How Not To Be Nervous: Techniques For The Reduction Of Nervousness
The symptoms of nervousness or anxiety can be uncomfortable and might include sweaty palms, a racing heart rate, and an upset stomach. While some nervousness may be productive and boost performance, experiencing a higher-than-optimal level of nervousness can be detrimental or a symptom of anxiety disorders. To address this, we’ve listed a few steps you can use to learn how to not be nervous in your daily life.
Techniques to overcome nervousness and how not to be anxious
There are many causes for nervousness. For example, perhaps you have a presentation, a significant assessment, a playoff game, or a huge party coming up. When you are having pre-performance nerves before an event, you might be experiencing anticipatory anxiety, which is a fear of what has not yet happened. Anticipatory anxiety often signals a chain reaction in your body's stress response. While this is a normal reaction to have, it can create unpleasant physical side effects like increased blood pressure or sweating.
The reasons behind your nervousness may not be as crucial as the steps you take to control your nervous system. Below are a few techniques for overcoming these nervous feelings.
Exercise as a way to calm nerves and reduce nervousness
When you feel nervous, exercise may help you regain a sense of calm and improve your physical and mental health. Next time you are feeling nervous or afraid, try any of the following activities:
- Going for a walk
- Running or jogging
- Working out at the gym
- Attending a yoga class
- Playing a sport
- Swimming
These activities can help you blow off steam and feel less nervous. If you often feel a sense of worry or nervousness outside specific scenarios, try incorporating physical activity into your schedule. During exercise, you may breathe more deeply, filling your lungs with oxygen and steadying your breath. If you cannot exercise, practicing deep breathing can also be effective.
Take care of your needs and learn how not to be nervous
People may sometimes feel more nervous when they have not attended to certain physical and emotional needs, like getting enough sleep or saying no to another obligation when they are already pressed for time. Identifying areas of your life that need attention, whether focusing on getting proper sleep or setting boundaries, may be worthwhile.
Certain situations or relationships could exist where you feel the other person takes more than they give. Consider limiting your contact or letting them know what you cannot offer in these cases. Add an exercise routine or spend time outdoors to keep your mind busy. Taking the time to prioritize self-care and recognize your personal limits can significantly reduce nervousness in the long run. Devoting attention to acknowledging any emotional concerns (and learning healthy ways to overcome them) can lead you to feel more relaxed at the end of the day.
Use positive visualization
Positive visualization may help you overcome nervousness in several situations, like starting a new job or speaking in front of a crowd. The concept involves closing your eyes and imagining success in the situation you're nervous about. Create vivid images using your imagination while simultaneously trying to incorporate your other senses. What would you see, smell, feel, and hear in this situation?
Before you knowingly go into a situation you expect to make you nervous, it may help you also to imagine the worst scenario and how you'd positively cope with it. You may realize that whatever happens, there is a solution. The anxious brain often focuses on the worst possible scenario. However, situations can have multiple solutions. Recognize that the nerves you feel have started from a thought you are creating about what might or could happen, not necessarily what will occur.
If you're struggling to keep your nervousness in perspective, ask yourself the following questions:
- How much will this matter to me tomorrow?
- How much will this matter to me a year from now?
- What positive opportunities could I still have if this didn't work out?
- What positive traits led me to this opportunity now?
- How can I use those same positive traits to ensure success in the future, regardless of the outcome of today?
Try meditation, mindfulness, or breathing exercises
Breathing exercises and meditation are other effective ways to confront nervousness and help you feel calmer and more grounded.
One such exercise is to find a quiet, comfortable place to sit. Close your eyes to start. Pay attention to what you feel in your body and start tuning into your breath, gently bringing your focus back if your mind wanders. It can be natural for the mind to wander, so notice your thoughts without judgment and bring your attention back to the sensation of air flowing in and out of your lungs through your nose.
Taking a few full, slow breaths in and out can also help you stay calm when your blood pressure rises. It may also be beneficial to take deep breaths before participating in an activity that makes you nervous.
Grow your self-confidence
If you experience anxiety related to social events or performing in public, you might be experiencing challenges with self-confidence. You may feel inadequate getting along with others, delivering a speech, participating in a job interview, or any other potentially tense social experience. It can also be common to feel worried that anxiety may cause you to act in a way that would be inappropriate in public, even if you wouldn't act that way due to your morals.
Often, if you feel well-equipped to handle the situation and use positive self-talk, it can help reduce your nervousness. One way to become more self-confident is by giving yourself a pep talk, during which you remind yourself of your unique strengths and abilities instead of comparing yourself to others. You can also try reciting positive affirmations each morning.
In addition, try to remind yourself that no one knows what you are thinking and feeling from looking at you. They might not notice you're nervous unless you let them know. The feeling that you are doing something wrong and everyone is looking at you is called the "fishbowl" phenomenon. You may have thoughts like, "Everyone will know I am nervous," or "People will see that I am not prepared." However, others might not be as preoccupied with your body language, inner emotions, and perception as you are. They could be feeling nervous about themselves as well.
Practice
If you are nervous about speaking at a wedding, pitching an idea to your boss, or performing a skill-based activity, practice! Ensuring you are well prepared may help you feel calm and confident going into the activity. You can give yourself as much time as you need before the event to practice, and some people may find practicing in front of a friend or family helpful.
Talk to a counselor
A counselor can help you pinpoint the source of your nervousness and guide you toward a healthier perspective. They may suggest alternative ways to mitigate your nervousness or help you realize your thoughts that may contribute to anxiety. If you feel nervous about seeing a counselor in person, you might also try online therapy.
Online therapy for support with nervousness
Online counseling services like BetterHelp are alternatives to face-to-face counseling for people who prefer the idea of chatting with a licensed professional through the Internet in a safe environment. The ability to schedule appointments from your comfort zone (your house, your parked car, etc.) can mean you may avoid potential inciting events that could cause anxiety, like traffic, dense crowds, or the prospect of being late for an appointment.
Research also highlights the efficacy of online therapy in helping people overcome their nervousness or anxiety. In one study, clinicians utilized an online acceptance-based behavior therapy model to treat 14 adults diagnosed with generalized social anxiety disorder. Results showed improvements in social anxiety symptoms and overall quality of life.
Takeaway
How can I stop being nervous and find a way to calm my nerves?
There are many strategies that can help calm down your nervous system when you feel nervous. Examples of relaxation techniques include:
- Practice deep breathing exercises
- Reduce caffeine consumption
- Get gentle exercise
- Walk around in nature
- Admit you’re nervous instead of denying it
- Listen to comforting music
Nervousness can sometimes be a sign of an underlying disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, or major depressive disorder. If your nervousness is causing you distress, harming your relationships, or interfering with your daily life, it may be time to work with a therapist.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule is a mindfulness strategy often recommended by mental health professionals for children and adults alike.
Here’s how you can practice this approach
- Name three things you see around you.
- Name three sounds you hear, such as an AC unit, wind in the trees, or a neighbor’s dog barking.
- Touching three things around you (or move three parts of your body). Notice how these objects feel when you touch them, or how your limbs feel as you move them.
The 3-3-3 rule is an approachable strategy that can help ground you in the present moment. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or nervous, try this exercise to see if it helps you.
Why do I get nervous so easily and how not to be nervous in stressful situations?
Nervousness is a common stress response that might result in symptoms like excessive sweating, dry mouth, dizziness, stumbling words, or self-doubt. Oftentimes, nervousness develops in the face of a tight deadline, overwhelming workload, performance/exam, uncomfortable social situation, or any other stressor.
Learning relaxation techniques and practicing mindfulness can help you manage these stressful situations and reduce nervousness. While nervousness can be uncomfortable, it typically goes away after the stressor goes away. If your nervousness does not dissipate or is disproportionate to the situation, it may be a symptom of anxiety.
How can you relieve anxiety?
Anxiety can often be effectively alleviated with a combination these approaches:
- Psychotherapy (talk therapy)
- Psychiatric medications
- Mindfulness, meditation, and/or deep-breathing exercises
- Lifestyle modifications, like getting routine exercise, enough sleep, and consuming a nutritious diet
- Journaling
- Support groups
- Strengthening social relationships
How can you calm your mind?
If you are experiencing overwhelming thoughts and difficulty relaxing, it may be helpful to try a few calming strategies. While they likely will not eliminate your stress, they can help you manage and respond to stressful situations more effectively:
- Try the 4-7-8 breathing exercise: Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for seven, and exhale for eight seconds.
- Rhythmic tapping: Cross your hands over your chest with your palms against your lungs. Interlock your thumbs and alternate tapping your fingers to your chest with every breath. This exercise uses bilateral stimulation (like EMDR), which can help you stay present and reduce anxiety.
- Treat yourself like someone you love: During periods of heightened stress and anxiety, many people engage in negative self-talk, which can exacerbate the problem. Instead, practice offering yourself kindness and compassion during difficult moments.
Other strategies to calm the mind include practicing yoga, getting routine exercise, spending time outdoors, turning to friends/family for social support, reading a peaceful book, or extending kindness towards the people in your life.
How do you remain calm?
Daily stressors—like work, finances, traffic, retirement, family problems, household responsibilities, illnesses, and caregiving—can lead many people to chronic stress and anxiety. In turn, it’s common for people to utilize unhealthy coping skills, like avoidance, substance use, or comforting foods, to manage their symptoms in the short-term.
Incorporating healthy coping skills into your life can help build your resilience in the face of stressors, and lead to benefits for your physical and mental health. These include:
- Share your feelings with close friends, family, a therapist, and/or your journal
- Learn how to set boundaries and say “no” sometimes
- Carve out time for things you enjoy, like gardening, walking the dog, group exercise classes, or cooking
- Keep a worry journal to track your symptoms and when they occur
- Use techniques like deep breathing exercises, visualization/guided imagery, mindfulness practices (such as the “3-3-3 rule for anxiety”)
- Practice morning or evening yoga
- Put down electronics before starting your bedtime routine
- Join a support group or talk to a therapist
- Plan for your next vacation
- Read a book at your local park
How do I train my brain to stop anxiety?
The brain exhibits neuroplasticity, meaning it can be rewired with new neural pathways. When certain strategies and exercises are done repeatedly, you can help your brain adapt and reduce stress and anxiety in the long-term.
When you encounter and react to triggers, over time, you can unintentionally condition yourself to be more reactive to certain stimuli. These strategies can help you rework your neural pathways to reduce stress reactivity:
- Acknowledge your anxiety and create a plan to help you navigate the situation. For example, you might say to yourself, “I feel anxious about public speaking, but I know I can do this. I’ll look above the crowd to make it less nerve wracking.”
- Challenge your thoughts, asking yourself if they’re representative of reality or distorted. Looking for evidence that proves or disproves your thoughts is a central concept in cognitive behavioral therapy.
- Take on challenges that help you build tolerance to stress and triggers. For example, if you’re afraid of social situations, you might start by challenging yourself to have a two-minute conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop.
How do you stop anxious thoughts?
Some strategies that can help calm anxious thoughts include:
- Acknowledge when you’re feeling anxious
- Deep breathing exercises
- Positive self-talk
- Remember the bigger picture
- Talk to loved ones about how you’re feeling
- Practice mindfulness
If these strategies aren’t helping you manage your anxiety, it may be time to reach out to a licensed therapist and/or medical practitioner.
How do I win against my anxiety?
While it likely isn’t possible to eliminate anxiety, there are strategies that can help you manage it. Many people find that getting enough sleep, limiting alcohol consumption, staying physically active, setting healthy boundaries, meditating, and staying connected to friends and family helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
What to drink to calm nerves?
Some people advocate for drinking chamomile tea or green tea containing L-theanine (a naturally-occurring compound in tea known to induce relaxation). In contrast, drinks containing large amounts of caffeine can increase nervousness, and should generally be limited. Additionally, while alcohol may temporarily cause relaxation, it can increase anxiety in the long-term.
- Previous Article
- Next Article