When Cute “Puppy Love” Wears Off, What's Next?
When relationships begin, they are often full of attraction, infatuation, and maybe even love. Some call this “cute love” or “puppy love.” The sky often seems brighter, the world may be more colorful, and you may not be able to keep a smile off your face. The relationship generally hasn’t faced challenges yet, and therefore has usually not matured into a deeper stage. Once the cute love wears off, you may either continue the relationship or choose to break up. For help strengthening your relationship, you may wish to work with a couples therapist.
What is the adorable cute love stage?
During the cute love stage, you may feel as though this is the greatest love you’ve ever imagined. You may focus on the things you have in common, begin to build a relationship, and start to get to know each other on a deeper level. Neurochemicals are usually flowing into our brains during the puppy love phase, which can make us feel good – and potentially lead us to overlook possible compatibility issues. This can be the stage that many people associate with love. However, relationships rarely stay in the cute love or puppy love stage forever.
The transition from puppy love (or “puppy luv”) to reality
Generally, this puppy love stage can last anywhere from two months to two years. Once your relationship is nearing the end of this stage, however, the initial feelings can start to wear off. When that happens, you may begin noticing flaws in the other person or realize you read them wrong in the beginning. The little quirks and things you used to think were "cute" may suddenly become annoying. During this post-puppy love stage, many people wonder if they have made a mistake and sometimes question if it’s really the right relationship for them.
At this point, it may be time to either end the relationship and look for love somewhere else or move past the cute love stage and continue forward, flaws and all.
Breaking up when affection wears off
Deciding to break up when cute love wears off can be both easy and difficult, depending on your relationship. It can be easy because you may have yet to form a committed relationship with the other person. Your relationship may not have yet stood the test of time, and you may not have had to overcome any major obstacles together. This usually makes it much easier to separate.
If you have only been together for a couple of months, it can be much easier than if you have been together for a few years.
Emotional challenges of breaking up despite affection
Another difficult factor can be if you want to break up, but your partner wants to stay together. You may look at them as just a friend at this point, but they may still love you. Chances are, even if you are ready to end the relationship, you may not yet be in a place where you want to hurt the other person's feelings, potentially making this an awkward and difficult conversation to have.
Once you break up, you may find love somewhere else. However, the potential problem is that every relationship may go through the same cute love stage, and if you continue to end the relationship every time this phase is over, you may never find a long-lasting relationship. True love can usually only be reached when you have moved past the puppy love stage and committed to the other person.
This doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't break up with the person you are with if you are past the puppy love stage. You should generally only move forward with someone with whom you can commit to working through difficult situations and exercising healthy communication and boundaries. If you realize that your current partner is not that person, then it is often better to end the relationship, instead of building a committed relationship only to have it end later.
Sticking together in love and friendship
When you reach the point of moving past cute love and decide that you want to stick it out with the other person, the hard work may begin. This need not be a bad thing, but it's likely something you need to be realistic about. When your relationship progresses from puppy love to the next stage, you may need to have a new level of commitment and determination in your interactions. This can be the point when your relationship may face difficulties and obstacles, even if it's just that the initial fun and attraction of the relationship has worn off. However, if you're willing to put the work into the relationship, this is often when you can start to move toward a relationship that may stand the test of time. Here are some recommendations for growing a relationship past the stages of cute love or puppy love and into a deep, fulfilling, and healthy relationship.
Find the balance between "I" and "we"
Relationships usually work best when both people know who they are. You should know who you are and love and respect who your significant other is. Then you may need to work on building the "we" in your relationship, allowing you both to maintain your own personalities while being stronger together.
Setting boundaries of the heart
Boundaries should generally be things that both of you agree on and exercise together to maintain throughout your relationship or as a family.
Continue spending time together and cuddle
Once you move past the cute love stage, it can be easy to stop spending as much time together. You may continue to coexist in a relationship but go about things on your own. This may put distance between the two of you and potentially cause problems in your relationship.
Be honest
Open and honest communication can be the key to a healthy, loving relationship. Withholding information can be the same as lying, and it may pick away at your solid relationship. Once trust is broken, it is usually very hard to restore.
Look for cute and adorable ways to show your partner you love them
Once you’re past the cute love stage, it can be easy to take the other person for granted and stop spending the time to show them you love them. You might look for ways to communicate love to the other person, continue to play together and check in with each other. This could be spending quality time with them, buying them gifts, cooking their favorite meals, or showing them you're thinking of them and appreciate them. You might remember the things that your partner enjoyed when you were in the cute love stage and do those things for them now.
Discerning puppy dog love from real love in therapy
If you are struggling to move past the cute love stage but are committed to doing so, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist. They can help you assess your relationship and see what next steps may need to be taken to help you continue.
Recent research points to online therapy as a potentially helpful way of providing couples therapy for those experiencing relationship and love issues.
Benefits of online therapy for couples navigating puppy dog love
According to one study, online couples therapy can lead to an increase in communication and overall relationship satisfaction.
Researchers noted that online therapy can help individuals circumvent common barriers to in-person treatment, including perceived stigma, high costs, and logistical issues. Online therapy can empower you and your partner to get the relationship help you deserve from the comfort of home or any location with an internet connection.
Takeaway
Is puppy love considered to be the same as first love?
Puppy love isn’t necessarily the same thing as a person’s first love. While your first love may be categorized as puppy love, not all puppy love is first love.
How long does the dog-inspired stage of puppy love last?
Puppy love, sometimes referred to as infatuation or the honeymoon phase, often lasts anywhere from a few weeks to two years.
What is the importance of puppy love for a youthful heart?
Although puppy love may not be as deep or meaningful as other types of love, it’s usually a necessary stage for all relationships before they gain depth.
How do you deal with puppy love?
If your child is experiencing puppy love, it can be best to listen to them and take them seriously. However, it can be important to talk to them about how to navigate relationships in a safe and healthy way.
Is puppy love permanent?
Puppy love usually isn’t permanent. It’s typically a temporary stage of a relationship similar to a honeymoon phase.
What is another word for puppy love?
Puppy love can also be referred to as infatuation, being smitten with someone, or the honeymoon phase.
The 2023 movie Puppy Love, starring Lucy Hale as Nicole and Grant Gustin as Max, plays on this phrase with its plotline. After these two experience a disastrous first date, they know that they’re not a love match, and they decide to lose each other’s numbers.
However, their dogs end up finding love–and now, there are puppies on the way! It’s time for Lucy Hale and Grant Gustin to step up and become responsible co-parents.
But will the hilariously mismatched Nicole and Max vow to remain responsible co-parents, or will they date and fall in love themselves? This movie from Amazon Freevee, which was filmed in Canada, had a release date of August 18, 2023 and was written by Greg Glienna.
How strong is puppy love and the need to cuddle?
Puppy love tends to be very intense, but it often lacks depth.
What is the difference between puppy love and real love?
Puppy love may be more like infatuation, whereas real love often requires a combination of commitment, passion, and intimacy.
Is puppy love real love?
While puppy love can often develop into real love, it usually doesn’t have all the components of real love.
Why do people call it puppy love or “puppy luv”?
The term puppy love may have originated from the way a puppy adores its owner.
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