Why Daughter Love Is Important: Effects Of Mothers' Parenting On Daughters
The relationship between mother and daughter is often one of the first and most impactful bonds a person will form in their lifetime. Studies have linked a person’s overall satisfaction in some of the most meaningful areas of life to their perceived relationship with their mother. In addition to having positive impacts on role satisfaction and self-esteem, a generally positive relationship between mother and child can buffer the negative effects of challenging life circumstances, including child poverty. Whether you are a mother, daughter, or both, working with a therapist online may help you with any parenting-related mental health challenges.
The impact of mother-daughter relationships
The study also revealed an apparent lack of correlation between a mother’s role choice and her daughter’s. Put simply, a woman whose mother chose the role of being a homemaker will not necessarily choose to become a homemaker herself. Typically, a woman’s role choice in adulthood, whether it be career-centric, family-oriented, or non-career work-oriented, tends to be more contingent on the overarching message they received from their mother growing up.
The influence of early relationships on a daughter’s love
By studying the growth and development of children’s brains, researchers are beginning to see the lasting effects of the presence of warm maternal love from birth. Research shows that a positive relationship with a mother from the earliest stages of life can buffer the negative effects of certain challenging or difficult life circumstances.
Additionally, studies show an early bond between mother and daughter can lead to the development of a secure attachment style later in life. A secure attachment style is generally characterized by the ability to control emotions, the ability to seek emotional support, and the ability to feel comfortable alone.
Typically, the attachment style a child develops with their parents dictates their attachment style in future relationships. The development of a secure attachment style in early childhood has the potential to positively impact both friendships and romantic relationships in a person’s future.
How parental engagement impacts daughter love and education
Another study conducted over the course of a decade concluded that parental engagement in a child’s education outside of school generally had positive impacts in the areas of literacy, math, and social-emotional skills. Key findings revealed the potential importance of familial involvement in the development of a child’s reading and math skills.
While this particular study focused on family involvement as a whole, these findings can apply to any family unit that includes a maternal figure. Typically, a child’s interest in education can contribute heavily to success later in life.
When it comes to education, a mother’s involvement in her daughter’s early learning and development outside of school can play a largely positive role in her overall success later in life.
Navigating gender-based difficulty
Research conducted by therapist and renowned mother-daughter relationship coach Dr. Rosjke Hasseldine explored the existence of the many hidden controversies that exist between mothers and daughters.
In a recent article, Dr. Hasseldine describes common difficulties between mothers and daughters to feel heard by each other. Additionally, she discusses the negative effects of “mother-blaming,” which is typically characterized by the attribution of all personal problems to a mother figure.
Due to the intense complexity and outside societal influences that can factor into these particular difficulties between mothers and daughters, seeking individual talk therapy for additional guidance on building and maintaining a positive parental relationship with a daughter can be helpful.
The benefits of mother-daughter love
When it comes to general science and research on relationships between parents and children, positive, high-quality, loving relationships tend to lead to positive effects in the following areas:
- General success
- Self-esteem and self-adequacy
- Education
- Emotional control
- Social competence
- Mental health
How parental mental health affects mother-daughter relationships
There tends to be exceedingly high pressure placed on the significance of a mother raising a daughter “perfectly”. It can be important to remember that parenting often comes with many challenges, and there may be no one correct way to be a mother.
What usually positively affects relationships between mothers and daughters is the presence of mutually understood love and acceptance. It can be crucial to keep in mind that the quality of a parent-child relationship can be quite reliant on the mental well-being of the parent.
Mental health concerns in parents
Parents who experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses may notice the symptoms of these conditions affect their quality of parenting. For this reason, it may be beneficial for any parent experiencing these types of challenges to participate in regular talk therapy.
Seeking help through online therapy
There can be endless challenges and roadblocks that tend to come with mothering a daughter. A mother’s own mental well-being often plays a critical role in building and maintaining a positive relationship with a daughter.
Improving mother-daughter relationships with online therapy
When parenting, hectic schedules can make it especially difficult to stay on top of regular therapy and mental wellness. In such cases, online therapy may offer flexibility that regular in-person therapy typically cannot.
Online therapy can provide a safe environment to open up about the challenges of parenting, as well as individual concerns regarding parenting style, personal mental health, and other factors that can affect overall mothering performance.
Effectiveness of online therapy
According to this study, the effectiveness of online therapy is typically equal to that of in-person therapy. Due to the significant role that personal mental well-being usually plays in nearly every aspect of life, online therapy can be especially effective in providing guidance in the matters of mothering and parenting overall.
Takeaway
Additionally, it can be important to consider one’s own mental health in matters of parenting. Often, participating in therapy, whether in person or online, or finding a support system composed of other mothers or parents can be very helpful in maintaining good mental health, which typically contributes to higher-quality parenting.
Why is a daughter’s love important in life?
A child’s love can be very powerful and impactful, whether you’re their mother figure, father figure, or other caregiver. The deep love parents and caregivers have for their children, in combination with the love their children have for them, can mean the world. Often, moms and dads fall in love with their children immediately, and they usually have a soft spot for them and want to protect them from ever being hurt. A father’s love or mother’s love can contribute to a person’s sense of fulfillment, self-worth, well-being, and happiness.
How can I keep a good relationship with my daughter?
Below are a few tips for a good parent-child relationship, whether you’re a mom, a dad, or another type of caregiver:
Set and maintain healthy boundaries, rules, and consequences
Communicate openly, effectively, and age-appropriately
Regularly spend time together
Practice empathy
Make time for play, and don’t forget to laugh together
Show them that you are dependable
Display warmth, kindness, and affection
Tell them that you’re proud of them and recognize the things he’s (or she’s) doing well
Actively listen to how they’re feeling and communicate to them that their emotions matter
Encourage them to be involved in various activities, as well as chores around the house
How do I make my daughter love me more?
While it’s impossible to “make” anyone love you, you may be able to improve your relationship with your daughter by showing her compassion, care, empathy, and respect. If you miss spending quality time with her, making time for the two of you to bond may create opportunities for closeness and shared joy. It may take time to improve your relationship, so don’t expect your daughter to forget any wrong that has occurred in the past within a single moment. Change can happen over time, so don’t give up hope.
If you are religious, you might pray to God, the heavenly Father, or another higher power for guidance as you navigate this difficult relationship. If you’ve decided to try to repair your relationship, it may also be helpful to turn to a licensed therapist for support.
How do I manage my daughter while living with mental health challenges?
Addressing your mental health challenges with professional support may enable you to improve your mental health as well as your parenting skills. If your mental health struggles are related to your marriage, consider attending couples therapy with your husband or wife, as it can be important to display healthy relationship dynamics for your daughter. Talking with your daughter about mental health-related topics and strategies to improve mental health can model healthy coping and problem-solving skills.
How can you love your daughter unconditionally and offer her emotional support?
You can show your daughter unconditional love by offering her verbal affirmation (for example, “I’m always excited to see you after school,” or “You did a great job in the play last night, I couldn’t believe it was your first time acting!”), frequently telling her “I love you,” offering physical touch and eye contact, spending quality time together, and expressing empathy, even when your daughter isn’t behaving in the way you’d like her to. You can provide emotional support by practicing active listening, showing empathy and compassion, and asking your daughter whether she’d like you to listen or to offer advice. Respecting her boundaries in an age-appropriate way can also be important.
Why is a daughter special in the family system?
Children can be very special in the family system because they are developing individuals who rely entirely on their fathers, mothers, or caregivers for their basic needs. At the same time, they can foster growth in their parents through their interactions, personalities, and behaviors. They often act as a mirror and show caregivers the truth about themselves. The way they are raised can greatly impact their character and the family as a whole.
How can I help my daughter with self-love?
The beliefs and behaviors you model can greatly impact the way your daughter experiences self-love. Perhaps the best way to promote self-love in your daughter is to model it by showing yourself compassion and love, instead of displaying self-doubt and criticism. In addition, try to avoid raising your daughter to be a “people pleaser,” as this can teach her to prioritize others’ needs over her own.
In addition, it may be beneficial to enroll your daughter in sports, as girls who play sports tend to display higher levels of self-esteem. Offer praise that focuses on your daughter’s personality, skills, and efforts rather than her appearance and performance. Avoid speaking negatively about other women, as this can be extremely harmful. All of these strategies can foster self-love in your daughter.
Can a daughter be the love of my life and take the place of romantic relationships?
In general, viewing your child as the love of your life, depending on them for happiness, and allowing your life to completely revolve around them is unhealthy. Your child should not sense that they are responsible for your emotions, and it can be important to have a support system of family, friends, and even mental health professionals to whom you can turn when you need emotional support. While romantic relationships and being married aren’t necessary to have a fulfilling life, your child should not take the place of a partner.
How do you love a child who is hard to love?
It can be helpful to try to understand why your kid thinks and acts the way they do. A licensed mental health professional may be able to offer insight. In addition, try to accept and love them as they are, recognizing their positive qualities and skills. Find ways to bond with them and set aside time for shared activities. It can be important to offer your child control over some of the choices in their life, although this can vary quite a bit depending on their age and the situation. When children have a sense of control and power over their lives, they tend to be happier overall.
How do I respect my daughter and show her unconditional love?
Practicing active listening and seeking to fully understand your daughter’s point of view can be crucial. Respecting her boundaries, allowing her to make choices for herself (within reason), and avoiding micromanagement of your child’s life can also be important. To show unconditional love, try to practice empathy and compassion, even when your child makes different decisions than you would or behaves in a way that doesn’t match your expectations. It may be helpful to avoid trying to imagine or guess what your daughter is thinking or feeling at any given moment. Instead, allow her to communicate her perspective and maintain an open mind.
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