Learning To Love Yourself: Practicing Self-Love Tips

When some people think of “self-love,” they may think it sounds selfish or self-indulgent, but developing a loving relationship with yourself can be very important for many aspects of your own life—including your physical and mental health and your emotional wellbeing. If you struggle with loving yourself, you may experience low self-esteem and low self-confidence, and you may have a hard time feeling good about yourself unless someone else is providing you with validation.

Embarking on the journey to love yourself can be challenging at times, so it may be helpful to consider a few strategies for cultivating self-love, such as being mindful, setting healthy boundaries, and focusing on your happiness. Celebrating holidays such as World Kindness Day can be a great starting point for beginning to show yourself kindness as you show it to others. Understanding the importance of self-love can help you make the right decision to prioritize your well-being and accept the reality that taking care of yourself is essential for a successful and fulfilling life.

What is self-love, and why does practicing self-love matter?

People use self-love today to mean many things. Ultimately, self-love involves self-acceptance as you are and treating yourself with love, compassion, and kindness.

Self-love is important because it can affect many areas of your own life, including your physical health, mental health, and relationships with others. By practicing self-love, you can experience joy and peace, leading to a more successful and fulfilling story in life.

Learning to love yourself: How to practice self-love for your physical and mental health

Relationships with your loved ones

When you love who you are and treat yourself with kindness, self-respect, and compassion, you may be more able to extend these same feelings toward your loved ones while also being attuned to your own needs and healthy boundaries. This can allow for healthier relationships. Research indicates that individuals possessing self-compassion display “more positive relationship behavior” than those who lacked self-love and self-compassion.

1. Try improving your self-talk 

Some people may grapple with harsh self-talk that is not loving and can even lower self-esteem. This could involve saying things such as, "I am not good at anything," "I can't do anything right," or anything else that tears them down.

If this is something you deal with, you might want to try an exercise to fill your thoughts with more positive, loving phrases. For instance, you can decide to begin your journey towards a healthier mindset by writing down 10 things that you like about yourself. It could be anything, big or small—maybe you're a great cook, you're a good listener, you are good at your job, you're a good friend, or you're a successful athlete or musician. Then, on a daily basis, stand in front of a mirror and read the list out loud to yourself. This may help you to start replacing some of the negative self-talk with more loving, positive ideas and start to feel confident about your intrinsic worth.

For another approach to improve your self-talk, consider trying the following: when you notice a thought about yourself arise, consider if you would think it about a loved one. Sometimes, many of us are harsher on ourselves than we would be on a friend. If you wouldn't say those words to your best friend, you might not want to say them about yourself either. Set boundaries for your inner dialogue and practice self-love and kindness as you would with others.

2. Practice self-love when managing a difficult feeling

If forgiving yourself is something you struggle with, it might be helpful to learn by starting small: if you often blame yourself for even minor (perceived) mistakes, it may be worth trying to forgive yourself for those first. For instance, you can try to forgive yourself for small things, like if you spill your coffee or you forget something at home. These helpful tips may help you learn how to forgive yourself for any larger things that you’re holding onto, or that may arise in your life.

For other situations, you may find it helpful to sit down and journal about the situations and the things that you are having trouble forgiving yourself for or letting go of. You can allow yourself to process certain emotions that you have from the situation, see the plain facts of the situation, and take responsibility as appropriate. As you read through what you’ve written, you may be able to see a new perspective and to gain a sense of peace.

Though it may feel difficult to do, forgiveness and letting go can be powerful forms of self-love that can extend into your relationships with your loved ones. After all, learning how to be compassionate and forgiving toward yourself can be taught, and it may allow you to be more compassionate to others, as well.

3. Track your successes to support your mental health

Another way you can start loving and respecting yourself more is to track the successes—of any size—that you have each day. By keeping track of things you’ve done well, both big and small, you may be creating opportunities to celebrate yourself and to recognize your worth. 

If you’d like to try this, you could try making a list at the end of each day of at least three things you have done well that day. These could be anything that you count as a “success:” Maybe you were a good listener to your friends, or you made a healthy dinner, or you completed a good workout, or you gave a great presentation at work. Whatever the size, try to track all of things you've accomplished and celebrate them. By doing this often, you may find that it helps you to build your confidence and love for yourself. 

Cultivating self-love through therapy: Feeling the impacts

Learning to love yourself may also involve acknowledging and addressing any unfulfilled dreams or aspirations that may be contributing to a sense of pain or dissatisfaction in your present. This may involve taking steps to pursue those dreams or finding new goals and passions to pursue. It can also involve being present in the moment and cultivating a sense of mindfulness and gratitude for the present, even while you work towards future goals. Listening to diverse voices and perspectives, such as those from your therapist or even your life coach, can contribute to a greater sense of self-love and fulfillment.

Practicing self-love with online therapy