How Adult Children Transition To Changing Dynamics With Aging Parents

As of 2022, it’s reported that more than half of US adults act as caregivers to someone over age 65—usually their own parent(s). As the aging population grows, more people may find themselves caring for a parent or at least playing a role in their care. It can seem daunting to figure out how to manage your parents’ well-being as they get older, but there are some strategies you can use to make this period of life easier for you and them.

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Understanding the key needs of aging parents

Anticipating the evolving needs of your aging parent(s) is often an important first step. The needs of older adults can typically be broken down into four key categories.

Healthcare management

As people get older, certain physical health concerns may become more significant priorities, such as mobility, metabolic health, bone health, and nutrition. Supporting the health of an aging parent may involve things like helping with meal preparation, encouraging regular physical exercise, managing doctor’s appointments and medications, and taking steps to prevent falls and injuries.

Mental health support

Aging can pose challenges for mental health as well, ranging from memory issues to loneliness to illnesses like depression and anxiety. To help prevent these, it can be important for aging adults to focus on self-care, such as personal hygiene, journaling, and mindfulness. Maintaining strong social relationships with friends and loved ones can also support mental health, as can engaging in enjoyable hobbies and learning effective ways to manage stress.

Financial planning

Ensuring your parents have their finances in order is another common component of caring for them as they age. You might help them budget for retirement, review wills and beneficiaries, and manage healthcare and government benefits like social security. 

Daily living assistance from children

Part of aging is usually adapting to various changes in terms of a person’s daily routines and how well they’re able to care for their basic needs. Helping your parent with daily living assistance could look like arranging or providing transportation, ensuring a safe living environment, helping with bathing, cooking, and/or cleaning, and setting up daily and/or weekly schedules to ensure their needs are met.

Caring for aging parents: Practical strategies

Adjusting to the new and emerging needs of your aging parent(s) can seem daunting. As you navigate the challenges of this phase of life, the following tips may be helpful.

Communicate openly as part of the changing dynamics with aging parents

While this might not be an easy conversation, being proactive can help ensure a smooth transition and prevent problems down the line. 

Conversations about aging can be hard, but ignoring the topic may cause more issues. Encourage your parents to share their concerns openly and honestly. Practice active listening, and don’t hesitate to voice your own worries respectfully and empathetically as well. 

Decide on family living arrangements

It can be helpful to decide early on what kind of living arrangement you and your parents will have as they age. Will they move in with you? Will you come to visit them? If not, what tasks will you help with? The more details you iron out in advance, the easier the transition may be. Keeping an open dialogue as their needs evolve can be paramount as well.

Encourage your aging parent to take up healthy habits

Keeping up with healthy habits can help your parent (s) maintain a good quality of life and avoid certain health problems, which can benefit you as well. For example, helping them sign up for social activities and events can ensure they stay mentally active and avoid loneliness and isolation. You might also support them in cultivating a healthy exercise routine, like taking walks together or helping them join a gym.

Transition their living space

Whether your parents are living alone or with you, it can be worth making some modifications to their living space to prevent falls and other accidents. For example, you might consider installing railings, keeping walkways clear, and putting items in places that are easy to reach. Anti-slip mats, night lights, and regular health checkups may also help prevent falls.

Consider outside services

While some people may be unable to bring in outside help, it can be worth exploring if you can afford it. This doesn’t have to mean hiring a live-in caretaker, either; even arranging weekly housekeeping or grocery deliveries may help reduce stress for both you and your parents. 

Be proactive

It can be valuable to stay on top of legal documents and related logistics as your parents age. Consider having a conversation with them about creating a will, assigning power of attorney, and documenting their wishes for end-of-life care, which may help prevent complications and additional stress later. 

Create a routine

If your parent (s) won’t be living with you, deciding which days and times you’ll come over to help them can give your relationship and their life more structure. If they do move in with you, try to find a routine that lets them have autonomy. Designing a consistent weekly schedule to this end can benefit everyone’s well-being. 

Get support in navigating family dynamics

Reach out to a therapist online

Take care of your own mental health

According to the American Psychological Association, caregivers are at a higher risk of certain mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. Whether or not your parents are living with you, it can be important to look after yourself by practicing self-care and seeking help if you need it. 

Therapy can be a valuable resource for managing the stress of caregiving and the mixed emotions that may come with it. However, if you’re juggling the responsibilities of caring for a family member and keeping up with other parts of your life at the same time, it can be hard to make time to see a therapist in person. Online therapy can be a more convenient alternative in cases like these. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can virtually attend sessions with a licensed therapist without leaving the house.

Studies indicate that online therapy can be an effective treatment for mental health concerns that are common among caregivers. For example, consider a 2020 review on the topic of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The findings suggest that this type of online therapy may effectively reduce symptoms of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and more.