How Millennial Love And Relationships Are Different

Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC
Updated November 20, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

As a generation, millennials often face a unique set of challenges when it comes to relationships. In general, the increasing presence of social media and technology has drastically altered how individuals communicate and interact. While technology can be a catalyst for forming new connections, it can also create roadblocks when building and maintaining intimate connections. While there may be more ways than ever to connect and stay in touch with our partners, it can be overwhelming and lead to a lack of honest, meaningful communication. Additionally, gender roles, societal norms, and traditional relationship expectations have shifted in many cases. Millennials often question the standards of previous generations and may constantly redefine what it means to be in a successful, healthy relationship. For professional guidance in navigating the modern dating scene, consider trying online therapy.

Getty/Luis Alvarez
Are you having trouble navigating modern relationships?

Despite these challenges, it can be possible to build healthy and successful relationships. By understanding the impact of social media and technology on relationships, it may be possible to minimize negative effects and use technology to benefit relationships. 

Navigating the modern dating landscape while redefining gender roles and societal norms can also support new ways of thinking about relationships. Embracing non-traditional relationship structures, redefining traditional gender roles, and prioritizing emotional intelligence and communication skills over outdated markers of success can all be great opportunities for millennial relationships. By understanding these unique challenges and opportunities, millennials can build lasting, fulfilling relationships that meet their modern needs and values.

Communication challenges in millennial relationships

Millennials frequently face unique communication challenges in their relationships due to technology and the impact of social media. As a generation that grew up with communication tools like smartphones and the internet, millennials often rely on technology to connect with their partners. 

The rise of social media is thought to have been a huge factor in many millennial relationships. Forbes explains, “Ironically, we use the Internet to alleviate our loneliness. Social connection no longer requires a car, phone call, or plan – just a click. And it seems to work: World of Warcraft players experience less social anxiety and less loneliness when online than in the real world. The Internet temporarily enhances the social satisfaction and behavior of lonely people, who are more likely to go online when they feel isolated, depressed or anxious”.

While social media can alleviate loneliness, bring couples closer together, and help individuals learn more about a partner, it can also lead to feelings of jealousy, mistrust, and a lack of quietness. For example, some individuals may feel pressure to constantly update their relationship status or divulge every aspect of their lives on social media, despite being more discreet about the relationship in real life. Social media can also create unrealistic expectations of what a relationship “should” look like. Social media usually showcases the best and brightest moments of other people’s lives, but individuals may find themselves comparing their own lives to that standard.

Despite these challenges, there may be steps millennials can take to foster healthy communication in their relationships.

  • Set Boundaries Around Technology - Couples can agree to turn off their phones during meals or spend a certain amount of time each day without technology. Creating space for face-to-face communication can foster connection.

  • Practice Active Listening and Empathy - Truly listening to a partner's perspective and understanding their point of view can prevent misunderstandings and promote healthy communication.

  • Setting Boundaries - When an individual is clear and direct about their own needs and expectations, there is normally less room for misunderstanding. It can also be important to respect a partner’s boundaries to build trust in the relationship.

Communication challenges in millennial relationships can be complex. However, understanding the impact of technology and social media on communication patterns can help millennials foster healthier communication in their relationships.

Getty

Managing expectations in a modern relationship

When it comes to managing expectations in a modern relationship, navigating the ever-changing societal norms and expectations can be challenging. Many millennials have grown up with certain expectations about what a relationship should look like, including traditional gender roles and specific milestones like marriage and children. However, as societal norms shift and change, it can be important to question and redefine what it means to be in a successful, healthy relationship.

Millennials’ shifting views on relationships typically extend to marriage as well. Time references a study: "Nearly half of all those surveyed, ages 18 to 49 — and 53% of millennials — thought marriage vows should be renewed, and nearly 40% said they believed the ‘till death do us part’ vow should be abolished”.  The study’s author, Melissa Lavigne-Delville, explains, “This is a generation that is used to this idea that everything is in beta, that life is a work in progress, so the idea of a beta marriage makes sense. It’s not that they’re entirely noncommittal, it’s just that they’re nimble and open to change”.

To manage expectations in a modern relationship, practicing open communication and compromise regularly can be crucial. Being honest about individual needs and expectations while also being willing to listen and understand a partner's perspective can help couples build trust. Another important strategy may be maintaining flexibility and recognizing that relationships often shift and evolve over time. Individuals who are open to change and compromise can create a fulfilling partnership that meets the needs of both partners.

The opportunities of millennial relationships

Despite all the potential challenges, millennial relationships may also offer unique opportunities for growth and connection. While technology can be a double-edged sword, it can also provide opportunities for new forms of intimacy and create more profound and meaningful connections with partners through digital communication.

One opportunity for millennial relationships may be the option to redefine traditional relationship structures. As a generation, millennials are frequently known for questioning the norms of those who came before them. Millennials tend to create and define new models of successful relationships according to what best suits their needs. Embracing non-traditional relationship structures does not necessarily mean open relationships or polyamory, but it can also include rejecting traditional gender roles or creating a family outside the conventional nuclear structure.

Millennials may also have the chance to prioritize emotional intelligence and communication skills over outdated markers of success. Millennials usually place more emphasis on emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and communication than on jobs, social status, or income level. Embracing these values frequently allows millennials to create relationships emphasizing personal growth and emotional connection.

Millennials normally have more ways to professional help than the generations before them. This can be a valuable opportunity for individuals who might need support or guidance to navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Through therapy, millennials can learn skills for managing conflict, communicating effectively, and fostering healthy relationships.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
Are you having trouble navigating modern relationships?

Finding professional support

Online therapy can be an excellent option for those interested in millennial relationships' unique challenges and opportunities. Individuals may get a therapist who can provide them with guidance and support as they navigate the complexities of the modern dating world, which can be especially helpful for those who may feel unsure of how to approach these challenges independently. Online therapy can empower individuals to receive support and guidance from the comfort of their own homes through the use of technology. This can be particularly appealing for busy millennials who may not have the time to attend traditional therapy sessions and feel most comfortable using technology. 

One study conducted virtual couple therapy (VCT) in a university-based training clinic and community-based clinic to discuss the challenges that couples faced during the COVID-19 pandemic, including “renegotiating quality time together, navigating less personal space and time alone, experiencing individual anxiety and stress prompted by the pandemic, and increases in conflict”. The study's findings “demonstrate that clinicians can effectively support couples’ relationships through VCT during COVID-19. In addition, the increase in VCT can be used to help inform clinical practice beyond this pandemic, including continuing to find opportunities to reach more couples in need of our services and responding to the unique difficulties that couples experience during unexpected times of stress”. As demonstrated by the virtual couple therapy study conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic, online therapy can also be an effective way for clinicians to support couples during times of unexpected stress.

Takeaway

Millennials can face a unique set of challenges when it comes to relationships. While technology can be a pathway to forming new connections, it can also create roadblocks when building and maintaining connections. Gender roles and societal norms have also shifted for many, potentially causing many traditional relationship expectations to be questioned. Despite these challenges, it can be possible to build healthy and successful relationships by understanding the impact of social media and technology on relationships and navigating the modern dating landscape while redefining gender roles and societal norms. Embracing non-traditional relationship structures, redefining traditional gender roles, and prioritizing emotional intelligence and communication skills over outdated markers of success can all be ways for millennials to build lasting, fulfilling relationships that meet their modern needs and values. By understanding these unique challenges and opportunities, millennials can establish meaningful connections and create healthy, fulfilling relationships. Online therapy can be a valuable tool to assist millennials as they navigate this changing landscape.

Receive compassionate guidance in love
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started