In Control: Tips On How To Remain Calm
When you’re under pressure, whether it’s due to external conditions or your internal state of mind, remaining calm isn’t always easy. Still, the ability to remain calm can influence whether you are successful in achieving your goals or get caught up in struggling with your emotions instead. Strategies like taking a step back, breathing deeply, doing mindfulness exercises, using positive self-talk, and employing humor may help you maintain your composure. For additional guidance, consider scheduling an online or in-person session with a licensed therapist.
The impacts of stress
When we are faced with perceived threats or challenges, our body usually reacts to mitigate and neutralize that threat through a series of triggers. This is typically called the fight-or-flight response, and it can be critical for survival.
However, frequent or chronic activation of the stress response in the body without adequate recovery can have detrimental effects on physical and mental health, such as the following:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Headaches
- Muscle tension
- Disruptions in appetite and sleep
- Concentration and memory impairment
- Digestive problems
- High blood pressure
- Increased risk of coronary disease
- Immune system disruption
The relationship between stress and mental health can be particularly complicated. For example, stress responses in the body can exacerbate the symptoms of anxiety disorders, and anxiety disorders can exacerbate the stress response. This multi-directional relationship between stress, the body, and mental health can create significant challenges in overcoming conditions like anxiety disorders.
The benefits of staying calm
In addition to the benefits of stress management for mental and physical well-being, staying calm under elevated circumstances can be helpful in many ways.
Clearer thinking
When we remain calm, it generally enables us to make better choices in problematic situations. We can think more logically and solve problems more rationally.
Better focus
Remaining calm may allow us to better identify the stressors in a situation and contemplate possible solutions. Focusing on the solution rather than the problem can provide us with the mental space we need to clearly see the relationship between our emotions and judgment in a situation.
Better communication
Staying calm during a discussion can mean the difference between a thoughtful conversation and a heated argument. When we can’t stay calm during turbulent conversations, it often hinders our ability to be patient, presenting a barrier to communicating effectively with others.
Less reactivity
Chaotic situations can sometimes hinder our ability to think before we act or speak. Staying calm can provide us with time to think more open-mindedly and explore better options for resolving conflict.
Positive influence on others
Remaining calm during difficult times can have a positive impact on how others behave in the situation as well.
Better relationships
All the above benefits may work together to improve our relationships, whether it’s with co-workers, family, friends, or peers. When we stay calm, it can give us the space we need during difficult times to actively listen, practice empathy, and effectively communicate with others.
Tips for remaining calm in any situation
Though the benefits of staying calm and collected in stressful situations may be far-reaching, it can be difficult to maintain our composure when we feel threatened or when stressful things are happening around us. However, using a few strategies, it can be possible to remain calm and steady, even in the most tumultuous of circumstances.
Take a step back
It might not always be possible, but if you can, try to take a short break from the situation. Step away, take a few deep breaths, and regroup before resuming the conversation or interaction.
Utilize deep breathing techniques
Regular practice of deep breathing exercises can contribute to long-term improvements in stress management and overall well-being. Deep breathing can also help you remain calm in the middle of a stressful situation.
The act of deep breathing can also serve as a form of mindfulness or meditation. Focusing on your breath can redirect your attention away from stressors and ground it in the present moment, promoting a sense of mental clarity and calm.
To practice deep breathing for relaxation, you can try techniques like the following:
Diaphragmatic breathing (also known as belly breathing)
Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your diaphragm to expand, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. The key is generally to make your breaths slow, deep, and rhythmic.
Pursed lip breathing
Inhale slowly through your nose for two counts, pucker your lips, and exhale slowly through your puckered lips for four counts
Equal breathing
Breathe in through your nose for as many counts as feels comfortable, and then exhale through your nose for the same count. If you’d like, you can briefly pause between breaths.
Try mindfulness exercises
Meditation practice, yoga class, and progressive relaxation can all be examples of mindfulness exercises that can help you manage your everyday stress levels. However, they may not always be possible when you’re trying to calm down in the middle of a stressful situation.
Here are a few practical mindfulness techniques to use when you’re feeling stressed in such circumstances:
- Breathe mindfully, perhaps using one of the techniques described above.
- Check in with your body. Scan for places that may be harboring tension and give them permission to relax. Often, our bodies react to stress by tensing the muscles, so noticing this tension and releasing it can be a powerful form of mindfulness.
- Keep a stone or other object in your pocket to touch when you need help grounding yourself. The tactile sensation can calm your thinking and bring you back to the moment.
- Engage your senses. How does your shirt feel against your skin? Are there any smells in the air? What colors do you see around you? Noticing these sensations can help give you a little mental space to collect your thoughts.
- Take a moment to check in with your emotions. Ask yourself, “What is the urgency here? What do I need most right now?”
Use positive self-talk
When faced with a stressful challenge, it can be normal to be unsure about how to resolve it. However, when that brief moment of uncertainty becomes an extended internal narrative about how you can’t handle difficult situations, it can cause more stress and negatively impact your self-esteem. Try to challenge your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Think about your strengths and past successes. This can give you the confidence you need to address stressful situations as they arise.
Engage in humor
While it may seem impossible sometimes, finding humor in difficult situations (when appropriate) can be a great stress reliever. Humor can ease tension and decrease distress during difficult conversations.
Accept the things you cannot change
Some things may be beyond your control. Try to focus on what you can influence in the moment and accept the things you can’t. For example, if you’re engaged in a heated discussion with someone who is shouting at you, you might focus on your tone of voice. You may not be able to keep them from yelling at you, but you can control your own responses.
It can be important to remember that different strategies work for different people, so it may be essential to determine what works best for you. Consistent practice of stress-management techniques can lead to better resilience and a greater ability to remain calm during chaotic times.
Seeking help
Remaining calm during times of turbulence can come with many benefits, including better relationships, enhanced productivity, and improved mental and physical health. It can offer advantages to you, as well as the people around you.
Sometimes, maintaining your composure during times of stress may not seem possible, especially if you live with certain mental health conditions. However, with the guidance of a mental health professional, you can address anxiety disorders and other concerns and effectively learn to stay calm, even during overwhelming situations.
There can be barriers to traditional mental health treatment in some cases, such as issues of accessibility, schedule availability, and affordability. Others may have an aversion to seeking help because of the stigma that can sometimes be associated with mental health care.
Benefits of online therapy
Online therapy through platforms like BetterHelp can be an excellent solution to the obstacles mentioned above. With online therapy, you can schedule sessions that fit into your weekly routine, attend them from the location of your choice, and choose between video conference, phone call, and online chat to maximize your comfort level with the therapy experience.
Effectiveness of online therapy
A large body of research indicates that online therapy can be as effective as conventional therapy for treating a variety of mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD, all of which may impact your ability to stay calm in challenging situations.
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