What Lack Of Intimacy Does To A Man
Intimacy may be considered a fundamental part of a romantic relationship, yet some couples experience challenges related to intimacy. While a lack of intimacy can affect people of all genders, men may be impacted differently in some cases. Below, explore what lack of intimacy does to a man and find tips for couples to increase intimacy and renew their sex life.
Effects of a sexless marriage
One study suggests that 15% of couples have not had sex in the last six to 12 months. A lack of sexual intimacy for a prolonged period may affect a man’s emotions in various ways. A sexless marriage may lead some men to experience stress and overthinking. For example, if a man in a given relationship is the one who typically tries to initiate sex but doesn’t believe his desire is reciprocated, he may think he is undesirable. These challenges can happen to anyone of any gender but may impact people differently.
In some cases, a lack of intimacy may be related to sexual dysfunction. If a man experiences erectile dysfunction, he may experience a sense of shame or inadequacy at times. Sexual dysfunction can affect people of all genders and can have a significant emotional impact. However, help is often available through treatment options like therapy, medical procedures, or medication. Regardless of the reasons for a lack of intimacy in a long-term relationship, the following tips may improve emotional bonding and increase intimacy.
Resuming dating
When a couple has been together for an extended period, they may lose the habit of dating. By beginning to go on dates again, couples may start to bond again emotionally. Dates don’t have to involve elaborate plans or a “special” or unique event. By spending time together without distraction, some couples may discover a renewed interest in sex.
Focusing on physical touch—not sexual activity
In some cases, a couple may notice a lack of physical intimacy or physical touch. The above strategy of focusing on dating again may lead to greater emotional bonding, which could lead two people to begin to touch each other more. Physical touch can include holding hands, hugging, caressing, or sitting together on the couch. Greater physical touching may lead to more sexual activity for some people. However, not having sex after physical touch is also normal. An act of physical affection can release endorphins and oxytocin, which can improve mood and increase emotional attachment.
Addressing a lack of sexual desire
In some cases, a couple may lack intimacy due to a lack of sexual desire. A lack of desire may be related to emotional challenges or health issues, such as stress, lack of energy, or use of alcohol or other substances. Some people may find that their sexual desire increases if they make certain changes. For example, reducing or limiting the use of alcohol or other substances for some time may be helpful. In addition, some people may benefit from implementing practices to reduce stress, such as yoga or mindfulness meditation.
Talking to a sex therapist
In some cases, a lack of sexual desire may not have a clear cause. A couple may be busy with work and the responsibilities of living under the same roof or want to open themselves up to new sexual activities but aren’t sure how to broach the subject. If you have difficulty communicating about this topic, you might try to speak with a sex therapist. A couple doesn’t have to experience serious problems to benefit from sex therapy. A sex therapist may have strategies to help a couple explore new interests in a safe environment. Note that no sexual activity occurs in a sex therapy session.
Connecting with a therapist about intimacy, sexual desire, and mental health
Some couples experiencing a lack of intimacy may speak with a licensed therapist. Talk therapy may help a couple explore emotional challenges that could be contributing to a lack of intimacy. However, some couples face barriers to in-person treatment, such as a lack of time or finances. In these cases, they may benefit from online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. With online therapy, couples can communicate with a therapist together even if they are not in the same location due to work obligations. Online couples therapy can be conducted via audio, video, or live chat.
For those with a partner who isn’t interested in couples therapy, attending therapy individually can also be helpful. Individual therapy may help a person explore personal challenges that could be affecting their desire for intimacy, such as past trauma or problems related to trust. Therapy may also help them gain insight into ways to interact with their partner and communicate their emotional and physical needs in a non-threatening way.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
The therapy process could lead to a breakthrough in intimacy and improved overall well-being. Individual and couples talk therapy can also be conducted online. Research shows that online therapy is effective for a number of challenges, including relationship problems and individual mental health concerns, such as anxiety and depression.
Takeaway
For individuals whose partner isn’t amenable to couples counseling, connecting with a therapist individually may also be helpful. A lack of intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to be anyone’s fault and doesn’t have to be permanent. If you’re in a relationship without intimacy, you may benefit from speaking with a licensed therapist about how a lack of intimacy is affecting you. Reach out to a provider online or in your area to get started.
What does a lack of intimacy do to a man?
A lack of intimacy can have several psychological effects, including low self-esteem. If a man attempts to initiate sex but frequently believes he is being rejected, he may struggle to accept that his partner loves him or is attracted to him. In some cases, a man may also feel a sense of shame. Shame can often occur if intimacy is affected by erectile dysfunction.
Regardless of the cause of a lack of intimacy, a person may begin to believe they are disconnected from their significant other. Some people who lack intimacy may develop a connection with other women or men. Struggles like these can happen to people of all genders, but a lack of intimacy can be addressed in numerous ways, regardless of gender.
What can help people who are in a sexless marriage?
People who find themselves in a sexless marriage may benefit from trying strategies to renew their emotional intimacy. For example, they might try deliberately scheduling time together with no expectation of sex. Time together could involve going for a walk, exercising, going on a date, or enjoying a slow meal at home without distractions. This type of bonding may lead to the natural development of physical touch, which might spark an interest in sex at times. Those who still experience challenges with intimacy might consider speaking with a couples counselor.
Can sexual desire and sexual activity be recovered?
A period of low sexual desire can be perfectly normal, with many couples going through ups and downs in their sex life. Aside from using strategies to increase bonding, couples might consider speaking with a sex therapist or a couples counselor, which may lead to greater understanding and a renewed interest in sex.
Does a lack of sex mean someone is cheating?
While a lack of sex in a relationship may lead some people to be tempted to engage in extramarital affairs, this factor is not a guarantee that someone has been unfaithful. One or both partners may feel nervous about initiating sex out of fear of rejection. Also, regardless of the reason for a lack of sex, there are ways to address problems with communication and intimacy, such as therapy.
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