How To Not Care About Anything And Disregard Everything

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW and Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC
Updated October 10, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that could be triggering to the reader. Please see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

In the modern age, many people experience some form of stress. If you’ve found yourself feeling overwhelmed with life, mindfulness may be the answer. Mindfulness typically refers to focusing on the present moment. You might try mindfulness meditation, practice yoga or tai chi, focus on one thing at a time, and release the desire for control as part of your mindfulness practice. Other ways to practice mindfulness can include mixing up your daily routine, pausing before you act, and practicing active listening. For additional help with mindfulness, it can be beneficial to work with a therapist who incorporates elements of mindfulness. It can be easy to connect with a licensed mental health professional who can meet your needs by joining an online therapy platform.

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Mindfulness can help you improve your outlook

What is mindfulness?

As the pace of life gets faster, anxiety and stress can increase. Often, we focus too much on things that may not really matter or worry about things that are out of our control. Mindfulness can help you compartmentalize the various parts of your life to reduce stress and anxiety. 

In general, mindfulness refers to the practice of bringing one's attention to experiences, sensations, thoughts, and feelings occurring in the present moment. It can help you cultivate a sense of peace and learn how not to care as much about the things that cause you stress.

Using mindfulness to release stress and promote nonchalance

Mindfulness can recenter you and help you let go of the things that may not be important. It can be a valuable tool for improving happiness, energy levels, and creativity. Here are some ways you may use mindfulness to your advantage.

Observe daily life with detachment

The practice of mindfulness can involve simple observations in daily life, such as becoming aware of your thoughts, habits, or small tasks we tend to take for granted, such as chewing food, brushing your teeth, or walking. 

Practice mindful activities and learn how to not care about anything

Other organized activities that are generally designed to cultivate mindfulness in your daily life can include meditation, yoga, qi gong, or tai chi. 

Focus on one thing at a time and disregard other things

Mindfulness can also be cultivated by doing one thing at a time rather than multitasking. Many of us are taught and even encouraged to multitask to get more done, but this can lead to splitting our attention, which can contribute to a lack of focus and increased mistakes. 

Observe your automatic thoughts with indifference

Most of what we do throughout the day can become habitual and automatic, which may mean that we are not truly present or conscious while we go about our day. Mindfulness can be as simple as beginning to observe our automatic thoughts, which are often negative thought loops just below our conscious threshold, such as "I never do anything right," or "I am not good enough." By becoming aware of negative thoughts, we may gain the freedom and power of choice to challenge and replace these thoughts.

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Let go of the desire for control for more nonchalance

While many activities we engage in on a day-to-day basis encourage focus, productive activity, and sustained effort, few endeavors may encourage us to surrender and let go. Learning to slow down and awaken into the present moment can require you to relinquish the desire for control. Letting go does not necessarily mean that you feel nothing and don't care about anything at all. The opposite may be true. 

By letting go of the desire to control and embracing the present, we often begin to become more aware of our emotions, sensations, and thoughts. In fact, we may become more in touch with what our thoughts and emotions are telling us because we are willing to listen rather than block or repress this information.

Find balance between the present and future

This doesn't always mean that you shouldn’t plan for the future or focus on goals. Instead, it may mean that you can regain perspective and balance planning for the future with a sense of presence and mindfulness in the moment. 

When we focus all our energy on planning for the future while neglecting what is happening in the here and now, we may be more likely to get into accidents, become ill, or make mistakes. We may neglect what is needed in the present. Sometimes, what we may need most is to step back, breathe, and ask ourselves if what we are worried about is within our control, and if not, practice letting it go.

Be aware of things outside your control and practice apathy for them

What are some things that are outside of your control?

  • Other people's thoughts, feelings, and actions
  • Unexpected health problems or accidents
  • The passing of time and aging

We may not have control over some of the things that happen to us, but we often have the freedom to choose our own actions and reactions. You may not be able to stop yourself from ever getting sick, but you can try to learn from experiences and do your best to make healthy choices. 

In fact, challenging situations can be some of the most valuable learning experiences. It can be difficult to see this amid struggles, but in hindsight and with the gift of perspective, we can usually appreciate this.

Try meditation for a state of unconcern or aloofness

One type of mindfulness exercise is usually known as meditation, which is generally believed to have been practiced for thousands of years. Below is one of the simplest forms of meditation.

  • Sit in a quiet place on a chair, cushion, floor, or somewhere in nature. You can also try meditating while lying down.
  • Close or relax your eyes and bring your awareness to your body.
  • Breathe at a normal, relaxed pace, and gradually deepen your breath, lengthening each inhalation and exhalation.
  • Notice the rhythmic nature of your breath. Your mind will usually wander off to different thoughts, which can be normal. As your thoughts arise, try to move into a state of observation, where you begin to watch each thought as if you are observing clouds passing in front of you. If you become distracted, bring your awareness back to your breath.
  • For beginners, it is usually recommended to meditate for 15 to 20 minutes at a time.
  • If you have PTSD, trauma, hallucinations, psychosis, or another mental health diagnosis, please consult with your mental health provider before attempting meditation on your own.

If you experience flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or increased feelings of anxiety or panic when you try meditation, it can be best to wait to practice with the aid of a professional.

Little ways to practice mindfulness

A major roadblock that some people experience when practicing mindfulness can be that they make it into a big production, but it doesn't have to be. Mindfulness can be practiced in small ways and at any time. Here are some little ways to integrate mindfulness into your everyday life.

Change up your routine

Doing things differently than normal can make you more aware, potentially allowing you to fully experience the present. Try to do something different (even if it's simply visiting a new coffee shop on the way to work) to bring yourself back to the present moment.

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Mindfulness can help you improve your outlook

Observe your breath

The simple act of paying attention as you breathe in and out can calm your mind. Take a few minutes to focus on the natural rhythm of your breath to recenter yourself when things start to seem stressful.

Pause before you act

Before you do anything, take a second to fully experience the present moment. Taking the time to observe the way things feel in your hand, the different sounds you hear in the day, etc., can help you clear your mind and give you energy and creativity.

Listen fully

Be present and listen fully to what is being said to you rather than thinking preemptively about what you are going to say next or as a rebuttal. Fully listening often allows you to be present in the conversation and actually understand and acknowledge what the other person is saying to you.

Get professional help

Mindfulness can be included by many therapists as part of psychotherapy, particularly with a popular form of therapy known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help people with many types of mental health concerns, including depression and anxiety. 

Benefits of online therapy

Turning to an online therapist for mindfulness help can be a great way to take multiple steps forward at once. For example, you may feel more capable of focusing on mindfulness in the comfort of your own space. Allowing yourself the dedicated time of your therapy sessions to continue on your mindfulness journey can push you forward in your other mental health goals as well. In addition, online therapists are licensed professionals who can often help you at a lower cost than traditional in-office therapists.

Effectiveness of online therapy

One randomized trial with almost 500 participants found that “those who received an online version of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy in addition to usual care had greater reductions in depressive and anxiety symptoms, higher rates of remission, and higher levels of quality of life compared with participants who received usual care only.” 

"Very responsive, nice calm voice, empathizes with you about feelings and offers solutions or talks about why this feeling is occurring and how to resolve."
— BetterHelp member’s review of their therapist

Takeaway

Mindfulness can be thought of as a practice, not an end goal. By learning to pause and take a deep breath, you can learn to slow your thoughts, let go, and move through life with a sense of presence and awareness. You can incorporate mindfulness into your daily life by focusing on your breath, doing mindfulness meditation, trying yoga, and observing your automatic thoughts. Working with a therapist in person or online to increase mindfulness and decrease stress levels can also be helpful.
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