How To Stop Talking To Someone Who Is Bad For You And Your Mental Health
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For many, it can be challenging to stop talking to someone who doesn't positively impact their life. If you're involved in a close relationship with someone or they are a part of your family, you might love them, despite their impact on you. Although friendships and relationships can have occasional disagreements, it might be the healthiest option, in the long run, to end contact if you're in an unhealthy relationship with another person.
Once you have decided that you do not want to talk to a person anymore it may be a good idea to think about the process of setting boundaries. Setting boundaries is a healthy aspect of living a stable life. Moreover, an unhealthy relationship can negatively affect your health, with increased stress leading to a higher risk for cardiovascular disease and poor health. By learning strategies to end relationships that are no longer serving you, you can respect your needs and find healthier connections in the future. A transformational life coach or licensed therapist can help you move through this process.
Communicating the end of a relationship
Romantic, platonic, and family relationships can all end. However, if you are interested in ending a relationship it is important to know that it may not be neat, easy, or pleasant. Healthy communication and conversation can be essential to a functioning relationship and can also aid in ending a connection. Identifying your communication style could empower you to speak up and allow you to feel comfortable leaving a relationship on your terms when the moment comes.
Forms of communication
The three classic forms of communication are passive, aggressive, and assertive. Many people use components of all three when putting thoughts into words and talking with others.
The following are common traits of individuals who communicate passively:
Prioritizing the needs of others before their own
Talking in a soft or quiet voice
Struggling to express their own needs and wants
Being prone to suggestion or manipulation from others
Lacking confidence
Having low self-esteem
Maintaining poor eye contact with others
The following are common traits of individuals who communicate aggressively:
Using criticism, dominance, and humiliation to control conversations
Speaking loudly or in an overbearing manner
Becoming frustrated easily
Acting disrespectfully toward others
Refusing to listen to others or constantly interrupting others while they are talking or trying to explain something
Unwilling to compromise or negotiate with others
The following are common traits of individuals who communicate assertively:
Advocating for themselves (using direct language when expressing needs, wants, feelings, beliefs)
Listening to others without interruption while conversing
Standing up for their own or others' beliefs or rights
Displaying a confident tone while speaking
Willing to compromise and negotiate with others
Although how you communicate and respond during conversation may change in different situations or with different people, it can be healthy to know how you communicate most often. According to research, assertiveness is the healthiest out of the three styles and tends to be the most effective form of communication in social interactions.
If you identify with traits of passive or aggressive communication, compare those trait descriptions to the ones listed under the list of assertive communication traits to consider how you might adjust your communication style. Assertiveness can take time to learn and develop, but anyone can form healthy communication styles. It can also help you interact with other adults at work and in daily life.
Once you have identified how you communicate, use the channels that make you most comfortable to end your relationship. It may be necessary to tell a person, either in person or by message, that you do not wish to continue a relationship, would like to stop talking, and have no interest in having further contact with them. After you have talked with the person, take a moment to get some space and reflect on the conversation. If the person in your life is acting abusive or manipulative in any way, be prepared to stand your ground and take additional steps to stop further contact including blocking phone calls or reporting the issue to authorities.
How to focus on yourself and improve your mental health after ending a relationship
In addition to handling any needed communication, try focusing on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Ending a complicated relationship can be stressful or feel sad, and you may benefit from self-care to help you feel comfortable.
While you may never forget the pain of ending a relationship, there are ways to improve your mental health and move forward. Below are a few suggestions and tips for ways to take care of yourself when you decide to end a relationship.
Block them on social media
If you end a relationship with someone and seeing them online makes you tempted to engage with them, consider unfollowing or blocking them on social media. If this person has accepted the end of the relationship and is not active online, you might be able to let them maintain an online connection. Do what feels best and healthiest for your situation. If the individual continues to message you when you asked them not to, blocking them may be the healthiest choice to stop the unwanted contact.
Build self-compassion and self-love
Show yourself the respect and gentleness you would offer a friend going through a difficult time. Remind yourself that you deserve rewarding, genuine, supportive relationships, and anyone who makes you feel otherwise or hurts your feelings may not be healthy for you. If you make a mistake or catch yourself wanting to return to an unhealthy relationship, keep in mind that you are human, and mistakes can be a natural part of life. Use this example as an opportunity to learn instead of being upset with yourself.
Find ways to have fun
Life often requires seriousness and structure, but as you look for ways to recover from ending a toxic relationship, allow yourself to spend time on self-care and fun, either on your own or with trusted loved ones. As you schedule time for daily tasks and obligations, try to schedule a time to unwind and enjoy yourself. It can lift your mood and boost your confidence, helping you to feel good.
Participate in a hobby or learn a new skill
Consider returning to your hobbies, learning a new activity, or finding new coping methods. Beginning a new sport or class, learning a language, or developing a new craft are all potentially stimulating endeavors. Learning something new can help you improve your self-confidence and mood, engage with people, enhance your occupational skill set, or prepare you for a new job. Do research to find out more about projects or activities you may enjoy. For example, there may be online classes or a club you can hang out with in your city. You might write a short list of hobbies that you’re interested in and try them one by one.
Exercise regularly
Regular exercise offers various mental and physical health benefits, including the following:
Increased energy
Improved mood
Improved sleep patterns
Improved overall physical health
Enhanced cognitive ability
Decreased risk for cardiovascular disease
When you routinely exercise, your self-esteem may improve, and your anxiety or stress may decrease. Physical activity, like a morning run, can be a healthy outlet for releasing negative energy and pent-up emotions. It also allows you time to focus on yourself and your health instead of thinking about the person in your life.
Make healthy lifestyle changes
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle and sleeping well can improve your energy levels and strengthen your immune system. Eat well-balanced, proportioned, and regular meals with fruits and vegetables. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water and try to decrease fast food outings or meals that contain large amounts of grease, sugar, or salt.
A diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and high-fiber foods can help reduce your risk for cardiovascular disease and help increase your resilience to stress. In addition, try going to bed and waking up at the same time regularly. Reduce your sugar and caffeine intake before bedtime if you are having trouble getting to sleep and to help you get a whole night of rest.
Avoid using substances to cope with life
How to stop talking to someone who is bad for you: Seek professional support
If you are seeking advice or looking for answers on how to end an unhealthy relationship or how to stop talking to someone, you may already be on a path toward strength, independence, and improved mental health. Trust your instincts in recognizing a toxic relationship; know you deserve kindness and support. While it may be difficult, stopping communication with an unhealthy person can help you focus on yourself.
Online therapy with a mental health professional can be an additional support
Research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders reported a strong association between negative partner interactions and an increased risk for anxiety and depression. Even with trusted loved ones to help you through this painful kind of breakup, you may find that additional support is needed to keep your spirits and focus clear. A transformational life coach or another licensed mental health professional may be able to provide the guidance you deserve. If you struggle to find a therapist in this busy world within your budget or location, you might benefit from online therapy.
Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp may be able to answer your questions while providing flexible, affordable, and effective online therapy. By choosing between phone, video, or live chat sessions, you can meet with a therapist from a location that feels safe to you and many therapists have flexible hours that can meet your needs. Research shows that online therapy can be effective in different circumstances and is often more affordable than in-person therapy.
Counselor reviews
"Mary Smith is very thoughtful and a great listener. I can tell she has a lot of experience dealing with many situations and people, which gives me comfort. She always stays on track with my concerns and goals, and always offers relevant suggestions and tools to help me to conquer issues. I definitely recommend Mary Smith to anyone who feels stuck in their toxic ways formed by difficult past experiences, but you want to overcome. I believe Mary has the skills to help someone who really wants to change for the better."
"Stacey is absolutely the best! She is very understanding, and I feel like she not only listens to me, I feel like she understands me and always helps me to find clarity and work through my problems. I hate that it's taken me so long to write this review because I've been working with Stacey off and on for almost 2 years now, but I can guarantee you that she's definitely gotten me through some extremely hard times and is also always there to encourage me even when things are going seemingly well and helps me to appreciate the small wins! From test anxiety, to fear of failure, to past bouts of depression, to help with toxic relationships, etc., she has helped me through it all! I will forever be grateful to her for helping me regain confidence and peace in my life."
Takeaway
If you have realized that you want to stop talking to someone who is unhealthy for you, you might benefit from additional support to learn about ways to stop talking to them and end the relationship. While assertive communication can be valuable, an online counselor may also help you handle a painful situation. Take the first step by reaching out to a professional for further guidance.
How do you gently cut someone out of your life?
Here are some tips to stop talking to someone in your life who isn’t healthy for you. First, acknowledge the problem. Doing so can help to strengthen your resolve. If possible, have a conversation about your decision face-to-face, or through text or email, in which you explain why you are unable to continue your relationship. If this person is an acquaintance, you may be better off simply distancing yourself from them. For example, if it is a neighbor that you run into during a certain time of day, change your schedule to avoid running into them.
How do you stop talking to someone who is bad for you without ghosting them?
If you want to avoid spending time talking to someone who is not a healthy person for you, it may be best to be up front and honest. If you feel able to talk to them about your boundaries and to explain what you need and why you are acting, then this can be a healthy way to make the break. However, if you are not comfortable breaking things off face-to-face, you can communicate assertively over text or voice message.
How can you end a toxic conversation?
There are different ways that a person can be engaged in a toxic conversation. The other person may dominate the conversation and not allow you to discuss your thoughts. They may belittle what you have to say, or gossip about others in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable.
To end the conversation, firmly set boundaries around the issue. For example, if they start talking about another friend, say “I don’t like talking about other people that aren’t here”, and then deliberately change the topic. If they attempt to dominate the conversation, you can say “Let me finish what I was telling you first…” and go on with what you were saying. Firm redirection can help in some cases.
How do I stop contacting a toxic person?
If you are having difficulty contacting a toxic person in your life, there are some strategies you can use to help make it easier. First, clarify your reasons for cutting off contact. Make a list of reasons why you are choosing to go no-contact, and consult this list when you feel the urge to speak to them. Unfollow them on social media, and when people talk about them, change the subject. Strengthen your other social relationships, and spend time with friends and family. Finally, practice self-care. It can be distressing to cut contact with someone, even if we know it’s better for us in the long run.
How can I stop the urge to talk to someone?
If you have broken ties with someone and still have the urge to talk to them against your better judgment, recruit a close friend to help you. Strengthening other social ties and staying busy doing other things can help distract your mind while your emotions catch up to your decision. You can also block them on social media to avoid seeing their idealized life, which can make reaching out to them more tempting (and platforms also make contact far easier). Keep yourself busy doing things that you enjoy with people you love, and the urge to talk to this person should fade over time.
How do I detach from a toxic person?
If you are having difficulty breaking away from a toxic person in your life, recruit help from a trusted friend. Talk to them about why you feel that this move is good for your mental health, and ask for their help to strengthen your resolve. Make a list of reasons why you are taking this step, and use it to remind yourself when you feel the urge to speak to this toxic person.
Is talking to a toxic person unhealthy?
If you are unable to create and maintain healthy boundaries for yourself, then talking to a toxic person can become problematic for your mental health. In some cases, even with boundaries firmly in place a person may not be healthy to interact with. In these cases, you may choose to go low or no contact to safeguard your peace of mind.
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