Redefining What It Means To Do What You Love: Five Strategies To Build Your Best Life

From childhood to the time you graduate high school, you may have heard the sage advice spoken by Confucius thousands of years ago: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." In your current job, paired with personal and family obligations and your passions and interests, it may seem that this quote is a lie. When you take a minute to reflect, you might feel that you don't love or like your life as it is. 

Confucius' words have endured through the years. Many people aspire to craft a career and lifestyle that they genuinely love. However, in a fast-paced world, it might be challenging to hand-select a job and lifestyle you love 100% of the time. A dream job may be more attainable as you acquire more experience and skills. However, some people fear taking the risks it can take to apply themselves to a new position. 

Understanding how to find fulfillment, connection, and meaning in a current role can be beneficial, even if you don't fully love or enjoy your position. It might benefit your career and mental health to rediscover the passion and excitement of your daily life. 

Do what you love vs. loving what you do

For many people, the ability to do what they love is determined by available resources. Resources might include money, time, friends, familial support, and other physical and immaterial assets that help people achieve their goals. If people don't have avenues to some or all of these resources, they may struggle to find a job they love to earn enough income to fund their lives and support their families. 

Confucius' age-old advice may not work for everyone. However, identifying your passions, tapping into your resources, and uplifting others may be a start as you pursue your own professional and personal goals. 

You're not alone if this advice doesn't resonate with you or reflect your current situation. Many people work jobs that don't perfectly align with what they love. However, ultimately, their professions fund the lives they want to live outside of the office. This approach can be reframed as "doing the job that lets you have the life you want." Within this philosophy, some people gradually learn to love what they do because it affords them the life they want to live or positively impacts others. 

Strategies for building your best life 

"Do what you love" and "love what you do" are frameworks you can apply and adapt to your life based on your current career status and where you'd like to go. With this distinction in mind, below are a few strategies to figure out how you'd like to balance (or rebalance) your life and career while reconnecting with your passions, desires, and dreams from childhood to the present. 

Ask yourself profound questions 

What qualifies as a profound question can vary depending on the person, but the following questions may encourage you to reflect on what gives you energy, connects you to others, or challenges your mind: 

• What makes me excited?
• What am I curious about?
• What would I do for free because I love it so much? 
• Who do I admire?
• Do I like what I'm doing now? 
• What do I wish my days looked like?
• What minor changes could I make to be closer to my goals? 

These questions can be asked at any time, whether you're facing a crossroads in your career or evaluating a job you enjoy but want to improve in some way. These reflections can also spiral into related questions about joy, fulfillment, social connection, and community contribution. You can engage with these questions through journaling, conversations with a supportive friend, or therapy. 

Find your flow

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), flow is a mental state that someone experiences when their skills are fully utilized and equal to the task's demands. In other words, the person is "in the zone." Because they're so intensely involved in the task at hand, such as playing a sport or making a piece of art, they may lose self-consciousness and feel deep concentration, total control, and effortlessness. 

Flow can be a rewarding, intense state of mind. You might experience flow every day through your work or an energizing hobby. While you may not experience flow in your job, you may have felt it in other areas of your life. Pay attention to these areas and note the contexts or tasks that make you feel the most confident, competent, creative, and focused. Flow can feel energizing and direct you toward work and hobbies that reenergize you, refocus you, and potentially defend you from depression and burnout. 

Uncover the meaning of your work

Finding a meaningful job might not only be about how the work impacts you but about how it impacts others. When you focus on working toward something that will benefit others, you may find more meaning in your work and develop a love for what you do.

Research shows this to be true. Most notably, the Great Work Study, which focused on actions that resulted in great work, found that 88% of projects earned awards when employees made plans based on a variation of the question: "What difference could I make that other people would love?"

When you feel more connected to your workplace and coworkers, you may have more information and motivation to produce work that benefits your peers and your organization's mission. In some cases, this community fuels a sense of meaning and success without the hassle of changing your job or dramatically altering your career plans. 

Cultivate purpose outside of work

Even if your career melds passion, purpose, and the practical goal of earning a sustainable income, a career isn't the only aspect of life. 

If "doing what you love" is not possible or desirable in your current career path, you're not alone. For some people, not focusing on a career is preferable. Part of a healthy work-life balance is setting boundaries between your job and your relationships and favorite activities outside of work. 

In some cases, you might decide to work a job that suits your skills and experiences but isn't as creative or social as you'd like. Use this to fuel your after-work activities. For example, you can write poems, grab coffee with a friend, or prioritize another life-giving activity that doesn't fit your current schedule. 

As you work toward this balance, it may feel like you're doing the polar opposite of what society seems to expect. However, to the best of your abilities, push through the discomfort. You may be able to create a lifestyle that fulfills your emotional, physical, financial, and social needs. 

Connect with a therapist

Work can be challenging. In addition to the work itself, career paths can unearth painful emotions, insecurities, and concerns about your present and future self. If you're looking for support along this journey, a licensed therapist is equipped to help. Many therapists specialize in helping clients with their work and career-related goals. Today's therapists also recognize that people are often busy between jobs, family, social lives, and other obligations. To meet client needs, many counselors offer their services online.

If you're trying to begin therapy while maintaining a healthy work-life balance, an online platform like BetterHelp could be a solution. Online therapists are highly trained and licensed. Once you match with a therapist, you can schedule sessions at times that work best for you. If you're navigating a career change or unsure what your next week looks like, these therapy sessions are designed to be affordable, attainable, and flexible to your scheduling needs. 

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, online therapy has become increasingly popular, and research shows that it can be as effective as in-person counseling. In a 2021 study of an online group career counseling program, researchers found that the digital intervention significantly improved participants' "career adaptability," which measured their sense of control, curiosity, and confidence in career settings. Almost all participants perceived online career counseling as satisfactory. 

While this sample was small (12 young adults), its results are promising. Along with several other studies, this research highlights the potential for online therapy to help young people and established professionals transform their careers.