Understanding How To Get Your Friend To Like You: Exploring Different Kinds Of Love

Familial connections are often one of the most well-known social bonds. In some cases, friendships may have the potential to be as close as or closer than family relationships. To understand these connections, it may be helpful to look at what it means when friends are like family, the potential importance of maintaining close friendships, and several strategies to nourish your close connections. 

Friends like family: Exploring different types of love

Having friends who seem like family may not be unhealthy. Being so close to your friends that you consider them family may be a sign of the strength of the friendship. 

Understanding how to get your friend to like you: The nature of friendship and love

Several schools of thought throughout history have suggested that friendship may involve its own form of love, the same way familial or romantic relationships may be considered different forms of love. For instance, ancient Greek philosophy categorized love into several broad types, including: 

• Agape: Spiritual love
• Eros: Romantic or passionate love
• Storge: Love between individuals in the family
• Philia: Love between friends

This framework is one possible way to think about love, and there may not be a universal way of categorizing it. However, the fact that frameworks exist may illustrate that friendships can be as strong or as close as family bonds for some people. Some people who feel this way about their friends may categorize their friendships as “chosen family,” which means the family you’re not related to but have chosen to have in your life.  

It can be possible to feel equally strong connections to friends and family. For some individuals, relationships with friends may replace relationships with family, which are no less valid than familial relationships. 

The importance of close friendships

Being so close to your friends that they seem like family may involve mental and emotional health benefits. For instance, a 2023 systematic review found that friendship quality and socializing with friends predict well-being among adults, emphasizing factors like efforts to maintain the friendship, a belief that one matters, and connection.  

A 2019 study found that positive social relationships and social support may be linked to positive self-esteem. In addition, a 2018 study concluded that “friendship, in terms of intensity (measured by the frequency with which individuals see their friends) and quality (measured by the satisfaction with friendship relationships),” was positively associated with life satisfaction. 

These findings, among others, may illustrate the benefits of having close friends on mental health and overall well-being. 

Tips on how to get your friend to like you

Given the potential mental and emotional benefits of close social friendships, fostering closer friendships in your own life may be beneficial. The following strategies may offer guidance if you’d like to reconnect with an old friend or are interested in nurturing an existing friendship. 

Emphasize activities

Having activities with friends may help you connect over the same interests and exploration. For example, you might consider trying new hobbies with your friends, attending classes together, or working on projects. These bonding opportunities may strengthen your existing relationship. 

Seek and offer emotional support

One factor that may influence the closeness of relationships is the ability to rely on one another for social and emotional support. Consider whether you are comfortable opening up to your friend about challenges or stressors and whether your friend feels safe to seek support or advice from you. Connecting over these moments of vulnerability may foster a dynamic of safety and trust. 

Practice healthy communication

Practicing healthy communication strategies may be a helpful way to strengthen social connections and address challenges in friendships as they emerge. Practices like active listening, asking questions, and being honest about feelings—positive or negative—may also help you develop trust in your friend and manage conflicts constructively. 

Make connecting a routine

For some, seeing and socializing with friends may be more sporadic. However, it may be easier to foster long-lasting relationships by making spending time with friends into a consistent habit. Making this behavior a routine could involve having weekly coffee, attending classes together, or talking regularly on the phone. 

Explore relationships with friends and family with a professional

Connect with a licensed counselor

Reach out for support 

Navigating the nuances of close friendships may be challenging in some circumstances. Conflicts may arise occasionally, and even close friends may not see eye to eye on every topic. Furthermore, certain mental illnesses like depression and anxiety may have the potential to add stress or strain to friendships. Counseling may be a helpful resource for those interested in exploring these challenges. A licensed therapist can provide a safe space to explore friendship dynamics while tending to one’s mental health and well-being. 

However, in-person therapy may not be available for each client. Attending face-to-face counseling may be challenging for those without insurance or whose insurance doesn’t cover therapy, as a single weekly session could cost $100 to $300. Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be more affordable, as prices can begin at $65 to $100 per week (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply). In addition, clients can send messages to a counselor at any time—including outside of scheduled sessions. 

Online therapy’s effectiveness has been studied in addressing various mental health concerns, which may be relevant to friendships. For example, a meta-analysis from 2017 found that online therapy showed similar effectiveness to in-person therapy in treating depressive symptoms, symptoms of social anxiety disorder, and other mental health conditions.