How You Can Find True Love That Will Never Die
While the definition of true love can vary widely, healthy love often involves respect, trust, honesty, communication, compatibility, and understanding. You might find true love by looking for partnership, being yourself, taking things slowly, maintaining an open mind, taking care of yourself, and focusing on effective communication. If you’re experiencing difficulty in your quest for true love, speaking with a licensed therapist may be helpful.
What is true love?
True love can be a concept with many interpretations. The idea that real love can mean something different to everyone and remain true can be a valid point that supports the idea that no two stories of love are exactly alike.
Despite its complexity, true love can capture a universal sentiment that has inspired a sense of wonder for a large part of human history, enduring in nearly every culture around the world and throughout time. What constitutes real love for one person may not perfectly copy what others experience, but there can be an inherent benefit of connection in our lives no matter how it is ultimately achieved.
In general, true love can be about accepting understanding for every unique relationship, regardless of its expressions and differences.
Real love in popular culture
Popular culture often presents us with an idealized version of true love, in many cases showing that true love can only be achieved if you finally find that “one right person.” The relationships we see in movies and television shows are typically passionate, perfectly timed, and without a hint of conflict or disagreement.
However, this often contributes to an unrealistic expectation that these relationships can be replicated in our lives. Each person may experience true love or feel love uniquely; no two relationships may manifest in the same way. Similar misrepresentations may be provided by people who consider themselves “relationship experts.” It can be a good idea not to take any advice you hear from someone without formal training or licensure. This doesn’t necessarily mean these people won’t be able to help you identify some red flags, but it's possible they may be operating off of the stereotypes we often see in popular culture.
Comparing our experiences to the ones we see popularized can be damaging if those comparisons lead to feelings of inadequacy. All types of relationships usually require work from both parties. In general, effort must be put in for a bond to form and for partners to remain committed and connected.
What to look for when looking for true affection
When searching for true love, one may look for selflessness, trustworthiness, and genuine connection. You may also want to look for someone who gets along with the people in your life. In many cases, your friends and family members can be good judges of a potential partner’s character. True love sometimes means accepting each other’s flaws and recognizing strengths in one another. It may require patience and understanding rather than an expectation of perfection.
Every person may have individual experiences of unconditional love and attachment. It can be wrong to pressure yourself to find true love if you have yet to experience a genuine connection with another person or feel a sense of comfort with them. Who you choose may depend on your individual needs and sensibilities.
No two people may develop relationships simultaneously, so although it might be challenging not to compare yourself with those around you, perhaps try to shift your focus instead to identifying your own emotional needs and how you feel. These needs may cover a range of topics. For example, you may want someone to practice the same faith as you do or make a similar amount of money.
Ultimately, what may be considered a good love life typically comes when we open ourselves up to love and feel loved and seize the right moment with courage and confidence. Patience can be critical.
Genuine love in a relationship
True love in a relationship often has many significant physical, emotional, and mental health benefits. Defining true love can undoubtedly be complex, and it usually can’t be boiled down to a single physical behavior like constant eye contact. Some common signs you can look for may include respect, trust, honesty, communication, compatibility, and understanding.
Having a safe romantic bond can bring higher emotional stability and mental well-being. Couples with solid love often experience greater satisfaction while maintaining healthy relationships. With a fast connection to another person, physical and emotional boundaries can naturally be drawn to express mutual love and commitment.
Furthermore, partners of two individuals in a truly loving relationship can be more successful when working toward long-term goals together. Relationships characterized by these behaviors can increase overall happiness in older adults.
Thus, it can be essential to recognize the signs of true love in any relationship and understand its potential to provide joy to all participants.
Signs that a relationship doesn’t have real affection
True love can be the cornerstone of a successful, long-term relationship. However, it may not always be easy to determine whether your relationship has true love. Common signs that a relationship might not have true love can include frequent arguments, an inability to compromise, and a lack of respect.
If you fight and argue the entire time you are together, or your disagreements more often devolve into yelling or name-calling rather than a clear resolution, it may signal a noticeable lack of love. Furthermore, attempts at compromise may often be met with resistance, or one partner may continually refuse to meet the other halfway. As a result, the essential foundations of love and respect may be absent in that relationship.
Relationships can be complex and ever-evolving entities, often full of both joy and hurt. Partners should generally recognize that it can be expected for relationships to take work and have good and bad days. Using coping skills during these times may allow couples to build trust in their relationships and strengthen their bonds.
Conflicts in finding true love
Each person may have unique needs that can define what they consider to be the right kind of relationship to pursue. Consequently, conflicts can arise when it comes to finding true love, as what one person may define as ideal may always be subjective to them.
As such, journeys toward experiencing and enjoying lasting relationships can act as a personal self-inquiry, frequently forcing individuals to explore and uncover what they’re attracted to, in addition to their wants and desires in a romantic setting. This can be vital to discover the most suitable partner that realistically meets their expectations.
There may be no single correct answer in defining true love in any relationship. Individuals usually must realize this for themselves and actively contribute efforts toward forming a meaningful connection with their chosen partner and navigating any challenges that arise during that process.
Tips for finding true love
Finding true love can take effort and dedication. It may be essential to begin by identifying the kind of relationship you want in your life, such as a long-term partnership or something more casual. Having realistic expectations, searching for like-minded people, and knowing yourself may also be beneficial to finding someone with whom you have strong feelings and a lasting connection.
Try to take advantage of available resources by joining social clubs, attending church events, utilizing online dating sites, or venturing into your local community. Staying open-minded and not jumping into a commitment before assessing all the options can create positive opportunities for developing honest relationships.
- Don't seek romance; look for partnership
- Be yourself, always
- Don't put too much pressure on yourself or the relationship
- Take things slowly—don't rush into anything
- Keep an open mind and communicate honestly with your partner
- Spend time together doing something you both enjoy
Take care of yourself
Happy ending stories can be proof that finding happiness and lasting love may be achievable. Understanding yourself may be the first step in finding true and lasting love. Knowing who you are and what you want out of life can be vital to finding someone with whom you can have that journey. Being honest with yourself about your goals, values, and beliefs can help you make better decisions when it comes to relationships and give potential partners insight into who you are as a person.
Investing in self-care and engaging in activities that bring joy can create balance in your personal life, potentially leading to better relationship outcomes and enabling you to experience true love.
Understanding yourself first can make it easier to identify what type of partner would work best for you. You may also develop a better intuition for coping with issues should they arise during the relationship.
Remain open-minded
Once you know who you are and what type of companion would be most compatible with your lifestyle, it can be essential to remain open-minded when meeting potential partners. Just because someone isn’t exactly what you pictured doesn’t mean they won’t be able to provide the companionship and satisfaction that comes from being part of a healthy relationship.
Being open-minded when searching for friendship or romance, instead of focusing on one specific set of criteria, may widen your circle of potential companions, make it easier to fall in love, and increase your chances of finding lasting true love.
Communication can be key
No matter who your companion is or how long you have been together, communication typically remains essential for any successful relationship. It may be beneficial to establish common ground early on by discussing expectations from each other, financial responsibility within the relationship, family values and beliefs, and other areas where both parties have differing views.
Talking about these issues sooner rather than later may prevent misunderstandings down the line, potentially leading to conflict or even breaking up the relationship altogether.
Additionally, having an open dialogue may allow both parties to express their feelings without fear of judgment while also gaining a better understanding of why certain things bother them or make them happy—which can be crucial when forming solid bonds over time.
In recent years, online therapy has become a practical resource for helping people maintain and strengthen relationships and find love. Working with a therapist online can promote meaningful conversations around complex topics, potentially allowing couples to understand each other's needs and values better.
Online therapy can also enable people who may be in long-distance relationships to count on steady support. Furthermore, video conferencing can make it easy to explore common patterns in dating relationships and develop concrete strategies for navigating potential conflicts. By taking advantage of the power of online therapy, individuals may increase their insight into finding true companionship or enriching their existing connections.
Online therapy can be effective in improving relationship satisfaction and helping couples work through challenges together. Please don’t hesitate to seek the professional help you deserve if your love life has encountered difficulties.
Takeaway
What does true love mean?
Robert Sternberg, a psychologist, developed the Sternberg’s triangular theory of love in the 1980s. This theory identified seven types of love based on the levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment present:
- Friendship: Friendships don’t typically experience significant intimacy, passion, and commitment, but instead are characterized by liking.
- Infatuation: The primary component of infatuation is passion. Infatuation can describe the lust and infatuation that often occur early in relationships.
- Empty love: This type of love is characterized by commitment, without passion or intimacy. Empty love may describe a long-term relationship where partners have drifted apart from each other, both emotionally and physically.
- Romantic love: The components of romantic love primarily include intimacy and passion. Partners who have a strong emotional connection and passion, but have not made a long-term commitment to each other, may be experiencing romantic love.
- Companionate love: Companionate love includes liking and intimacy, but lacks passion. This type of love is frequently present in long-term relationships where passion and sexual desire have dissolved, but this type of love can also describe very close friends and family members.
- Fatuous love: This love occurs when commitment and passion are present, without intimacy. This might happen if you’ve experienced “love at first sight” or a whirlwind romance where you’ve quickly become committed before you can connect emotionally.
- Consummate love: This type of love is often considered “true love.” It balances all three components of the triangle, with high levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment present.
Many people experience true love at some point, but it can be challenging to maintain. It’s common in even the strongest romantic relationships to drift into companionate or empty love sometimes.
How do you know it's true love?
True love is characterized by romantic attraction (passion), emotional connection (intimacy), and planning a long-term future together (commitment). Some indicators that you’re experiencing true love include you:
- Envision your future together
- Think about them when you aren’t together
- Have deep, honest, and vulnerable discussions
- Feel emotionally connected
- Focus time and energy on your relationship
- Are attracted to and desire them
- Trust them
- Love and support them no matter what
True love is all about sharing common values and goals, genuinely understanding one another, maintaining sexual attraction and desire (for those of us who experience sexual attraction), and committing to one another.
How rare is true love?
Many people experience true love, or consummate love, at some point. But, as Robert Sternberg, Ph.D., pointed out in his triangular theory of love, true love might be easier to reach than to maintain.
For example, even strong partnerships may experience moments when distractions—such as work, illnesses, caring for children, or financial stress—arise and take away from the passion and emotional intimacy of the relationship. Often, couples reunite after stressful periods pass, or they may attend therapy to reconnect.
What is love in a real relationship?
There are many different types of relationships—such as familial relationships, romantic relationships, or friendships—and many types of love present in these relationships (often differentiated by the amount of emotional intimacy, passion, and commitment present).
In romantic relationships, love is often characterized by things like:
- A sense of trust, safety, and value in each other
- Deeply committing to one another, while simultaneously respecting individuality
- Unconditional acceptance of each other, for better and for worse
- Understanding each other
- Mutual romantic attraction and sexual fulfillment
- Wanting to spend time with one another
- Envisioning a future together
- Caring about each other, outside of how it affects oneself
True love describes a connection rooted in a deep connection, commitment, trust, and attraction toward one another. Many people experience a sense of comfort and certainty when they’re in true love.
What is the proof of true love?
True love is often associated with fairy tales, but they’re different concepts. Fairy tale love typically describes unrealistic love at first sight leading to a “happily ever after” ending. True love, in contrast, describes the evolving journey romantic relationships take as they slowly develop a relationship full of emotional connection (intimacy), attraction (passion), and commitment to a future together. True love takes continued effort from both partners.
What is real love really?
There are many different types of “real” love, including the following:
- Philia: This type of love is the emotionally intimate love that characterizes friendships, sibling relationships, or other mutually fulfilling non-romantic love.
- Eros: Eros love is a form of sexually passionate love or infatuation. It’s often present early in relationships.
- Ludus: This type of love is usually seen as playful and flirtatious, which might occur when you have a crush.
- Storage: This love is an unconditional love common in familial relationships. It usually describes the love between a parent and child.
- Philautia: This kind of love is the love of oneself. Philautic love is about honoring, respecting, and treating oneself with kindness and generosity.
- Pragma: Pragma is a form of long-term, committed love. With this type of love, partners typically have aligned values and a commitment to accept one another.
- Agape: This type of love is a form of empathetic, selfless love, which extends to those less fortunate, strangers, and higher powers (if you believe in them).
When people talk about “real love,” they’re often referring to a combination of ludus and pragma.
What is the best definition of love?
Love can be defined in many ways. For example, love might refer to feeling, behavior, or a set of emotions and behaviors. Commonly, love is defined as a profound affection, tenderness, and devotion to someone.
What is the deep meaning of love?
Love is a complex feeling and behavior that varies between types of relationships. For example, the unconditional love you have for a parent is different from the consummate love you have for your spouse or the companionate love for your best friend. In general, love refers to feelings of deep affection and attachment.
How do you show your true love?
There are many ways to show your true love besides saying “I love you.” The five love languages were developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., and describe five common ways that people prefer to give and receive love:
Words of affirmation: Words of affirmation include telling your partner you love them, writing love notes, giving compliments, encouraging them, and sharing words of appreciation.
Quality time: If your partner’s love language is quality time, they appreciate spending time together without distractions. Consider planning a phone-free date night or preparing an art project to work on together.
Acts of service: This love language is all about taking actions that make your partner’s life a little easier, such as bringing them soup when they’re sick, bringing them coffee in bed, or even charging their phone if you notice the battery running low.
Giving/receiving gifts: Gifts are often about the thought and consideration that goes into them. Giving your partner small presents, such as their favorite coffee drink or a thoughtful card, can be a powerful expression of love.
Physical touch: This love language is about physical signs of love, such as holding hands, cuddling, hugging, or intercourse. Physical connection to one another can foster greater connection, comfort, and emotional intimacy, too.
If you or your partner don’t know your love language, consider taking the free Love Language® Quiz.
How to find true love?
It can take a long time to find true love, but some tips include:
- Be the authentic version of yourself
- Identify your values
- Keep an open mind
- Take things slowly
- Get involved in your community
- Be present for the people in your life
- Spend quality time with them
- Practice self-care and positive self-talk
- Work on your self-esteem
- Embrace self-love
- Adopt healthy lifestyle practices, such as getting enough sleep, exercising, and spending time outdoors each day
While it can be difficult, it’s typically recommended that you stop looking for true love and instead focus on living the life you find most fulfilling.
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