15 Best Intimacy Quotes To Improve Any Relationship
The American Psychological Association defines intimacy as “an interpersonal state of extreme emotional closeness such that each party’s personal space can be entered by any of the other parties without causing discomfort to that person.”
This type of connection can vary depending on the nature of a relationship and the people involved. People can develop intimacy in romantic relationships, platonic relationships, or even with themselves through practices like self-compassion, meditation, or therapy.
Below, we’ll look at 15 quotes that explore intimacy and other emotions surrounding it.
Not sure you're comfortable discussing emotions?
Quotes about intimacy
"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others." -Jane Austen
"The real heroes anyway aren't the people doing things; the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention." -John Green
"True intimacy is a human constant. People of all types find it equally hard to achieve, and equally precious to hold. Age, education, and social status make little difference here; even genius does not presuppose the talent to reveal one's self completely and completely absorb one's self in another personality. Intimacy is to love what concentration is to work: a simultaneous drawing together to attention and release of energy." -Robert Grudin
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” –Maya Angelou
“If you age with somebody, you go through so many roles—you’re lovers, friends, enemies, colleagues, strangers; you’re brother and sister. That’s what intimacy is if you’re with your soulmate.” –Cate Blanchett
"The trick... is to find the balance between the bright colors of humor and the serious issues of identity, self-loathing, and the possibility for intimacy and love when it seems no longer possible or, sadder yet, no longer necessary." -Wendy Wasserstein
"Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still." -Robert Sternberg
"The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible." -Carolyn Heilbrun
"Intimacy requires courage because risk is inescapable. We cannot know at the outset how the relationship will affect us. Like a chemical mixture, if one of us is changed, both of us will be. Will we grow in self-actualization, or will it destroy us? The one thing we can be certain of is that if we let ourselves fully into the relationship for good or evil, we will not come out unaffected.” -Rollo May
"This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark." -Elizabeth Gilbert
“Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.” -Frida Kahlo
"I feel like we're all here on this planet, and intimacy is important. I can't bear small talk. It's awful. I want to get beyond that thing of discussing how the weather is a bit better today than it was yesterday, and how this is a nice restaurant. I want to get to what are the problems, and what's really going on. Are you in love? Are you in a lot of pain? What's really going on in your life? I'm interested in that area, whether it's on stage or in real life." -Simon Amstell
"And when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment…" -Plato
"They spent their time doing nothing… they let intimacy fuse them." -Jean Genet
“True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.” -Michael Bassey Johnson
“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that's ok with them.” -Alain de Botton
"Never are voices so beautiful as on a winter's evening, when dusk almost hides the body, and they seem to issue from nothingness with a note of intimacy seldom heard by day." -Virginia Woolf
Bonus quotes about intimate relationships
“The deepest moments of intimacy occur when you’re not talking.” -Patricia Love
“Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give; unconsciously, if not consciously, they feel this and the resulting disappointment inclines them towards envy, oppression, and cruelty.” -Bertrand Russell
“Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.” -Harriet Lerner
“The need for love and intimacy is a fundamental human need, as primal as the need for food, water, and air.” -Dean Ornish
“Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply; you feel like you can see into their soul.” -Reshall Varsos
“To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy altogether.” -Farraz Kazi
“A loving touch can heal wounds and nurture intimacy.” -Unknown
“Physical intimacy isn’t and can never be an effective substitute for emotional intimacy.” -John Green
“If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend.” -Henri Nouwen
“Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved.” -John O’Donohue
“Intimacy transcends the physical. It is a feeling of closeness that isn’t about proximity but of belonging. It is a beautiful emotional space in which two become one.” -Steve Maraboli
“You can’t find intimacy—you can’t find home—when you’re always hiding behind masks. Intimacy requires a certain level of vulnerability. It requires a certain level of you exposing your fragmented, contradictory self to someone else. You running the risk of having your core self rejected and hurt and misunderstood.” -Junot Díaz
“Intimacy is “into-me-see.” I am going to talk to you, my beloved, and I am going to share with you my most prized possessions, which are no longer my dowry and the fruit of my womb but my hopes, my aspirations, my fears, my longings, my feelings—in other words, my inner life. And you, my beloved, will give me eye contact. No scrolling while I bare my soul. I need to feel your empathy and validation. My significance depends on it.” -Esther Perel
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” -Ann Landers
“Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive. At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to safeguard ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth or to hide. To dive into life or to avoid it. Intimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth at that moment.” -Geneen Roth
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” -John Joseph Powell
“Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.” -Amy Bloom
“A gentle touch can convey more intimacy than a thousand words.” -Unknown
Achieving intimacy
Many people think that becoming truly close with someone else or even understanding yourself deeply takes a long time. However, growing close can happen at different speeds for different people.
For example, some may explain intimacy as striving to deeply understand a person and their experiences, feelings, and disposition. Others might see it as taking a genuine interest in someone without needing something in return, and others still might say it's an irreplaceable bond of understanding where two people can release their inner demons and not fear judgment.
Discussing intimacy with a therapist
If you'd like to further explore your understanding of intimacy or an intimate relationship you have, it may help to speak with a licensed therapist. If you don’t feel comfortable with traditional in-office therapy at this time, you might consider online therapy, which numerous peer-reviewed studies have demonstrated to be effective.
With online therapy, you can communicate with a licensed therapist in a way that’s most comfortable for you, whether by audio, video, live chat, or a combination of these methods. You can also message your therapist at any time through in-app messaging, and they’ll respond as soon as they can. This may be useful if you have questions or concerns in between sessions, as you can write down your thoughts in the moment instead of waiting until your next therapy session to communicate them.
Takeaway
What is a famous quote about intimacy?
A few well-known quotes about intimacy are listed below:
“The words ‘I love you’ kill and resurrect millions in less than a second.”
Aberjahni, Elemental: The Power of Illuminated Love
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
“Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive. At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to protect ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth, or to hide. To dive into life or to avoid it. Intimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth at that moment.”
Geneen Roth
“His eyes are open, watching my flushed face, my ragged breathing. I try to stop myself from making embarrassing noises. It’s more intimate than the way he’s touching me, to be looked at like that. I hate that he knows what he’s doing, and I don’t. I hate being vulnerable. I hate that I throw my head back, baring my throat. I hate the way I cling to him, the nails of one hand digging into his back, my thoughts splintering, and the single last thing in my head: that I like him better than I’ve ever liked anyone and that of all the things he’s ever done to me, making me like him so much is by far the worst.”
Holly Black, The Wicked King
What are the four types of intimacy?
Researchers and clinicians often refer to four broad categories of intimacy: physical, emotional, cognitive, and experiential. Most intimate acts will fall within one of those categories. Each category is defined below:
Physical intimacy. Many people think of sex when considering physical intimacy, but any form of loving physical contact is included in this category, including hugs, kisses, snuggling, or affectionate touches.
Emotional intimacy. This category is likely best defined by the concept of trust. Emotionally intimate actions include things like secret-sharing, seeking empathetic support, and providing it to a loved one.
Cognitive intimacy. This category refers to intimacy that comes through shared interests, intellectual discussion, or shared learning experiences.
Experiential intimacy. Experiential intimacy refers to the bond that is formed through shared experiences. This form of intimacy is most often associated with quality time in romantic relationships.
Why are intimacy, love, and close connections important?
Humans are social beings, and evidence suggests that positive social interactions are an essential part of maintaining physical and mental well-being. For many, those social needs are met through interactions with friends, family, and romantic partners. Humanity likely developed social cohesion as society developed, allowing humans to work together to achieve greater advancements than could be accomplished independently.
Today, humanity’s innate need for socialization and connection remains, even though surviving alone is much easier in many cases. The drive to find love and friendship is strong in many people and is frequently captured in popular media, such as Katy Perry’s “Into Me You See,” a song about meeting someone they could deeply connect with.
What did Jane Austen say about intimacy?
Jane Austen wrote frequently about love and intimacy in her novels and letters, but she is perhaps best known for her description of intimacy in her novel Sense and Sensibility. In that story, a character named Marianne suggests, “It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone.” The quote indicates that intimacy is determined by an individual’s personal inclination toward another person, not the time spent or experiences undertaken together. In other words, if you don’t “vibe” with another person, intimacy is unlikely to develop, no matter how much time you spend together.
What did Maya Angelou say about love?
Maya Angelou has many quotes about love and intimacy, but her most famous is likely, “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, and penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” The quote speaks to the love’s tenacity and how true love can overcome many barriers and obstacles to persist.
Is fear a part of intimacy?
Great intimacy usually doesn’t incorporate fear, but fear can still be associated with intimacy. The greatest association between fear and intimacy is likely through a fear of rejection or vulnerability. Many intimate acts require the initiator, receiver, or both to be vulnerable and trusting with each other. If that trust and willingness to be vulnerable, the intimate act might induce fear or discomfort. Similarly, a person may fear rejection when initiating an intimate act.
What helps maintain an intimate relationship?
Likely, one of the most effective ways to maintain intimacy in a relationship is to focus on more than just physical intimacy. Many people associate intimacy with sex (and sometimes not much else), but evidence suggests that a wide range of intimate activities are required to maintain a sense of closeness and intimacy. Many couples find that engaging in acts of emotional and mental intimacy helps make physical intimacy more special and desired by both partners. It may be worthwhile to consider going on more dates, finding a new hobby together, or setting aside time for deep and stimulating conversations.
How are intimacy and love related?
Intimacy is a component of romantic love and represents a trusting, close bond between individuals. Intimate acts are typical in most romantic relationships, and the relationship quality is often linked to the degree of intimacy experienced by each partner. One could say that intimacy represents the “actions” of love. While many people associate that with sex, any activity that brings a couple closer together can be considered an intimate act.
What is the most important form of intimacy?
The most important form of intimacy likely varies from person to person. Some people likely value physical touch more highly than any other intimate act, while others might value deep conversations as the most significant. While each person likely has individual preferences, each type of intimacy is important in most relationships. Improving intimacy in a romantic relationship may require finding new ways to express love and bond with a partner.
Is intimacy important for the soul?
Human spirituality is closely related to intimacy. One example is many religious people's intimate relationship with the deity they worship. Many people feel a close, personal connection with their faith, and spiritual intimacy may be an important part of nurturing the soul. Of course, different people define the soul differently, making it hard to truly capture how intimacy plays a role.
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