32 Lack Of Intimacy Quotes That Can Help You Cope

Being in an intimate relationship can be a fulfilling experience, but the subject may be a source of stress for those in relationships that lack intimacy. Intimacy is a complex topic that can relate to a variety of different relationship elements and subjects. To understand what intimacy is, and what it means to lack it, it may be helpful to hear how others have experienced it. Below are a variety of quotes on love, affection, relationship, intimacy, and lack of intimacy. Quotes from famous author Jane Austen are also included. 

Quotes about emotional intimacy

“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.” 

• F. Scott Fitzgerald

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” 

• John Joseph Powell

“If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend.”

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." 

• Maya Angelou
• Henri Nouwen 

“To grow in our ability to love ourselves we need to receive love as well.”

• John Gray

“There is no greater source of joy and meaning in our lives than our relationships with others.”

• Esther Perel

You’re always the first and the last thing on this heart of mine. No matter where I go, or what I do, I’m thinking of you.” 

• Dierks Bentley

“Intimacy is a totally different dimension. It is allowing the other to come into you, to see you as you see yourself.” 

• Osho

We hurt so much because we have lost a part of ourselves. If we have loved much, we must have given much also, and when everything’s over, we feel as though we have lost everything.”

• Jocelyn Soriano

“Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved.”

• John O’Donohue

Quotes about physical intimacy

“Sex is emotion in motion.” 

• Mae West

“Remember, attraction is only one part of a relationship. Loyalty, commitment, responsibility, and maturity make up the rest.” 

• Dr. Ruth Westheimer

“The true feeling of sex is that of a deep intimacy, but above all of a deep complicity.” 

• James Dickey

“Couples who schedule time to connect with each other have healthier, happier relationships.”

• Chris Kraft

“Nobody dies from the lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.” 

• Margaret Atwood

Jane Austen quotes

“There is no charm equal to the tenderness of heart.”

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” 

“We all have a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”

“It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.”

“My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

Jane Austen quotes about intimacy

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; —it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”

“If I could but know his heart, everything would become easy.” 

“Where the heart is really attached, I know very well how little one can be pleased with the attention of anybody else.” 

Quotes about love

“I wonder if this is how people always get close: They heal each other’s wounds; they repair the broken skin.” 

• Lauren Oliver

“Love is like breathing. You take it in and let it out.”

• Wally Lamb

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.” 

• Nicholas Sparks

“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.” 

• Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

• Maya Angelou

Quotes about loneliness or a lack of intimacy

“To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.” 

• Anna Louise Strong

“Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.” 

• Martha Beck

Quotes about truth in relationships

“A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future.” 

• Croft M. Pentz

“Always tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember what you said.”

• Mark Twain

“I think the most important foundation of any relationship is just being honest. You’ve got to. My wife and I are honest to a fault with each other, and we’re best friends on top of it, so we’re very fortunate.”

• Max Greenfield

“Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.”

• Oprah Winfrey

“Intimacy is not something that just happens between two people; it is a way of being alive. At every moment, we are choosing either to reveal ourselves or to protect ourselves, to value ourselves or to diminish ourselves, to tell the truth or to hide. To dive into life or to avoid it. Intimacy is making the choice to be connected to, rather than isolated from, our deepest truth at that moment.”

• Geneen Roth

“A strong relationship is an honest relationship, and no honest relationship is all peaches and cream. Love is the key. Where love abides, anger is but a passing visitor.”

• Jerry Spinelli

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

• Friedrich Nietzsche

Can mental health impact intimacy?

Mental health can have a significant impact on intimacy, which in turn can affect individuals in a variety of ways. Depending on what type of mental health condition a person is experiencing, they may cope with a variety of symptoms and situations that could decrease their ability to be intimate. While each individual’s experience with mental health is unique, several situations that may impact intimacy include isolation, fatigue, difficulties with communication, substance use, parenting challenges, and resentment. 

Isolation and a lack of physical intimacy

Some mental health conditions may cause a person to isolate, which could make it difficult to increase intimacy, particularly physical intimacy. Those who are experiencing depression or anxiety could withdraw from loved ones, whether it be due to the severity of their symptoms or the way their condition affects their self-image. This withdrawal can create a barrier to emotional and physical intimacy, making it challenging for two people to connect. 

Fatigue

Many mental health disorders can cause fatigue, a condition which can increase difficulty with intimacy. Fatigue can make a person feel tired and out of energy, even after a full night's sleep. It is a common symptom of depression and can significantly impact daily activities, including maintaining relationships. When someone is constantly fatigued, they may lack the energy to engage in intimate activities, both emotionally and physically, which may lead to conflicts with their partner. 

Difficulties with communication and emotional intimacy

Mental health conditions can make it more difficult for individuals to communicate, which in turn could impact emotional intimacy. Depending on what type of disorder a person is experiencing, they could feel uncomfortable discussing their emotions or have symptoms that make intimacy distressing. For instance, anxiety may cause a person to overthink their words and actions, which could lead to a lack of openness, while depression can result in withdrawal from conversations altogether. 

Substance use associated with mental health

In some cases, individuals experiencing mental health challenges may use substances to cope with their symptoms. This substance use can create a significant barrier to intimacy, as it may lead to unpredictable behavior, emotional unavailability, and conflict within the relationship. Substance use can also exacerbate an underlying mental health condition, creating a cycle that further distances partners from each other. 

Parenting challenges

Mental health conditions may make it difficult for a parent to fulfill their responsibilities. This may require their partner to take on more tasks, which could be difficult. This, in turn, could impact intimacy. The added stress and imbalance of parenting duties can lead to feelings of frustration and overwhelm, reducing the time and energy available for maintaining an intimate relationship. 

Resentment and difficulty telling the truth about one’s feelings

The responsibility of having a partner with a mental health condition, particularly one they aren’t addressing, could cause a person to feel resentful. This resentment may make it difficult to be intimate. When one partner feels that they are carrying an unfair share of the emotional or practical burdens, it can lead to feelings of bitterness and anger. This emotional state can make it difficult to remain close and could cause one partner to withdraw or become less responsive. It can also be difficult to be honest about this state, as couples may fear what their significant other will think or do in response. 

How to address mental health, love, and intimacy challenges

While some may choose to address mental health, love, and intimacy challenges on their own, this can be difficult. In many cases, seeking the assistance of a mental health professional could make the process easier. Mental health professionals may use a variety of therapeutic approaches, such as intimacy therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and couples therapy.

While these approaches may traditionally be thought of as occurring in person, that may not always be possible. For couples with busy schedules or children, finding the time to look for a therapist or make an appointment could be difficult. Others could live in a remote region, which could make traveling to in-office sessions challenging. In these situations, online therapy may be more convenient. 

Research suggests that online and in-person therapy can be equally effective. In a 2022 study, individuals were asked to participate in in-person and online therapy for the treatment of certain mental health conditions. Researchers found no significant difference in functioning outcomes between these therapeutic formats. The outcomes included symptom severity after treatment, overall improvement, working alliance, and client satisfaction.