How To Practice Self-Love For Mind & Health

While it may seem like a cliché, psychologists studying human well-being have repeatedly found self-compassion to be a key component to mental health and personal growth. Rather than a state of being, however, it may be more helpful to think of self-love as a practice—a series of deliberate actions and attitudes that we choose to cultivate daily. 

Here, you’ll explore the nature of self-love and discover some evidence-based practices for practicing it in your daily life. With these practical tips, you’ll learn to incorporate these healthy habits into your routine, helping you make meaningful progress towards your goals.

8 ways to learn how to practice self-love

Understanding how to practice self-love can be helpful for maintaining mental health, kindness, and overall well-being. It’s about using self-awareness while nurturing yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer to others. Developing a positive relationship with yourself can transform your life, enhancing your interactions with others and your ability to cope with daily stress. 

Here are eight effective ways to cultivate self-love, each designed to strengthen your self-esteem and promote a fulfilling sense of self-compassion.

1. How to practice self-love for your mental health: Use positive self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves can have a significant impact on self-perception and mental health—negative self-talk is associated with higher rates of depression and anxiety, while positive self-talk is associated with self-compassion and positive self-regard.

One way to improve your relationship with yourself is to try talking to yourself the way you would a beloved friend. Often, we may be much harsher with ourselves than we are with others, so thinking of your body and personality as trusted lifelong companions could make it easier to be gentle and compassionate with yourself.

Positive affirmations can be another way to add more positive self-talk to your life. Try saying “I am capable” or “I am strong” when you’re feeling unsure, as this can increase confidence. Over time this can help reinforce a sense of self-confidence and personal empowerment.

2. Practicing self love by celebrating your achievements

When you have trouble loving yourself, you may not be a great judge of which achievements are significant. However, disregarding your accomplishments in this way can lead to a skewed perception of success. 

You can combat this by congratulating yourself for victories, no matter how big or small. Celebrating these achievements helps to build a positive self-image, inner strength, and reinforce self-worth. It can also be beneficial to reflect on your self-growth journey as you achieve each milestone. 

3. How to practice self-love: Affirm your values to soothe your mind

While a disconnect between your values and behaviors can create internal conflict and diminish self-esteem, self-love can flourish when you take steps to ensure that your actions align with your core beliefs. 

Affirming your values involves identifying what truly matters to you and committing to the habits and practices that reflect these priorities. Adopting a growth mindset encourages you to align your actions with your core values, promoting continuous self-improvement and mental health. This could mean making choices that foster your personal growth, support your mental health, and nurture your relationships. Research has found that clarifying values and finding meaning can lead to better mental health outcomes.

4. Accept compliments-using love from others to build confidence

In addition to taking joy in your victories, you might also need to practice letting others celebrate your good qualities. It can be common for people to get into the habit of brushing off compliments and minimizing their positive qualities, but this can make it harder to maintain a healthy sense of self-love. 

Instead, you can simply make a conscious effort to say “thank you” when you get a compliment. This might make you feel arrogant or self-centered at first. Over time, though, it should help you become more comfortable with directing positive feelings toward yourself, boosting your self-worth.

5. Set healthy boundaries to ease anxiety & support mental health

While caring for the important people in your life can bring joy and fulfillment, prioritizing the needs of others over yourself can lead to self-neglect. Thus, it may be important to establish and maintain firm boundaries with others. Setting boundaries helps you maintain a healthybalance between caring for others and prioritizing your own mental and emotional well-being. This might include:

• Budgeting time for yourself and not allowing (non-emergency) interruptions
• Limiting contact with specific people
• Refusing to engage in conversation on topics that trigger anxiety or always lead to arguments
• Establishing rules about personal space and physical contact
• Placing limits on the material and financial assistance you offer others

When someone in your life crosses one of these lines, you may need to politely but firmly remind them that you’ve asked them to avoid this behavior. Setting healthy boundaries helps protect your emotional well-being and builds resilience, allowing you to cope with difficult situations more effectively. If they persist in their actions or dispute your boundaries, it may be worth considering whether the relationship is truly beneficial for your mental and emotional health.

6. Practice meditation for symptoms of stress or anxiety

Researchers have known for some time now that people who meditate regularly seem to be happier. More recent studies suggest that this may be because meditation helps promote self-compassion.

Some meditative styles directly aim to cultivate compassion for the self and others, such as loving-kindness meditation. However, even basic mindfulness meditation can have similar positive effects. Practicing mindfulness through meditation can help cultivate self-compassion and emotional balance, reducing stress and promoting inner peace. Consider setting aside 15 to 20 minutes each day to practice some form of meditation, such as paying attention to your breathing and gently returning your thoughts to the breath if they start to wander.

7. Challenge cognitive distortions as a method of practicing self love

Persistent negative thoughts, often rooted in false beliefs, can erode self-love. These false beliefs are also called cognitive distortions, which are irrational thinking patterns that can negatively impact your sense of self. 

Common cognitive distortions include:

• Catastrophizing: Jumping to the worst possible conclusion
• Polarizing: Treating things as all good or all bad
• Filtering: Looking only at the negative aspects of your personality or actions
• Discounting the positive: Finding excuses to downplay or dismiss good things about yourself
• Labeling: Affixing a static judgment to yourself (such as “lazy” or “weak”)
• Forecasting: Assuming a negative outcome for a possible action
• Generalizing: Treating a single incident as representative of a constant pattern

Asking yourself reality-checking questions (e.g. “Is it really true that I always say the wrong thing?”) can help you break through the distorted assumptions getting in the way of self-love. By challenging cognitive distortions, you can replace negative thoughts with positive thinking, fostering a healthier mindset and greater self-compassion. If you are prone to these thinking errors, cognitive-behavioral therapy offers a way to address them, and has been repeatedly found effective for treating mental conditions like depression and anxiety.

8. Practice gratitude for a calmer mind and better mental health

Gratitude enriches your life by helping you appreciate what you have, rather than what you lack, and research has found that it to be a significant component of wellbeing and life contentment.

Practicing gratitude is a powerful step toward self-love, and you can practice it as a regular exercise in self-care daily. Dedicate time each day to write in a gratitude journal, noting the things you're thankful for, big or small. This simple act may help lower stress levels and shift your focus from what you lack to the abundance present in your life. 

Do you struggle with practicing self love and knowing love means?

If you struggle with self-love, it may be worth connecting with a mental health professional. A therapist can help you identify barriers to self-worth and set realistic goals for personal growth. 

Online therapy with BetterHelp offers a convenient and effective way to attend therapy from the comfort of home. With BetterHelp, you can attend weekly one-on-one virtual therapy with a licensed counselor who specializes in self-esteem issues. 

Research has found online therapy to be just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and with additional features and services like group therapy, educational webinars, guided journaling, and digital therapy worksheets, you can make progress faster and get the most out of your time in therapy.