How To Use Relationship Affirmations To Bond With Your Partner

Affirmations are positive statements believed to boost confidence and bring out people’s best traits. Although these statements often encourage self-love, some may wonder if they can also be applied to romantic relationships. Specific affirmations may increase your connection to your partner and help you maintain a loving, healthy relationship. To start, it can be crucial to have an understanding of affirmations and how they work. 

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are positive statements you make about yourself. The practice of self-affirmation is based on the theory that what you tell yourself can significantly impact your mental and emotional health. 

Affirmations can also be considered under the lens of self-talk. The more often you repeat a thought, the more likely you may be to believe it and behave differently. For example, if you tell yourself, “I’m shy,” or, “All my friends gossip about me,” you may be less likely to socialize when given the opportunity. Contrarily, if you tell yourself, “I’m confident,” or “I’m social,” you may be more likely to try to connect with others. 

Examples of positive affirmations include:

• “I am brave.”
• “I am capable.”
• “I can do hard things.”
• “I may not be perfect, but that’s okay.”
• “I deserve fulfilling relationships.”

Are affirmations scientifically proven? 

Affirmations are sometimes associated with manifestation. Manifestation is the idea that you can make your thoughts a reality by focusing on them and believing in their outcome. The concept of manifestation affirmations has not been scientifically proven. However, the benefits of positive affirmations are supported by research. In a series of studies from 2014, researchers found that affirming their personal values increased participants’ compassion toward themselves and others. 

In a different study from 2016, researchers had participants use self-affirmations while undergoing an MRI scan. They found that the affirmations increased activity in the brain’s reward centers. Because mental health research is constantly evolving, older research may have been reevaluated since its original publication. 

The benefits of relationship affirmations

Despite the research on positive self-affirmations, some may still wonder: “What about affirmations for couples? Do relationship affirmations work?” Research suggests a positive correlation.  

In a 2010 paper, researchers analyzed the results of three experiments on how affirmations between partners affected their relationships. They found that partners who affirmed each other’s innate traits had higher relationship satisfaction. This study suggests that positive statements about your partner may strengthen your relationship. 

Affirmations may also improve relationships in other ways. For example, affirming your commitment to your relationship may remind your partner of your dedication and love. Some other potential benefits may include:

• Reduced stress
• Improved emotional intimacy
• Encouragement to communicate openly about feelings
• Comfort and ease in setting healthy boundaries
• Ease in resolving conflicts
• Focus on the positive parts of the relationship

On an individual level, reminding yourself of your positive traits and abilities may also boost your self-esteem and confidence. This process may reduce negative feelings or thoughts about your relationship and improve attraction and physical connections in your relationship. 

How to use affirmations to strengthen your relationship

Using affirmations may help you forge a strong relationship between you and your partner. You may find it helpful to make positive statements about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Often, affirmation statements are personalized. However, for inspiration, the following relationship and love affirmations may be helpful: 

• “I love the way you’re so dedicated.”
• “Your smile makes me light up.”
• “I feel grateful to have you in my life.” 
• “I love spending intimate moments with you.”
• “I value you as a partner, and I feel valued by you, too.”
• “Working together to resolve conflicts makes our love stronger.” 
• “I strive to show you unconditional love every day.”

Tips for relationship affirmations 

Other best practices for relationship affirmations may include the following. 

Focus on intrinsic traits

The 2010 study mentioned above emphasized using affirmations about your partner’s innate qualities rather than their accomplishments. For example, instead of telling your partner, “I love the way you got that work promotion,” you might say, “I love how disciplined and hardworking you are.” Using their qualities instead of their actions can show you care about them beyond what they are able to accomplish or produce. 

Make affirmations a routine

Affirmations for love may work best if you build them into your daily schedule. You might try making a habit of telling your partner about an aspect you appreciate in your relationship every night. You could also try leaving them affirming notes or making it a new date night tradition. However, be mindful of your partner’s personal and comfort level.

Use affirmations during conflicts

By using affirmations during arguments, you may be able to reconnect with your love and see a situation from your partner’s perspective. An example might be, “I value our relationship, and that’s why I want to collaborate to find a  solution with which we can both agree.” You could also say, “Even though we disagree, I appreciate your thoughtfulness right now.” 

Add personal affirmations

Practicing self-love may help you cultivate loving relationships with others. If you experience relationship anxiety, reminding yourself of your positive traits may help you build confidence and a sense of calm.

Support options 

In some cases, affirmations may not sustain a satisfying relationship. Conflicts, doubts, and mental illnesses can all create challenges for couples. Seeing a therapist may help you reconnect with your values and reasons for being with your partner. 

People managing relationship challenges may want more support than they can get from a weekly therapy session face-to-face. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp (for individuals) and Regain (for couples) can allow you to use in-app messaging to contact your therapist at any time, and they will respond as soon as possible.

Research has found that online relationship counseling may be an effective alternative to in-person counseling. In a 2022 study, researchers gave 30 couples an in-person or videoconferencing-based relationship therapy program. They found that the remote therapy program led to similar improvements in relationship satisfaction and mental health.