How To Stop Talking About Things That Don't Matter

How do I stop compulsive talking?

If you’re struggling to talk less, even after trying to stop, it may be worth seeing a mental health professional to discuss your concerns. Compulsive talking can be a feature of some mental health disorders, including ADHD, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Discussing your concerns with a therapist or other professional is likely worthwhile. They can complete an evaluation to help root out underlying causes and recommend strategies to help you manage the amount you talk. They can also initiate psychotherapies, like cognitive behavioral therapy, to help you restructure your thought process and make it easier to consciously control your speaking habits. 

What is it called when you can’t stop talking about something?

Many clinicians use terms like “excessive speech” to describe someone who talks more than is considered typical, as well as other clinical terms that more appropriately describe how someone’s speech differs from the norm. In recent years, the word “talkaholism” has become more popular in the media and everyday conversation. The phrase was coined in the early 1990s by communication researchers James McCroskey and Virginia Richmond to describe compulsive overtalking. 

Is it better to be quiet or talkative?

Evidence suggests that compulsive overtalking may lead to personal and professional challenges. At the same time, being too quiet may create problems with self-advocacy and assertiveness. Balancing quietness and talkativeness likely leads to the best outcomes. A person needs to be able to assert their point completely, but overtalking could lead to less engagement from listeners. Overtalking might also inadvertently lead to oversharing - giving too much information while speaking. 

Overtalking in relationships

Overtalkers might also find some aspects of friendships and romantic relationships challenging. If one person talks too much, the other person may struggle to feel heard or like their opinion is not being considered. However, being too quiet can impact relationships too, as someone who struggles to communicate their thoughts may be unable to reach an appropriate compromise or mutual understanding with a friend or loved one. 

How can I talk less, even with ADHD?

Excessive talking is a common symptom of ADHD. Those who are diagnosed as children often receive behavioral therapy to help improve their impulse control, which subsequently helps them reduce the amount they speak and interrupt others less frequently. Although therapy is likely most effective when a person is young, adults can likely also benefit. It may be worthwhile to consider speaking to a therapist or other mental health professional, ideally who specializes in ADHD, for help managing excessive speech. 

Common tips to speak less

In the meantime, you can try these common tips to speak less:

• Pretend you are a ghost at a seance. Your thoughts and opinions don’t matter unless summoned by the person talking. 
• Tell stories like you’re sending a voice note, short and to the point. 
• If you become distracted, stop and ask someone to repeat their question rather than rambling on until you become reoriented. 
• Count to three after a person finishes speaking, and then ask them a question regarding their thoughts or feelings about what they have shared. Don’t immediately jump to discussing your own experiences. 

What mental disorder makes you talk too much?

There are several mental disorders associated with excessive speech. ADHD is likely the most well-known,  but other disorders can also interfere with speech inhibition. The manic features common in bipolar disorder may present with rapid speech that is often difficult for a listener to follow. Those on the autism spectrum may present with idiosyncratic speech that may contain frequent repetitions, including repetitions of what the other person has said. Anxiety disorders of all types can also increase speech rate and frequency. 

What is speech OCD?

Speech OCD is commonly used by laypeople to refer to compulsive speaking behavior. It is important to note that speech OCD is not a real condition that a mental health professional can diagnose. The “OCD” in speech OCD refers to obsessive-compulsive disorder, a mental condition characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior. OCD is a real condition and can be diagnosed, but popular culture likely uses “speech OCD” to refer to someone who talks more than average or identifies as having a compulsion to do so. Another term, “talkaholism,” is also popular, roughly synonymous, and likely less confusing than “speech OCD.” 

Do people with bipolar disorder talk a lot?

One of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, manic episodes, is associated with an elevated energy level, racing thoughts, jumpiness, and excessive speech. A person experiencing a manic episode may be very talkative, often jumping from topic to topic, which can make conversation difficult to follow. However, it is important to note that bipolar disorder causes significant mood shifts, and manic episodes are contrasted by depressive episodes. While a person with bipolar disorder may be extremely talkative while experiencing a manic episode, the reverse is true in a depressive episode. They are likely to talk very little and may struggle to think of anything to say. 

Do narcissists talk a lot?

While excessive talking is not considered a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder, people with narcissistic tendencies may tend to talk more to gain control or assert their perceived superiority. Narcissists tend to require more admiration and validation than most people and may talk about personal stories of triumph, put others down, or otherwise use speech to display their grandiose tendencies.