proteins is unlikely to trigger anxiety. If you’re trying to reduce sugar to lower anxiety, you may want to consider first replacing processed sugars with natural sugars like those found in fruit. The sugar in fruit is metabolized by the body differently than the sugar in foods like soda and ice cream, making it substantially healthier.
Can you train your mind to be calm?
Many people have effectively trained themselves to lower anxiety, often by building robust self-care routines and adopting relaxation techniques that they use regularly. Training your mind to be calm may be significantly more straightforward with the help of a mental health professional, who can help customize calming strategies to suit your needs. They may also be able to evaluate for underlying mental health conditions that may contribute to the sense of anxiety and unease.
Can exercise help you manage anxiety?
Evidence suggests that exercise may be one of the best treatments for anxiety available. Exercise provides a useful diversion from sources of stress, and moving your body decreases muscle tension, which reduces physical sensations of anxiety. Exercise also changes brain chemistry, inducing the release of anti-anxiety neurochemicals that signal the brain to calm. Exercise also boosts the control of the brain’s frontal lobe, the part dedicated to conscious decision-making, over the amygdala, a brain structure that activates the body’s fight-or-flight reflex, producing feelings of anxiety. Finally, evidence suggests that an exercise routine sustained over time significantly increases emotional resilience, making it easier to handle sudden stressors.
Why am I so nervous all the time?
You may be nervous due to stressful life circumstances, an underlying mental health condition, or other factors. You may want to reach out to a friend or family member for support, as positive social interactions often reduce anxiety and depression. You may also want to connect with a mental health professional. A therapist or other professional can help identify underlying mental health conditions like anxiety disorders. They can also provide recommendations to help you soothe your nerves during times of stress. They might also provide referrals to other professionals who can make further assessments and recommendations.
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