How To Share Your Feelings And Emotions
Expressing love for someone through language can be an effective way to feel closer to them. For those whose love language is words of affirmation, it may feel exciting, romantic, or meaningful to hear a partner telling their feelings.
If you struggle to express your feelings or open up with language, there are a few strategies you can try that can guide you on how to express love.
Get in touch with your emotions: How to share your feelings
Getting in touch with your emotions is a potential first step to feeling comfortable expressing what you love about someone. Studies show that suppressing or ignoring your emotions may cause mental and physical health concerns. Learning how to identify your emotions can benefit you in many ways.
Properly express your feelings
You could feel that it's hard to properly communicate what you're feeling if you don't know what you're feeling. Learning to label emotions by their physical sensations or the actions that often accompany them may be helpful to you. Additionally, research shows that just labeling your emotions can positively impact your mental health.
When interacting with your partner, you might think, "There are so many reasons why I love you!" However, you may struggle to verbalize this or feel shame or embarrassment for struggling to express your feelings.
Reflecting and researching how to share your feelings
Before you start communicating the things you love about an essential person in your life, spend some time reflecting and researching. Consider making a chart of emotions with graphics to help you when you need to express what you're feeling.
Contemplate what your life was like without the person you care about. Think of how they have made you a better person and improved your quality of life. Think through how you feel when you are with them and how it would feel to lose them. Don't just think of general ideas and feelings. Take the time to think about the details and get specific about them.
For example, you might say, "I felt extremely elated when we went to the amusement park for my birthday. Seeing you smile and spending quality time together felt so comforting."
Once you get in touch with your emotions, you may feel more able to discover why you love the person you are with and have a clear idea of how to share your feelings.
Consider the little things in your life
At times, you may feel so intimidated by the idea of telling why you love someone that you don't do it. It may be worth remembering that expressing your feelings doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. In healthy relationships, the person in your life will likely be happy just to hear you say, "I love you, and you have made my life so much better. I'm happy that I know you."
Know that your emotions matter
You might send your feelings through a quick text or write them on a sticky note. For example, you could consider sending a sweet message that says, "reasons I love you," with a list of why you think this individual is unique and special to you.
Sincerely communicate
You can communicate love however you want or need. Any form of communication may be better than none. You might start with something small, such as thanking someone for something they've recently done.
Don't overthink about your feelings
Try not to overthink what you are trying to say. You don't have to have the perfect words like you're in a romantic movie, and it doesn't have to sound like poetry to truly express your emotions.
Many individuals love to hear positive things about themselves. The person you love may be glad to hear what you share with them, even if it isn't eloquent or precisely the same as they would have said it.
Don't hesitate to share
When you realize that you love someone, expressing your feelings with them may seem like a risk. You might feel hesitant because you don't want to lose the feeling or the person.
Let them know how you feel
In some relationships, there may not be a perfect time or way to say, "I love you, and here are the reasons why." The moment may pass if you don't express love when you are feeling it. You could find relief in letting your feelings of love motivate you into action.
Take it easy if you are just starting out
If you are telling someone that you love them for the first time, you may find it easier if you don't get too deep. You don't need to say, "here are all the reasons why I love you," if you're not used to it.
Instead, in a gentle and calming voice, you might reassure someone by stating something like the following:
- "You are so special to me."
- "Thank you for being in my life."
- "I adore you."
- "I love you so much."
- "I always have fun when I'm with you."
- "Being with you is so exciting."
- "You're my best friend in the whole world."
- "Words can't describe what you mean to me."
Small phrases can have impactful meanings, just like longer ones.
What to say in a long-term relationship
If you've already told your partner numerous times that you love them, you might find that saying those three words has little impact. If this is the case, you may try breaking from your routine and expressing your feelings in a more specific way.
Things to remember
Consider the impact the person makes on your life. For example, perhaps they make life joyful or watch out for you during challenging times. You can say this or show your appreciation through a gift or gesture.
Actions and words
You might show love in small actions, like cooking their favorite meal or surprising them with a small gift when they least expect it. If your partner loves to hear words of affirmation, you might write them a long love letter and deliver it with flowers and a teddy bear.
Expressing your feelings and emotions during challenging times
You're not alone if you find yourself going through rough times in your relationship. The Gottman Institute asserts many relationships have small arguments or disagreements, and many couples struggle at times.
Individuals may process negative things differently, so you might start by accepting your feelings when facing challenges in your relationship. When you feel ready, you can approach your partner confidently, communicating openly that you want to work on the relationship.
You might share your feelings for someone during this time by making statements like:
- "I know it has been hard lately, but you still mean the world to me."
- "We can get through this together."
- "We are a team, and I love working together with you."
- "My end goal is happiness and contentment in our relationship."
- "I love you just the same as I did when we met, if not more."
Your partner may appreciate words of love and positivity when things get rough.
Getting support for relationship concerns
If you're struggling to express emotions in a healthy manner, help is available. You can ask your friends or family for advice, but it's often not the same as getting professional guidance. Consider reaching out to a counselor to get support.
Many couples find that busy schedules or budget concerns lead to not having the time or money to go to therapy. If this is something you relate to, consider online therapy as an avenue to support your mental health.
Online therapy
If communication challenges are causing you to experience anxiety, know that online therapy has been demonstrated to be as effective as traditional in-person therapy for anxiety and depression.
Through a platform such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you can talk to a professional therapist who specializes in your area of concern. Doing so may be particularly helpful if you've never spoken to a therapist and are nervous about going into an office.
Takeaway
When you love someone, do your best to tell them how you feel. You could have butterflies in your stomach and not know the right words to say. Try not to be a perfectionist, and slow down to consider your deepest emotions. Your partner may appreciate any effort you make.
If you're struggling in your relationship, therapy is also an option. Consider reaching out to a counselor to get support.
How do you share your feelings with someone you love?
Sharing your feelings with someone you love is often a crucial part of maintaining a healthy interpersonal relationship, even if the feelings are difficult to express or may be challenging for the other person to hear. It’s typically helpful to stick to healthy communication tips and to remember that the other person may find communicating about feelings difficult, even if they are positive.
It is often helpful to plan what you are going to say in advance. In many cases, you may be able to communicate your feelings through writing, which may be easier for either you or the listener. Whatever medium you choose, take time to carefully consider the words you will use to communicate how you feel. Think about the impact they would have on you and try to take the perspective of the person with whom you are communicating. While sharing feelings is often beneficial, it’s typically important to make sure those feelings are communicated in a healthy, kind, empathetic way.
How to express difficult emotions?
If you’re trying to express difficult emotions, you may want to consider sharing them in writing. Writing out your feelings gives you a chance to choose your words carefully and better gaurantee that you are perceived in the way you intend. If you choose to communicate your feelings verbally, take time to ensure that you are calm and ready to use healthy communication strategies. Even if you are expressing difficult emotions, communicating in an aggressive or confrontational manner is unlikely to be helpful. Try to focus on making your communication kind, empathetic, and straightforward. If you need to take a break from the conversation, feel free to do so. Taking a break and returning when calm is almost always better than trying to continue a conversation that is becoming hostile.
How to express emotions in a healthy way?
Expressing emotions in a healthy way often starts with using good emotional management strategies. It is often helpful to ensure that you are calm, collected, and ready to share your feelings using kind communication strategies. It is also often helpful to understand what triggers you emotionally. Encountering a trigger may make it harder to use healthy communication strategies and make you more vulnerable to communication that is aggressive or overwhelming to others.
When you’re ready to express your emotions, do so calmly and directly. Use plain language that clearly expresses how you feel and why you feel that way. Ask for support if you need it. It’s possible the person with whom you’re sharing your feelings may not react in the way you hope or expect, so be prepared to exit the conversation if your emotions begin to escalate. You might also consider expressing your emotions in writing. Writing your feelings gives you a chance to review your words carefully and to better ensure your message will be received in the way you intend. Written communication also reduces the chances of emotional flare-ups that may lead to unhealthy emotional expression.
How to let out your feelings?
It may be helpful to learn some relaxation techniques to release pent-up emotion in a healthy, calming way. You might also consider leaning on your support network and discussing your feelings with trusted friends or family. If you are expressing your feelings verbally, it is typically helpful to ensure you are calm and collected before discussing how you feel. In some cases, venting to a supportive person can be helpful, but it can also significantly worsen mental and physical well-being if used too often. Generally, it is most helpful to invest in self-soothing strategies to ensure you can communicate your feelings in a healthy way.
How do I express my feelings to someone I like?
Expressing your feelings to someone you like can sometimes be daunting, but many healthy relationships begin with a clear expression of your feelings. It may be helpful to think about how you want to express your feelings in advance, giving yourself ample time to think about what you want to say. It may also be helpful to prepare yourself for rejection; it’s possible that your feelings won’t be returned. However, that doesn’t mean that the person will reject your feelings outright.
When you communicate how you feel, do so calmly and directly. Be honest about why you feel the way you do and what you would like to happen moving forward. If you’re pursuing a romantic relationship, it may be tempting to utilize grand romantic gestures or other displays of affection, but it many cases it is more beneficial to simply be honest, polite, and direct.
Why is it so hard to explain my feelings?
Explaining feelings is typically associated with vulnerability, which can introduce trepidation and stress into emotional expression. Dismissing or invalidating a person’s genuine feelings is sometimes a form of social rejection, which can induce anger, anxiety, depression, and sadness. Avoiding this outcome is likely a reason why expressing feelings can be challenging. There is an element of fear involved, and overcoming that fear is typically a crucial part of expressing emotion.
Why am I so bad at communicating my feelings?
It may also be possible that you are not confident in your emotional communication skills, which can increase the risk that your feelings will be rejected or misunderstood. You might find it worthwhile to look into how to improve your emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence consists of social awareness, social skills, self-awareness, and self-regulation. Improving it may make emotional communication substantially easier.
How to express hurt feelings in words?
If your feelings are hurt, it is typically best to ensure that your initial emotional reaction is under control before taking any additional steps. Take time to ensure you are calm, collected, and have a clear understanding of what you would like to communicate. It’s often best to avoid blame or confrontation. Instead, simply communicate that your feelings were hurt, what hurt them, and how the hurt can be remedied. If the person you are communicating with didn’t intend to hurt your feelings, they will likely respond with an apology or other validating message. If, however, the person intended to hurt your feelings or doesn’t care that their actions hurt you, it may not be worth communicating your feelings to them. You might find that practicing self-care and talking with supportive friends or family might help resolve your feelings better than continuing to engage with the person who hurt you.
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