How To Not Be Sad: Coping Skills To Manage Sadness
Though sadness is an entirely normal human emotion, it can be disruptive and difficult to experience; it isn’t a switch you can turn off, and you can’t just choose not to be sad. Sadness and other stress reactions can profoundly impact your life.
Sadness and mental health
Finding ways to process and express your feelings is vital to your overall well-being. Read on to learn more about positive, constructive coping skills and effective ways to control your emotions.
How to not be sad: Coping skills to manage your mood
Sadness, fear, anger, and the full spectrum of emotions are all standard parts of life. You’re likely to experience various mental, emotional, and physical symptoms alongside your feelings. Coping skills are the methods you use to recognize, understand, work through, and release the stress related to your emotions.
Coping skill styles can be described in the following way:
- Problem-Focused: addresses the source
- Emotion-Focused: focuses on the emotions related to the stressor
- Meaning-Focused: finds meaning in the situation
- Support-Seeking: seeks emotional support from loved ones
Managing symptoms of stress and depression
Effectively managing your stressors helps you maintain stable moods and behaviors. You can try many coping skills on your own, but if you’re still struggling to handle your sadness and stress, consider speaking to a therapist for a more intensive look at what’s bothering you and how to process it.
Sadness vs. depression
Along with other basic human emotions, sadness is a typical feeling, and all people experience it throughout their lives. While it’s natural to feel sad in reaction to a situation that causes you pain or emotional distress, how do you know when it escalates to depression? Sadness is temporary and eventually fades. You should feel it for a while, gradually lessening until it disappears. However, depression is a severe mental health condition that can impair function in many areas of your life. Even with treatment, depression could be a lifelong condition, such as cases of neurochemical imbalance.
Coping skills to manage sadness
Emotional control is an incredibly valuable skill for people who prize balance. Coping skills are a crucial facet of emotional control, and they go hand in hand with emotional intelligence and literacy. The combination allows you to recognize, identify, process, and express your feelings effectively.
Keep a journal to track your mood and express your sadness
Many people find writing about their feelings a helpful tactic to channel emotions into something constructive; the act of writing forces you to think about what words to use—which requires examining your feelings. To write about them, you must first take time to recognize and understand what you’re feeling and then find the language to express it.
Prioritize your self-care and mental health
Self-care includes everything you do to preserve your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health, meet your needs, and safeguard your overall well-being. Many struggle to take proper care of themselves because they may feel their needs aren’t as important as others. It’s crucial to remember that you matter, too. When you’re healthy and emotionally stable, you can present the best version of yourself to the people you love.
Remove yourself from the situation and stress
Sometimes, the healthiest way to handle a situation is to leave. Step away to somewhere quiet and take the time necessary to center yourself until you’re better able to face the stressor.
Change your perspective
Work on reframing your thoughts about the stressor to make it easier to identify and process your emotions. Try to find another way to look at the situation more positively, and you may find it easier to discover solutions. For some people, acting is helpful, so examine your stressor, problem-solve a plan, and make the first step.
Look for the silver linings
There can be immense power in positive thinking. You may often be able to find the silver lining in any storm cloud if you look hard enough. Make it a game. Find something obscure but still positive and use it to focus on the good within the bad. Optimism isn’t going to banish your sadness on its own, but it won’t hurt, either. A positive mindset can help you realize and remember that your negative feelings are only temporary, which may make it easier to work through them.
Practice mindfulness for stress
Taking on mindful habits, such as yoga and meditation, often leave you sitting quietly with your thoughts. Use this quiet time to reflect. Acknowledge your experiences and how they make you feel, accept them for what they are, and then let them go without hanging on to the stress.
Don’t use unhealthy coping mechanisms for symptoms of depression
Just because a coping strategy works right now doesn’t mean it is a healthy choice or is reinforcing positive habits. While maladjusted coping skills often temporarily relieve your symptoms, you may end up feeling worse later—and your problems will still be unsolved.
Heavy drinking and substance use may numb your feelings, but they haven’t gone away, and you may have done something you could regret while intoxicated. Other harmful ways to manage stress and sadness include gambling or compulsive spending, which can make you feel on top of the world…until you’re out of money and have to pay the bills. You may also try to avoid the problem by ignoring it, or fixate on the stressor to the exclusion of nearly everything else. Maladjusted coping skills also include impulsive, risky, and self-destructive behaviors.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Find positive coping skills that help you relax
What works best for you isn’t necessarily going to work for someone else. Try lots of things until you find effective strategies. Maybe a bubble bath, massage, or nature walk helps you work through sadness, or perhaps you need a hard workout, a long nap, or time alone. Make time to experiment and find the little things that relax you and bring balance to your life.
Constantly adapt your repertoire of coping skills
As you might imagine, you’re likely to experience many kinds of stressful situations throughout your life. Healthy emotional control is a lifelong journey where the most successful grow, learn, and make mistakes many times along the way.
Seeking support to stop being sad
If you are having trouble managing your sadness and stress on your own, you may benefit from the professional support and guidance of a licensed therapist or mental health practitioner.
Speak to a therapist to learn how to not be sad
Therapy is a proven tool for developing healthy coping skills to help control your emotions. Specifically, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may help you identify harmful or unhealthy behaviors, thought patterns, and attitudes, teaching you to replace them with favorable variations.
Online therapy
A variety of psychotherapy, or talk therapy, treatments have been effective for treating depression, persistent sadness, stress, and similar mental health conditions. Many people find the flexible convenience of online therapy preferable because they can speak to a licensed therapist from the comfort of home. Virtual therapy platforms like BetterHelp can teach you valuable coping skills while identifying the underlying causes of your sadness.
Takeaway
Why do I feel sad for no reason?
Some reasons people may feel sad without an obvious cause include underlying medical conditions, certain medications, chronic stress, mental health conditions (like depression or bipolar disorder), brain chemistry, hormonal fluctuation, chronic pain, or unresolved trauma.
Most people feel sad from time to time, and it’s not necessarily a problem. However, if you routinely get sad for no apparent reason, or if your symptoms cause distress or impairment, it’s a good idea to seek professional help.
How do I stop thinking about sad things?
Some strategies to stop thinking about sad things include:
- Watching a funny video
- Acknowledging your feelings without judgment
- Journaling about it
- Talking through your feelings with someone you trust
- Listening to music that makes you happy
- Releasing endorphins through exercise
- Practicing a grounding technique
- Going for a walk outdoors
How do you stop crying?
Some strategies to stop crying include taking a few deep breaths, using techniques to ground yourself in the present moment, blinking quickly, using distractions (like playing a game or petting a dog), or taking small sips of water.
Am I depressed or just sad?
Sadness is a common emotion that typically goes away on its own and has minimal impact on everyday health. Depression, on the other hand, is a mental health condition that is characterized by symptoms like persistent sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, or loss of interest in activities.
How to have a clear mind?
Some strategies that can help you clear your mind include:
- Deep breathing exercises
- Journaling
- Mindfulness and/or meditation
- Getting enough sleep
- Moving your body
- Acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment
- Reframing automatic thoughts with Socratic questioning
- Focusing on what you can do to improve the situation
If there’s not a clear reason for your overwhelming thoughts, it may be a sign of a mental health disorder like anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Some signs, like overwhelming thoughts that go on for weeks, cause distress to you or those around you, or result in maladaptive coping skills (like social isolation or substance use), may be indicative of an underlying issue.
What can you do to become happier?
Some life changes and strategies that can help promote happiness include:
- Treat yourself the same way you would treat a person you love, practicing positive self-talk and acceptance
- Get regular exercise that you enjoy
- Develop a sleep routine that helps you get enough sleep
- Volunteer or otherwise get more involved in your community
- Cultivate hobbies and activities that interest you
- Think about the big picture at work and how you can serve others
- Practice relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation
- Be there for the people you care about when they need you
- Reach out to a doctor or mental health professional if you’re consistently feeling unhappy
Many assume that happiness is cultivated through self-care practices—like treating yourself to a nice dinner or getting a massage—but research suggests that you can also increase feelings of happiness by seeking meaning, achieving your purpose, and living a more meaningful life (sometimes called “eudaimonIc happiness”).
How to hold back tears?
Here are some strategies to hold back tears:
- Take a deep breath
- Look, listen, and otherwise ground yourself in the senses you’re experiencing in the present moment
- Focus on memories you associate with positive feelings
- Try progressive muscle tensing and relaxation
Many people hold the false belief that suppressing tears is effective at combating sadness. However, research suggests that crying can actually be a vital part of processing emotions and relieving fear, sadness, and anxiety. Regardless, there are still some situations in which you may not want to cry—such as negotiating a deal with your boss or making a statement during a court case—and these tips can help in those situations.
Is sleeping all day depression?
Sleeping all day may be a sign of clinical depression, but it can also be a sign of something else, including thyroid conditions, medication side effects, or a sleep disorder. If it is depression, you’ll likely notice other symptoms too, like:
- A persistent sad mood that goes beyond normal sadness
- Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
- Changes in hunger and eating habits
- Lack of interest in activities that used to bring you joy
- Suicidal thoughts or self-harm
- Physical health effects, such as chronic pain or cardiovascular issues
- Isolating from friends and/or family
If you’re experiencing symptoms that cause you significant distress or impact your daily life, consider getting professional help. Many people’s symptoms are effectively managed with a combination of psychotherapy, medications, and self-care.
How do I stop overthinking?
Here are some lifestyle changes and techniques that can help reduce overthinking:
- When you feel sadness, acknowledge and validate those feelings
- Practice mindfulness and radical self-acceptance
- Get solutions-oriented
- Notice how you experience stress in your body, using exercises such as progressive muscle relaxation or deep belly breathing
- Challenge and reframe self-critical negative thoughts to gain a new perspective
- Establish a healthy bedtime routine to help you get enough sleep
- Spend time with people who make you feel good
- Engage in some fun distractions, like social activities or watching your favorite movie
- Get some exercise that brings you joy, such as going for a walk or lifting weights
Remember that many people overthink from time to time, and it can be a normal part of life, so long as it doesn’t cause you distress or affect your daily life. If you are concerned, it may be a good idea to contact a mental health professional.
Is it better to cry or hold it in?
Crying is a normal reaction to strong emotions. Research suggests that it’s typically better to cry and express sad feelings rather than suppress them. Tears release feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and endogenous opioids (endorphins), which promote a sense of calm, and shedding a few tears can help release emotions and stop feeling sad sooner.
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