What Is Manifestation?

As self-improvement gains popularity, more and more people are exploring alternative methods to improve their lives, achieve their dreams, and find love. Manifestation—the idea that you make your desires real with the power of thought—is one of these methods. But what exactly is manifestation, and can it really be used to summon love? 

What is manifestation?

You may have heard the term “manifestation” come up in conversations about wellness and personal development. For example, a person who believes in manifestation might decide what they want and match the frequency of their feelings to their goals. They may then notice signs of their dreams coming true, which can be both healing and affirming. The emotions you associate with your goals—hope, joy, fulfillment—can also be influential in putting you in the space necessary to attract and create what you've manifested.

In the context of the self-improvement world, manifestation is the idea that you can achieve your desired goals by focusing your energy, intention, and thoughts on what you want.

Popularized by books like “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, it centers on the belief that your thoughts can shape your reality. It is similar to the law of attraction: – the idea that positive thinking can lead to positive things, while negative thinking can lead to negative things. 

Different people may have different methods of using manifestation. In general, the basic practice involves: 

• Defining desires: The first step of manifestation is usually to define what it is that you want. It is encouraged to be as clear and specific as possible when defining what you want in a manifestation list. For example, instead of saying, “I want to live in a big city,” you might say, “I want to live in a high-rise in Manhattan.”

• Visualizing: Visualization is the act of imagining what you want as if you already have it. You might picture the details of the scene when it happens or the emotions you’ll feel when you achieve your goal. 

• Positive affirmations: Positive affirmations are another popular manifestation practice. These are positive, present-tense statements you make to yourself as though they are true. Some common examples might include, “I am confident,” “I am worthy,” or “I have my dream job.” Repeating these statements is thought to help make them come true. 

• Clearing limiting beliefs: Limiting beliefs are beliefs that are thought to get in the way of manifestation. Some common examples may include, “I’m just unlucky,” “It’s not meant to be,” or “I’m not good enough.” Many people work on removing these types of beliefs as part of their manifestation process. 

• Practicing detachment: In manifestation, detachment is the concept of letting go of the outcome and trusting the universe to give you what you want. Recognizing that letting go is one of the most important things may promote a feeling of freedom and trust in the process. Practicing detachment may be believed to make your manifestations come true faster.

These are a few of the most common steps people may use to practice manifestation. That said, the practice may look different depending on the person and their preferences. In many cases, you can seek support from a meditation teacher, manifestation coach, or reiki master for manifestation techniques. 

Is it possible to manifest love?

Whether you actively practice manifestation or you’re simply curious about it, a common question centers on whether manifesting love is possible. It can be tempting to think that by visualizing a specific person or practicing affirmations, you can gain their love. However, trying to manifest love may not be the best approach. 

Manifestation has not been scientifically proven, and people’s success stories of manifesting love may be due to confirmation bias, the brain’s natural tendency to hold onto and seek out information that confirms something you already believe. 

The mental health effects

In any case, love can be a complex emotion that involves various factors. Believing you can compel someone to fall in love with you may set you up for disappointment and unhealthy views about relationships. Obsessing over manifesting your ideal love interest may also have mental health effects, such as:

• Damaged self-esteem or self-worth

• Anxiety

• Anger and frustration

• Depression

• Unrealistic ideas about relationships

• Neglecting other types of love, like familial and platonic love

• Over-reliance on manifestation to find loving relationships

For these reasons, it can be important to make sure you’re keeping your relationship with manifestation healthy and realistic. 

However, just because manifestation may not magically summon your dream partner doesn’t necessarily mean manifestation techniques are useless. If used in a healthy way, visualization, positive thinking, and affirmations may all be helpful tools when looking for love. 

Using manifestation techniques while dating

Although manifestation may not make love happen overnight, you can still apply manifestation techniques to your dating journey. These may help you approach romance with confidence, clarity, and a positive mindset. Some ways you can do this may include:

Defining the type of relationship you want

Envisioning a future partner with clarity and specificity can help make it easier to find a true love that resonates with your desires and what you believe you deserve. Reflect on what you’re seeking in a partner. Something casual? Long-term? What traits, hobbies, and goals would you like your partner to have? If you have a clear idea of what you want, you may be able to take aligned action and more easily identify those traits in another person.

Visualizing your ideal relationship

In this case, visualizing the final step could mean picturing yourself in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. What would you be like? What positive traits would you bring out in your partner? How would they make you feel? What positive traits would they bring out in you? Acting on those traits may help you connect with people who has the same mindset. 

Positive affirmations

Similarly, using affirmations to bring out your positive features may help you feel more comfortable being the best version of yourself. Consider starting a self-love routine using a daily affirmation. You could choose something simple, like “I am confident,” or something more elaborate, like “I attract good people into my life.”

Clearing limiting beliefs

Negative or self-defeating thoughts may make it harder to connect with others. Take some time to make a list of any negative beliefs you have about yourself or your ability to find love. Then, go through your list and challenge each one. What evidence do you have to support this thought? Is it possible that you might be wrong? Developing a more positive mindset about relationships may help you get on the right path. 

Practicing detachment

Detaching from outcomes can be tricky, especially in the search for a relationship. However, focusing too hard on finding the perfect person may lead to more stress and frustration. Instead, focus on living your best life, socializing, and doing what interests you. You may find that romantic love will emerge when you least expect it. 

These practices, from putting your intention into the universe to feeling the energy of your desires, can sometimes be easier said than done. Yet, the important thing is to remember that each aligned action brings you closer to what you hope and believe to be true. Negative self-talk can be hard to quiet down, and sometimes affirmations alone aren’t enough to develop optimism and self-confidence. Working with a relationship coach or therapist may be a useful way to identify what’s holding you back, reframe your ideas about yourself, and look for love with a more positive state of mind. 

Reach out to an online therapist for support

That said, being on the dating scene can be time-consuming. If you also work a full-time job, you may find it hard to find time to commute to a therapist’s office. Online therapy may make it easier. Through platforms like BetterHelp, you can attend therapy from wherever is most convenient—no commute needed. You can also choose a format that works for you, like video calls, voice calls, or in-app messaging. 

Research on online therapy's effectiveness for improved self-image

Studies suggest that online therapy can be an effective treatment for challenges that may interfere with dating, like low confidence and self-image. In a 2023 study, researchers gave 15 participants with low self-esteem an internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) program. Afterward, participants reported improved self-image and a greater sense of agency. They also reported an increased sense of connection to others and a stronger ability to manage negative thoughts.