How To Grow From The Pain: Healing Your Heart

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW and Majesty Purvis, LCMHC

Updated February 14th, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Emotional pain can be challenging to cope with. If you're experiencing pain in your heart, unrelated to a heart attack, other health concerns, you might not be sure how to proceed. Knowing that emotional pain can lead to both physical and mental health symptoms can be helpful. If you are thinking, “my heart hurts emotionally”, you're not alone in the pain you're feeling.

Certain physical illnesses or circumstances, such as severe allergic reactions or a clog in your coronary arteries due to coronary artery disease, may leave you with heart-related pain. However, this pain is often unrelated to physical illness. Despite the discomfort, extreme grief, sadness, fear, stress, or other feelings can be a cause of physical ailments. In these cases, learning how to control your emotions can be beneficial. Many people also find counseling supportive during these times.

Emotional pain can be severe

Recover and grow with therapy

Does your heart or chest hurt? Physical pain vs. emotional pain

It can be normal to feel hurt when experiencing intense feelings. Studies have found this is a common phenomenon, with many people associating sadness and emotional stress with feeling hurt physically. This pain is temporary for some people and might occur while crying. For others, the physical and mental pain can last longer or hurt throughout the day. Regardless, it is often emotionally related and may not be associated with physical issues such as heart failure, blood clots, or low blood pressure. However, if you are experiencing chest pain and are unsure of the cause, you can talk to your doctor to rule out concerns like a heart attack, heart failure, heart disease, or other heart related health issues. Take note of your symptoms so that you can accurately report them to your doctor to receive a diagnosis.

Why does my heart hurt?

However, if your chest pain is related to emotional distress, you may be experiencing a broken heart. For those who feel this hurt long-term, there may be stress-related physical challenges, such as inflammation, chest pain, headaches, high blood pressure, or chronic pain. Prolonged emotional and physical pain can also be a sign of depression or anxiety, two mental health conditions often accompanying physical symptoms.

As mental and physical health seems to be inextricably connected, it can make sense that when you feel heartache, you may also experience muscle tightness and other stress-induced sensations, such as abnormal stomach activity or an increased heart rate. Emotional reactions are often tied to stress hormones, and this pain involves the same brain regions as physical pain, such as the brain regions of the anterior cingulate cortex and brain stem, potentially explaining why you may experience physical sensations in response to mental pain.

The discomfort of broken heart syndrome

If you’re wondering why your heart hurts emotionally, you may also be facing physical conditions like broken heart syndrome, also known as stress-induced cardiomyopathy. Broken heart syndrome, which can also be referred to as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, can occur in the heart when someone experiences periods of extreme stress. This stress can overwhelm the body and cause heart muscle weakness. Those experiencing broken heart syndrome may feel as though they are having heart attack-like symptoms, often experiencing chest pain and shortness of breath. It's important for patients to talk to their primary care physician about any symptoms they have been experiencing. Heart attacks and other chest issues can require professional medical attention.

How to grow from the pain

Your heart health can be important to maintain. While it can be challenging to experience painful situations, there are ways to learn from these experiences and recover. The following tips may guide you as you learn to cope with your emotions. Note that suppressing emotions can increase physical and emotional challenges, so being open and willing to cope with them is often the healthiest option.

Discover what you can learn from this situation

Discover what you can learn from this painful situation

Many people find themselves in situations that cause heartache at some point in their lives. If you find yourself in this place, consider processing the situation to see what you can learn about yourself or others as you advance.

For example, if a significant other disrespects you, consider what signs you might look out for in your next relationship to avoid these patterns. You can also consider your boundaries with this individual to defend yourself from harm. Emotional pain often teaches lessons and can tell you when you're in an unsafe situation or unhappy. Keep these things in mind as you move forward.

Tap into your support system

If you feel your pain is too much to handle alone, talking with a family member or friend you can trust may be beneficial during stressful situations. Researchers have found that social connection can increase physical and mental health, which may help you relieve your physical symptoms.

When you talk to these people, let them know how you feel and what you need from them. Heartache may be a sign that you need someone to spend time with loved ones to help distract you from sitting in your pain. Your family and friends may also have a unique perspective to support you through this emotionally draining experience. If you do not have a close support system, consider the following options:

Making friends in online support groups
Attending an in-person support group
Joining a club at your university
Attending a meet-up with a group in your town
Going to events in your city and talking to people to make friends
Talking to a therapist

Acknowledge your ability to persevere through pain

There may be times when you feel as if you can't make it past a particular heart pain. In these cases, reflecting on other times you have experienced internal pain and persevered may be beneficial. If you have lived through an experience you weren't sure you could handle, such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one, consider thinking of any newfound strength you could tap into because of this experience. Knowing that you overcame a situation where you hurt intensely and survived can help you build resiliency.

Learn how to grow from the pain

Using coping skills to calm your nervous system and stimulate your vagus nerve can be helpful. You might try yoga or meditation to positively impact the biological pathways underlying internal pain.

Emotional pain can be severe

Recover and grow with therapy

Find your why & help others

When you go through difficult situations, it can open a door for you to help others going through similar experiences. At a certain point in your recovery process, it may help you take a step forward if you take your focus off yourself and use your time and energy to help someone else.

If someone is going through a situation similar to what you have been through, you may be able to empathize with them more than others. You may be able to use your experience to encourage them to continue moving forward as well. Helping others can also give you a sense of purpose, showing you that you make a positive difference in the world.

Seek professional support if you're hurting

It can be easy to feel stuck in this pain. You might struggle to recover and move past it. If you feel trapped in your pain, consider contacting a counselor for further support. A licensed therapist can be a guide as you move through these experiences and teach you to cope with stress-induced physical symptoms and painful feelings. They may offer more insight into the biological pathways involved in this pain, which may help you overcome it more easily. If you feel hesitant to reach out to a therapist in person for any reason or can't afford face-to-face counseling, you might also benefit from online therapy.

Benefits of online therapy for personal growth

Online counseling can make receiving support easier for people experiencing mental pain. Seeing a counselor from home online can make you feel comfortable during challenging moments. In addition, online therapy is often hundreds of dollars cheaper per month. Studies have found it more cost-effective than most forms of face-to-face therapy.

Research in the field of psychology has found online therapy to be an effective alternative to in-person counseling. One study suggested no significant differences between internet-based therapy and the traditional office-based variety in terms of positive client outcomes. To get started, you can complete a brief questionnaire through a platform like BetterHelp to receive support within 48 hours.

Takeaway

Emotional pain can be associated with uncomfortable physical symptoms, and you're not alone if you're experiencing it. Suppose your symptoms aren't disappearing after talking to friends and family, distracting yourself, or offering support to others. In that case, you might also benefit from reaching out to a counselor for further guidance and support.

Frequently asked questions (FAQs)

Below are a few of the most frequently asked questions about growing from heartache.

What is wrong if I'm feeling heart pain?

You may be familiar with a few of the most common causes of heart and chest pain. A few causes of chest pain may be associated with the heart or lungs, like coronary artery disease, mitral valve prolapse, high blood pressure, angina, COPD, cardiac arrest (heart attack), and other physical conditions. Contact your medical doctor immediately if you suspect you are experiencing a physical heart concern.

Heart disease is one of the most prevalent chronic conditions in the world. However, distress from a painful situation can also cause physical symptoms, such as unexplained chest pain, stomach aches, and whole-body aches. Heart pain may not always be a sign of an underlying physical concern, but can represent something emotionally.

Although heart pain may be related to feelings, seek emergency medical attention if you experience new or worsening chest or heart pain along with any of the following:

Discomfort, numbing, prickling, or a burning sensation in the arms, neck, back, or jaw
Cold sweats or dizziness
Rapid breathing or shortness of breath
Pressure, squeezing, or stabbing chest pain that gets worse
Extreme fatigue
Sudden nausea or vomiting
A fever over 101 degrees Fahrenheit

Should I worry if I'm experiencing chest pain?

Although there are many possible causes of chest pain, cardiologists and family physicians recommend not ignoring the pain in or around the chest area. Speak to your medical doctor if you're unsure. However, know that chest pain is often associated with psychological concerns, including panic attacks and some mental health conditions.

How do I stop being in pain?

If your heart is in physical, see a doctor to rule out serious cardiovascular issues. Talking to a licensed therapist may be beneficial if you're in pain. Counseling may help you gain control skills and further understand your body's needs.

Are chest pains normal?

While chest pain may sometimes be related to psychological pain, it can also be a signal for severe health conditions. Contact your primary care physician if you're unsure whether your chest pain is normal or healthy.

Can you feel hurt or physical pain from sadness?

Sadness is a feeling of psychological pain, often due to loss. Sadness may flood your body with hormones like cortisol. Excess stress hormones in the body can cause physical sensations in your heart and nervous system, like chest pain, itching, or a rapid heart rate.

How can I stop internal pain?

Resilience is one way to cope with pain from sadness. One way to reduce this pain could be physical exercise. Studies show that exercise can improve mental health and increase beneficial chemicals in the brain and body that may improve mood. There are many other ways to deal with this pain. Consider painting, singing, drawing, gardening, or trying a new activity you've wanted to try for a long time. Distracting yourself may bring you out of your pain and into the moment.

In addition, try to turn toward your feelings and ask yourself the reason they occur. Label the emotion and ask yourself where you feel it in your body while mindfully focusing on how it feels for you. While you focus on your body, don't judge yourself, and try to focus on the idea that you can move forward. If you struggle with this process, you can also talk to a therapist to learn more about mindfulness, which is a process that has been proven to decrease depression and anxiety levels.

Learn to strengthen your mental health

Connect with a counselor

The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.

Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started

Top categories

See all categories