Is Intimacy Important In A Relationship?

The American Psychological Association states that intimacy “characterizes close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationships and requires the parties to have a detailed knowledge or deep understanding of each other.” Intimacy can be experienced in various relationships, but it is perhaps most often discussed in the context of romantic relationships. In general, intimacy is considered a crucial component of a healthy relationship, and it can come in many forms, such as emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy. For professional guidance in enhancing intimacy, consider working with a licensed therapist on your own or with your partner.

The role of intimacy in a relationship

Intimacy can enhance a relationship in numerous ways. It can help a couple support each other during challenging times while also leading to increased closeness in everyday life. While some people may use the word “intimate” to refer to the sexual connection between two people, couples can experience numerous types of intimacy. Intimacy may change over time as a couple grows together, and it can contribute significantly to relationship satisfaction.

Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy might be thought of as a mutual understanding that two people have of each other’s thoughts and emotions. This might manifest in a couple’s verbal and nonverbal communication. A couple with strong emotional intimacy may pick up on subtle emotional changes, which may allow them to better support each other. For some couples, emotional intimacy might grow as a result of intellectual intimacy, which may develop over mutual interests. 

Physical intimacy

While some people might think of physical intimacy as sexual, it can encompass more than sexual contact. Manifestations of physical intimacy may include holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and using gentle physical touch to increase physical closeness (while respecting personal boundaries). Any type of physical affection can foster a sense of connection. 

Sexual intimacy 

Sexual intimacy typically entails sexual contact, but this can be different for each couple. For some, this may involve sexual intercourse, while for others, sexual intimacy can involve a variety of other activities that bring mutual pleasure. 

Despite the distinction made here between physical and sexual intimacy, these types of intimacy can feed on each other. Physical intimacy may lead to sexual activity at times, which can, in turn, enhance overall physical intimacy and even spiritual intimacy. 

What are the consequences of a lack of intimacy?

Couples who lack one type of intimacy may find that this affects other types. For example, challenges related to emotional intimacy may affect a couple’s sexual intimacy, and vice versa. It can be important to note that couples may not experience a complete lack of intimacy. They may experience periods of greater or lesser intimacy depending on numerous factors, some of which may not be anyone’s fault. Various strategies may enhance a couple’s intimacy.

Ways to increase intimacy in a relationship

While intimacy can wane at times, many strategies can deepen intimacy. The following are just a few:

Spend more time together

While some couples might think that they already spend a lot of time together, they might not always be truly present with each other. It may help to schedule times to spend together when you won’t be distracted. For example, rather than simply physically being in the same place, you might schedule time to take a walk or enjoy a slow meal together. 

Work on communication

With busy schedules, it can be easy for couples to get out of the habit of communicating with each other. Some couples may benefit from sitting down once a week to practice open and honest communication. By discussing what they are feeling, couples may find that they can have more meaningful conversations and develop deeper emotional intimacy. 

Focus on your sexual connection

Over time, some couples may find that they have lost interest in sex or that they have fallen into a routine. If busy schedules make it difficult to find time with each other, you might deliberately schedule time to spend together. In addition, there may still be sexual interests to discover in each other. By communicating openly, you may find that you develop a renewed interest in sex. 

Show appreciation

It can be difficult not to focus on the things that aren’t going right in a relationship. One way to change this pattern may be to demonstrate appreciation for each other. This can be accomplished through seemingly small gestures that mean a lot. For example, if your significant other spent time doing laundry while you were busy, you might leave them a thank-you note or a card expressing how much you appreciate the little things they do.  

How therapy might improve the health of your relationship

Many couples decide to seek the help of a therapist to develop more intimacy. You don’t have to be experiencing severe conflict to benefit from counseling. A therapist may employ strategies to deepen your connection and improve your communication. This, in turn, may improve physical and sexual intimacy. 

Online therapy for relationships and emotional health

If you don’t have time for traditional in-person therapy, or if you or your partner travel for work, you might consider online therapy. With online therapy, you can participate in therapy together even if you’re not in the same location. You can communicate with a therapist via audio, video, or live chat at a time that suits both your schedules. Even couples who don’t believe they have problems may find that therapy helps them maintain a healthy level of intimacy.

In addition to couples counseling, some people may benefit from individual therapy. It’s not necessary to have a mental health disorder to benefit from therapy. A mental health professional may be able to help with individual concerns related to intimacy or self-confidence, and individual therapy can be conducted in person or online. 

In recent years, numerous studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy. Online therapy can be effective for individual concerns, such as anxiety, as well as for relationship challenges. Both types of therapy may lead to greater intimacy between partners.