Is Manifesting Love Possible? Exploring This And The Law Of Attraction

You may have heard of the manifestation of love in pop culture—the idea that people can attract certain outcomes or energies to their future selves via certain practices or mindsets. While there may be some science behind the concept of manifestation, this idea may have harmful impacts when used to connect in unhealthy relationships or "convince" a person who isn't interested to be with you. Learning more about the science behind manifestation and how to find healthy love may be helpful if you are interested in the ideas behind this practice.

What is manifesting?

According to the Berkeley Well-Being Institute, manifestation is the act of turning a dream or idea into reality via thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Made popular by influencers and astrologists like Lisa Stardust, people may partake in rituals or specifically structured visualization meditations to attract good feelings or specific outcomes when manifesting. 

Manifesting is based on the belief system that believing “enough” in an outcome or mentally imagining certain scenarios can make them more likely to occur in your life. Some people hope to use manifesting for career plans, money, and success. For example, someone might try to manifest a million dollars. Others may try to use it for love.  

Exploring the law of attraction and science behind manifestation

The law of attraction is a theory that what you think about, work toward, and believe in will come true. It can also mean that “like attracts like.” For example, a high-vibration person may tend to attract another high-vibration individual. Because scientists know the universe is made of energy, the law of attraction posits that humans can manipulate this energy by changing their mindset to fit the kind of energy they want to have in their lives. According to this law, positive energy attracts positive energy, and negative energy attracts negative.

Spiritual manifestation may not have proof behind it, but visualization, meditation, speaking positive words of intention, mindfulness, and intense focus could increase one’s chances of success in some areas of life. When a topic takes up a lot of your energy, you may be more likely to take steps to achieve its goals. However, in relationships, manifestation can become more challenging. 

Is it possible to manifest love with a dream partner?

How manifesting works for you may depend on your spiritual beliefs and whether you connect with the law of attraction. Since these are both theories, they aren’t 100% certain, but some people may find success with them. In particular, using the mind to create an attitude of gratitude can be beneficial to mood and mental health. Focusing your faith and energy to make your dreams come true may have more mixed results. 

Manifesting love or a dream partner, in general, may be possible through seeking a partner and having confidence in your pursuit. It's about finding the right path and taking aligned action that resonates with your deepest emotions and desires. However, manifesting love with a specific person may not be healthy or possible, as free will, choice, and consent are essential in forming a healthy relationship with another person. It's crucial to decide on what you want, use patience, and look for a sign while not letting past hurt deter you. Feeling worthy of love and exercising patience are key.

Thinking about a specific person often, performing rituals to connect with their energy, or believing you are destined to be with someone can be unhealthy if it leads to behaviors like obsession (even to the point of dangerous behavior like stalking) or difficulty moving on after you’ve faced rejection. Instead, use your inner power to maintain healthy dating dynamics and find a true match. With self-awareness, mindfulness, and the right course of action, you could fall in love with the person that suits you best. 

Healthy ways to manifest love may include the following: 

• Journaling about the physical and emotional qualities you want in a partner, listing your ideal partner’s traits, such as blue eyes, strong arms, or empathy (creating a manifestation list)
• Writing a love letter to your future partner 
• Lighting a candle and meditating about the future partner you want 
• Writing a contract with the universe to bring you healthy, true love with a new partner 
• Singing songs that remind you of your ideal partner 
• Asking the universe, your “spirit team,” or a deity for support in finding love
• Going to therapy to better yourself for a healthier relationship in the future 
• Using a love deck of oracle cards to learn more about your connection to spirituality and love 

The unhealthy culture surrounding “twin flames”

Lately, thanks at least in part to social media trends, “twin flame” culture has become more popular. Behind the belief of a twin flame is the idea that each person has another half of their soul living on earth—an ideal partner they “must” meet to learn more about themselves and grow. This person is said to be the “perfect mate” and a mirror of yourself. However, the limiting beliefs behind a “twin flame” can be harmful when they disregard the imperfections of humanity, free will, and nuance. 

People are not perfect, and finding your dream person may be challenging. In addition, the intense love, co-dependence, and black-and-white labeling of twin-flame connections can mimic patterns often seen at the beginning of emotionally abusive relationships. The right person for you may not be someone you meet overnight who makes your life chaotic but someone who brings love and helps you commit to healthy self-reflection and new beliefs about love. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Ways to find healthy love

Finding healthy love and an ideal love interest doesn’t often happen overnight but is often possible with honest effort, goal setting, and caution. Below are a few steps for finding healthy relationships. 

Work toward a secure attachment

Insecure attachment styles may lead to individuals being more likely to get into unhealthy relationships or accept the first partner that comes their way. People with an anxious attachment style may struggle to live without a partner, becoming anxious and fearful of abandonment. People with an avoidant attachment style may avoid actual vulnerability and fear closeness. Those with a disorganized attachment style will go back and forth between avoidant and anxious tendencies. 

All three attachment styles are insecure but can be changed to form a secure attachment with therapy, education, and time. 

Take relationships slowly

Moving quickly in relationships can be unhealthy if you don’t get to know someone profoundly before becoming deeply attached. People often put their best self forward in the first few months of a relationship, and more unhealthy patterns can appear over time. If you have moved in with someone quickly, decided to get married, or jumped into a relationship with someone you don’t know well, it could lead to conflict and challenges down the line when you find out all the things that come along with close contact over time. 

Listen to your intuition

At the beginning of a relationship with someone or when looking for a partner, listen to your intuition when it shows up, and don’t write off any unsure feelings. The intense chemical reactions that occur in the brain when love, desire, and infatuation set in can seem addicting, which may lead some people to ignore red flags when they appear. 

By taking a relationship slowly and listening when your mental alarms go off, you may avoid getting into unhealthy relationships or repeating unhealthy attachment patterns. 

Learn to live alone

If you notice you’re terrified of being alone or believe life is only enjoyable when you’re in a relationship, you might be living with attachment anxiety. Learning to spend time alone while loving your energy and building self-worth can be crucial to understanding what you want and like in relationships. When you have a strong sense that you matter, you can better understand how to live with someone else and get the love you deserve. Live your life how you want to and get to know yourself. You might find someone in the process of being authentically you more than you might if you try to force a relationship. 

Talk to a therapist

Relationships and love can be challenging. You’re not alone if you’re unsure how to build secure attachments and find healthy love. Too often, people look at therapy as a final step when all else has failed. However, talking to a therapist about these challenges may be a productive way to grow and begin to be ready for the type of love you manifest. 

Some people may face barriers to therapy in their area, such as a lack of insurance or difficulty getting to sessions. In these cases, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples may be beneficial. Online therapy platforms can provide cost-effective therapy from home or anywhere with an internet connection. In addition, through an online platform, you can build relationship skills with courtesy group sessions, worksheets, and journaling prompts alongside one phone, video, or live chat session with a therapist per week. 

Studies show that online therapy can be effective in treating attachment wounds. One study found that it was as effective as face-to-face therapy in reducing attachment anxiety and avoidance in clients.