Physical Touch And Other Love Languages To Show Affection
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air. It’s the time of year when many of us descend upon the department store in search of chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears. Some couples might have a fancy date night in store, or a lavish gift they have picked out for their partner.
Others might be content with a lazy night indoors watching television and being close to each other.
There are a variety of ways for individuals to express affection and intimate moments with their romantic partners. Each of us has a preferred way to express love for our partner. This is known as love language.
This article aims to define love languages and what the different types of love languages are. There are many physical gestures and expressions that make up each of our love languages. This article also aims to explore how to find out what love language suits you and your romantic relationship.
What is a love language?
If you’re reading this article, you likely speak and understand a language. A language is simply a means of communication. Love languages are just as simple. Love languages are the ways you communicate your love to others, whether it be friends, family, or romantic partners.
Figuring out your own love language in addition to your partner’s preferred love language can be crucial to a successful romantic relationship. When you and your partner’s love languages are on the same page and you both find ways to meet these needs, the relationship is far more successful.
Five love languages to show affection
There are five recognized love languages according to the originator of the idea, Gary Chapman, Ph.D
Here are the five recognized love languages:
Words of affirmation
This love language entails showering verbal praise on your partner and giving them reminders that they matter to you. This can be especially beneficial if you have a partner who might require reassurance more often than others, possibly due to prior trauma and abuse.
Acts of service
Most of us enjoy doing favors and going out of our way to help out the ones who matter most to us. An act of service could be as small as being the designated driver for your partner’s trip to the bar, doing yard work and household chores for your partner, and a variety of others.
Giving and receiving gifts
Some partners love to have a visual representation of their partner’s love. It could be as simple as picking them up a hot pizza or buying them tickets to see their favorite band. Giving gifts is also an important aspect of love language.
Quality time
Individuals with this love language are often content merely being in the presence of their partner. Practicing active listening and clearing off your schedule to make time for your partner are both examples of quality time love language in action. For partners who show love via quality time, a date night might entail something as simple as sitting at home watching Netflix.
Physical touch (hug, embrace, hold)
This is the preferred love language of those who pay special attention to body language. These partners enjoy hugs, holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy. People who prefer this type of love language might appreciate public displays of affection as well.
Examining the many love languages in your life
There are a host of benefits to finding out your love language and finding out your partner’s love language as well. In addition to the obvious benefits it has for your current relationship, becoming attuned to your and your partner’s love languages can also increase our capacity for empathy, our ability to connect with others, and our gratitude as well.
Many of us will read the list of five love languages and find that more than one applies to what we would like in a partner. For some of us, all five are crucial to a successful relationship.
Identifying one’s love language
To identify one’s own love language, it can be beneficial to look back on your prior relationships and analyze what you liked or did not like about your partner’s behavior. Perhaps it bothered you that your partner rarely or never said “I love you,” or you might have been hurt when a partner forgot to get you a birthday present. Take note of these things and how they made you feel and use these experiences to figure out your own love language and how to apply it to future relationships.
Love languages are like any language. It can be frustrating when what you’re trying to communicate to someone is not understood, and vice versa. This is why love language is crucial. The proof is in the science: paying attention to your partner’s love language can increase satisfaction in romantic relationships.
The many facets of physical touch
One aspect of the various love languages that might cause confusion is that of physical touch. It is important to remember that physical touch as a love language is not merely the same thing as sex. Many of us might feel more loved when we receive non-sexual physical contact such as hugs. However, sexuality and meeting your partner’s physical and sexual needs can also be an important part of love language.
Hug, hold, and embrace
Hugging and holding hands are simple ways to show someone your love and care non-verbally. It is often done casually on loved ones and friends to show support and love.
Massage
Massaging is another way to express your love. A consensual massage offers relief to a loved one who is tired and stressed. It can be a way to initiate intimacy between partners, or simply a small favor to someone platonically.
Caress and cuddle to show affection
Caressing and cuddling, just like all touch, can be forms of love as well. It can help to create a sense of closeness and proximity with your partner. It promotes feelings of stability, warmth, and comfort between partners.
If your partner’s love language is not touch, try one of the other love languages. There are also resources to explore that could make you or your partner more comfortable with physical touch, such as therapy. Some ways to explore physical touch are starting small with hand holding or cuddling. It is crucial to communicate with your partner to figure out their love language.
How therapy can help
Maybe you don’t have the adequate relationship experience to be quite sure of your language at this point in time. Perhaps you are having trouble finding partners who have your preferred method of expressing love. If this is the case, there are resources available. Research has shown that therapy can help to improve communication between partners in romantic relationships, allowing for more satisfying and longer-lasting relationships overall.
Online therapy is one option at your disposal. Connecting with a licensed mental health professional can help us figure out our love language and understand ourselves and our partners better. It can also give us insight into the safe ways to explore physical touch and establish boundaries.
Takeaway
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I crave physical touch?
Research has shown that the production of oxytocin, which is commonly known as the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone” can be triggered through physical touch. Oxytocin is good for lowering stress levels, establishing bonds, and promoting trust which can be a reason why some people may crave physical touch with their partner or loved ones.
How do people who like physical touch show love?
For those who like to express their love through physical touch, it is found that physical affection like holding hands, giving hugs, and getting massages are some of the common ways to express love and affection.
How to ask for physical intimacy?
Communicate with them and express your feelings if you want to ask for physical intimacy from someone.
Why does cuddling and touching turn him on?
Cuddling and touching among partners can trigger love and sex hormones. Cuddles and simple touches can set your partner’s body to be aroused intimately due to the sensation.
Does physical touch indicate attraction and intimacy?
Yes. Expressing your physical attraction, or support to your spouse can be conveyed by actions like caressing their hair, hugging their neck, or even brushing against their bare leg, unless the physical act is stated to be purely platonic.
How do you initiate an intimate hug or embrace?
Start by making eye contact. One indication of showing intimacy is by placing your head against or on top of someone. If you want to give a passionate hug, tilt your head to the side and lean in and then spread your arms to show that you'd like to be hugged.
How to platonically hold, caress, massage, and cuddle?
If you wish to show love for someone that you don’t have attraction to romantically, simply make it clear that your act is purely platonic and without any more intentions. Platonic friends hold and cuddle each other, which is normal in some cultures.
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