How To Find A Lesbian Therapist

Being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community often brings unique challenges and experiences. While mental health conditions exist across the entire sexual orientation spectrum, many queer people prefer working with therapists who are personally familiar with the experience of being LGBTQIA+. Whether it's coming out, living in a non-affirming environment, or trying to navigate multiple roles and identities, lesbian therapists may help their clients feel comfortable discussing these challenges. 

If you're hoping to find a therapist who identifies as queer, keep reading to get more information about finding a lesbian therapist who meets your needs and preferences.

Understanding your unique challenges 

If you identify as lesbian or are interested in exploring that identity, you might have experienced a period of trying to sort out and reconcile feelings that may or may not be acceptable in your environment. You may live in an accepting, embracing community or one where you've had to hide your identity or feelings from friends and family.

As noted in Focus: The Journal of Lifelong Learning in Psychiatry, coming out can be seen as "a ritual process of passage requiring a lesbian, gay, or bisexual person to unlearn principles of essentialist heterosexuality, unlearn stereotypes of homosexuality, and learn the ways of LGBT culture." The process of coming out— to whom, when, and how, can be a continual process, depending on the situation. 

Mental health concerns 

LGBTQIA+ are diverse, spanning a range of socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, cultural, and religious backgrounds and other identity markers. As a result, some queer individuals may experience the added stress of members belonging to a stigmatized minority group, known as multiple minority stress. 

Younger community also often face unique challenges and higher rates of mental health conditions than their heteronormative peers. This may partly be due to LGBTQIA+ youth being more vulnerable to bullying and other stressors at school or home. 

Mental health concerns often arise in the context of stigma or lack of empathy and understanding. The toll of having to face prejudice and bias is seen as one of the main factors affecting one's wellness and mental health, as well as the internalized feelings of shame, hurt, and hopelessness that can result from encountering a less-than-welcoming world. Specialists call it "minority stress," a context in which many people start to regard themselves unfavorably, thinking they may be somehow flawed or unlovable for encountering continual challenges. 

A safe, comfortable space

Most people who seek therapy expect a safe space where they can speak freely about their experiences, concerns, and symptoms. Ultimately, your rapport and comfort level with your therapist can be key to making progress, as you need to be able to trust them. It's also reasonable to wonder if a therapist who has elements of your identity may be beneficial. If you felt uncomfortable or disrespected by heterosexual therapists before, seeking a queer therapist may seem like a logical next step. 

While a sense of safety and connection may occur regardless of sexual orientation and gender identification, it's understandable to want to talk to someone to whom you can relate or tell an important part of who you are. As well as gender and sexuality matters, some people would rather tell their experience with therapists with a similar cultural, ethnic, racial, or religious background. For example, a person may wish to see a therapist who is both queer and Asian, preferring someone who checks both boxes. 

The pros of seeing a therapist who also identifies as queer may include:

• You may not have to explain some things, as there might be commonalities in your experiences.
• Your therapist may be already attuned to some of your concerns.
• The therapist might be able to help you navigate some challenges they've also had to face by offering their first-hand perspective.
• You may feel more comfortable speaking to them from the start.
• They may know about resources, events, and organizations that may interest you.

As an alternative, many licensed therapists, who may or may not be queer, provide LGBTQIA+-specific therapy. As well as specializing in sexual orientations, gender identities, and expressions across the spectrum of identification, these therapists are also well-versed in challenges involving queer identity and can recognize and address the impact of discrimination and bias concerning mental health. They can help you navigate relationship issues, trauma, emotional distress, and other concerns that may accompany minority stress.

Other concerns you may have

Depending on the issues you may be facing, seeing a therapist who also specializes in that area might also be helpful. For example, if you're living with an eating disorder or substance use challenges, you may want to select someone with a background in addressing these concerns. 

Depending on where you live, distance and availability may also weigh in when seeking in-person therapy. The same applies to health insurance or pricing concerns. However, options for sliding-scale in-person therapy and affordable online therapy e may also be available.  

Ways to find a lesbian therapist

To find a therapist who identifies as lesbian, queer, or LGBTQIA+-affirming, you can try the following:

• Local LGBTQIA+ mental health guilds in your area. While these may not be available in many places, some states and cities outside hubs like New York City, Los Angeles, and San Francisco have one, such as Kansas City's The LGBT-Affirmative Therapists Guild and The LGBTQ-Affirmative Psychotherapist Guild of Utah.
• Local LGBTQ+ centers may have therapists available, such as The Center in Nevada; there are centers all over the country that may help connect you with a therapist. CenterLink also offers a way to locate individual LGBTQIA+ centers around the country, and you can use a search tool to find one in your local area.
• Consider online therapy. Pride Counseling, for example, is rated by Forbes Health as one of the leading online LGBTQIA+ therapy options. Another option is online therapy through BetterHelp, which owns Pride Counseling. Both sites offer the option of matching with a therapist who identifies as queer.
• Non-profit organizations in your area servicing the LGBTQIA+ community
• A licensed therapist in your area who says they provide LGBTQIA+ or LGBTQIA+-affirmative counseling

Questions to ask a potential therapist

You may also want to ask a potential therapist some questions to help determine if they're the right fit for you. Some examples include:

• Are you a licensed therapist?
• What's your approach to working with LGBTQIA+ individuals?
• Do you see individuals, couples, or families?
• What mental health conditions and issues do you specialize in, and what's your experience working with people facing challenges like mine?
• What approach(es) do you use in your practice?
• What is your training and education?
• What are your payment options? Do you accept insurance, offer sliding-scale payment options, or work through a subscription program?

When considering therapy options

Online therapy, such as that offered by BetterHelp, offers a way to connect with a licensed therapist who identifies as lesbian or LGBTQIA+ and/or offers LGBTQIA+-affirmative therapy. This can be beneficial if you live in a remote area that doesn't have LGBTQIA+-affirmative therapists.

Studies show that online cognitive-behavioral therapy is just as effective as in person-therapy. Linked with significantly reducing symptoms of stress, depression, and anxiety, online CBT can be a viable option for many people, including people of the LGBTQIA+ community. CBT focuses on recognizing and changing one's unhelpful thoughts to promote more positive thinking patterns and behavior. Other therapy approaches can also be conducted online, depending on one's preferences.