What Happens In Sex And Intimacy Therapy To Address Intimacy Issues?
Intimacy or sex therapy can be described as a type of counseling that can help individuals address concerns with physical intimacy. People can attend intimacy therapy one-on-one to work through challenges on their own, or couples can attend sessions together to address their difficulties and improve their relationship health. This type of therapy usually involves talking with a therapist about the challenges you’re experiencing and how to address them. It does not involve any kind of physical contact with your therapist or partner during the session. This type of therapy can be accessed in person or online.
Sex vs. intimacy
While the words “sex” and “intimacy” are sometimes used interchangeably, they are different. Understanding the distinctions between these terms can be helpful for couples as they navigate relationship challenges.
What is intimacy?
Intimacy generally refers to a sense of closeness with another person, and can have different meanings to different people. Intimacy may have elements of trust, honesty, acceptance, affection, and compassion. People who are intimately connected may find it easy to openly communicate about their thoughts and emotions and be vulnerable with one another.
Intimacy can come in many forms, including emotional, spiritual, intellectual, experiential, physical, and sexual intimacy.
What is sex?
Sex can be categorized as a type of physical intimacy. However, you can have different types of intimacy without having sex, and you can also have sex without emotional intimacy. For example, some couples may be emotionally connected but lack the desire to have sex, while other couples may have regular sex while being emotionally disconnected.
Every relationship is different, but for couples who value having sexual relationships that include both intimacy and sex, intimacy therapy can be a way to understand the factors that may be affecting their intimate connection and how to work through them.
Are sex therapy and intimacy therapy the same thing?
The terms “sex therapy” and “intimacy therapy” are often used interchangeably, but they aren’t always the same. Intimacy counseling can help individuals or couples explore various factors that might prevent them from forming a close connection or bond. These factors can be related to sex, but they don’t have to be. Intimacy therapists can help people learn how to overcome roadblocks to many types of intimacy, including emotional, spiritual, and experiential intimacy, for example.
What do sex therapists do in sex and intimacy therapy?
Sex therapists can be defined as mental health professionals with special training who can help individuals identify and address sexual concerns. They can treat a variety of sexual difficulties with psychological causes or that affect people psychologically, and they can also guide people through addressing challenges related to sexual pleasure or desire.
In general, sex therapists are not medical doctors and cannot treat physical issues that may affect sex drive, like hormone levels or medication side effects. A sex therapist is usually trained to use a variety of evidence-based approaches to help people improve their sex lives, which may include focusing on intimacy issues in other areas. They may use a variety of techniques, such as teaching communication skills, providing sex education, and focusing on sexual interaction. While nothing physical happens in sex therapy sessions, therapists may give homework assignments to encourage couples to work through their sexual difficulties outside of sessions.
Reasons to see a sex therapist for sex therapy and intimacy issues
There can be many reasons to see a sex therapist for sex therapy and intimacy issues, including the following
To address the sexual desire discrepancy through sex therapy
Sexual desire may naturally ebb and flow, but in couples, a discrepancy between partners’ libidos can be challenging to manage. Some people may prefer a low-sex relationship from the start, but for couples who saw sex as an essential part of their relationship from the beginning, it can be challenging to cope when levels of sexual intimacy and desire change. Sex therapy can address these challenges and help partners grow closer.
To process sexual trauma with the help of a sex therapist
Healing from sexual trauma can be challenging, and some people who have experienced non-consensual sexual contact may struggle to have fulfilling sex lives. By addressing both emotional and mental health aspects, a sex therapist can guide survivors toward healing and reclaiming their sense of safety and connection. A sex therapist can help survivors who want to improve this area of their lives become more comfortable with consensual sexual encounters.
To become closer to your partner
Sex and intimacy are not necessarily the same thing. Some people may have regular sex with their partner but still sense they are disconnected or that something is missing in the relationship. Sex therapy can help couples explore various aspects of their physical relationship to deepen their emotional and physical connections.
To overcome anxiety about sex and support mental health
Sex can be a significant source of anxiety for many reasons. Individuals may encounter challenges related to sexual performance, trauma, body image, and self-esteem, among other sources of anxiety. Addressing these concerns not only improves sexual confidence but also positively impacts overall mental health and emotional well-being. Sex therapists can help people address these concerns as they relate to sexual activity and guide couples as they learn to work through these roadblocks.
What happens in a typical intimacy or sex therapy session?
During a sex therapy session, you and your therapist may work together to identify any behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, or past traumas that may be affecting your sex life. Your therapist may ask you to talk about your beliefs about sex, your health, your sexual background, or any specific concerns you might have.
It can be challenging for some people to share this type of information, but your therapist will usually take the time to form a strong therapeutic alliance with you that can help you become more comfortable discussing these topics.
It can be important to understand that sex therapy does not involve physical contact or sexual activity between you and your therapist. Your therapist may assign homework for you to do on your own or with your partner at home between sessions, but intimate or sexual experiences should never occur in a therapy session.
Considerations for choosing a sex therapist
Talking about sex and intimacy can be uncomfortable or awkward for some people. Your sex therapist should recognize this and focus on increasing your comfort level. Talking about your challenges related to sex and intimacy can be central to this type of therapy. Here are a few things to think about when choosing a sex therapist.
- You do not have to work with the first therapist you meet. You can meet with several professionals with experience in this area until you find one with whom you are comfortable discussing more intimate concerns.
- Ask potential therapists about their qualifications and if they have experience helping clients with challenges similar to yours.
- Decide if you want to attend therapy on your own, with your partner, or both. Depending on the challenges you’re experiencing, you may find one-on-one treatment more helpful than couples therapy or vice versa. Conversely, you may want to attend both individual and couples therapy to address both personal and shared concerns.
Consider an online sex therapist to support your mental health and comfort
Because of the sensitive nature of some of the topics that may arise in sex therapy, some people may not be comfortable seeking professional sex therapy in person. Online therapy can not only address issues related to intimacy but also provide vital mental health support by creating a safe, comfort space to discuss these concerns. Online therapy can empower you to tailor the experience to match your comfort level.
With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp (or Regain for couples), you can attend therapy sessions from home and choose between video, audio, and online chat for each session. Many people are matched with a therapist within 48 hours, and you can change providers at any time until you find the right fit for you.
While not much research has been conducted on the efficacy of online sex therapy, a 2022 systematic review and meta-analysis reported that online interventions appear to be an effective form of treatment for sexual dysfunction. Additional research suggests that online therapy is typically as effective as its in-person counterpart.
Takeaway
What is the first step in sex and intimacy therapy?
The first step in sex and intimacy therapy is an initial consultation, where the qualified sex therapist works to identify specific sexual concerns, set goals, and build trust. This session involves discussing personal and relational history, sexual history, clarifying expectations, relationship issues, mental health, and creating a safe space for open communication.
The therapist may explore topics such as sexual health, sexual functioning, sexual desire, and any emotional or mental roadblocks that may impact a healthy sex life. Depending on individual needs, the therapist may recommend individual sex therapy, relationship therapy, or other forms of sex therapy services to address sexual challenges and improve intimate relationships.
What is the best therapy for intimacy issues?
The best therapy for intimacy issues depends on the specific challenges, but commonly recommended approaches include:
Couples Therapy: Focuses on improving communication, trust, and emotional connection between partners.
Sex Therapy: It addresses sexual concerns such as mismatched libidos, performance anxiety, or physical discomfort.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps individuals or couples identify and change negative thought patterns affecting intimacy.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Aims to strengthen emotional bonds and resolve conflicts in relationships.
A therapist can guide you in choosing the most suitable approach based on your unique needs and goals.
What happens in intimacy therapy?
In intimacy therapy, a qualified sex therapist or mental health professional helps individuals and couples address relationship issues, enhance their sex life, and navigate sexual challenges. Through talk therapy, clients explore their sexual health, sexual functioning, and sexual desire while working through potential barriers such as sexual trauma, performance anxiety, or past experiences affecting their emotional relationship.
The therapist may use techniques to increase emotional connection and foster a more pleasurable sex life. Depending on individual needs, therapy may also address concerns related to human sexuality, sexual behavior, and sexual activity to promote a healthy intimate relationship.
How do I fix my intimacy with my partner?
Fixing intimacy with your sexual partner starts with open communication and understanding. Talk therapy with a mental health professional or certified sex therapist can help address sexual issues and sexual dysfunction that may be affecting your connection.
If challenges like mismatched sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or painful intercourse are present, working with sex counselors or a clinical social worker can provide solutions. Learning more about human sexuality through sexual education can also help improve sexual behavior.
For those dealing with sex addiction, porn addiction, or unwanted sexual fetishes, therapy can offer helpful coping mechanisms. If concerns around gender identity, sexual orientation, or other sexual health concerns are affecting intimacy, professional support can help.
Individual therapy or couples therapy can strengthen emotional health, improve general mental health, and help address concerns that may be creating distance.
What is the first step in sex therapy?
The first step is an initial session with a certified sex therapist or mental health professional. Through talk therapy, they will discuss sexual issues like sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or other sexual problems affecting you or your sexual partner.
They may also explore sexual desire, gender identity, and emotional concerns. If needed, sex counselors or sexuality educators can provide additional guidance.
What are sex therapy exercises?
Sex therapy exercises are techniques used in talk therapy to help with sexual issues and improve intimacy with your sexual partner. A mental health professional may suggest exercises to overcome concerns like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or other sexual problems. These exercises may include communication practices, relaxation techniques, and gradual intimacy-building activities.
How successful is sex therapy?
Sex therapy can be highly effective in addressing sexual issues and improving intimacy with a sexual partner. Its success depends on factors like communication, engagement in talk therapy, and working with a certified sex therapist or mental health professional.
Therapy helps individuals and couples manage sexual dysfunction, sexual problems, and relationship issues stemming from past experiences. It can also improve sexual desire, sexual behavior, and sexual activity while addressing erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and painful intercourse.
A therapist with specialized training in human sexuality and sex education can provide guidance. For those unable to attend in person, online sex therapy is an option.
Thanks for the feedback!
- Previous Article
- Next Article