Divorce Vs. Annulment: Which Is Best For Child Custody And Mental Health?

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated March 28th, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team
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Moving on from a marriage can be challenging for both spouses, potentially causing mixed emotions, uncertainty, and difficulty adjusting to a new life. A separation can be even more difficult when the proper process for ending the marriage is unclear. For spouses who have decided to part ways, deciding whether to pursue a divorce or an annulment is often the first step. 

It can be crucial for separating spouses to understand the differences between divorces and annulments, including the grounds for each, potential logistical challenges, and the legal ramifications of both processes. Below, we’re providing overviews of divorces and annulments, comparing the two proceedings, and discussing the potential legal and mental health concerns related to ending a marriage.

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Getty/PIKSEL
Parting ways with a spouse can lead to complex feelings

What is a divorce? Definition, logistics, and grounds for divorce

According to the American Bar Association (ABA), “A divorce or dissolution of marriage is a decree by a court that a valid marriage no longer exists.” A divorce may involve a legal ruling on not only the end of a marriage but also how child custody, asset division, and other matters will be settled. Once spouses have divorced, they can remarry if they choose. 

Grounds for divorce

There are several different types of divorce, including no-fault, at-fault, contested, and uncontested. The forms of divorce available in the US will typically depend on the state in which the divorce is being sought (which may or may not be the state in which the marriage took place). 

Most states offer a form of no-fault divorce in which there is an agreement that neither spouse is the cause of the rupture in the marriage. The legal grounds for a no-fault divorce are typically stated as “irretrievable breakdown in relationship.”

In at-fault divorce cases, the party filing for divorce is asserting that their spouse is the cause of the end of the marriage. Grounds for at-fault divorce can include abuse, abandonment, infidelity, and imprisonment. Typically, the defendant in an at-fault divorce case can make a counterclaim in which they make assertions about the plaintiff’s role in the relationship’s dissolution. After the marriage dissolution is finalized by the court, the spouses are no longer legally married. However, typically, marriage records remain filed with the clerk’s office where they were originally submitted. 

How are divorces obtained?

The process of obtaining a divorce can differ by state. However, it typically involves filing a summons, serving the defendant with the papers, awaiting their response, getting the case on the court calendar, and receiving the court’s judgment.  

What is an annulment? Definition, logistics, and grounds for annulment

According to the ABA, “An annulment is a court ruling that a marriage was never valid.” As its name suggests, an annulment makes a marriage null, treating it as though it never occurred. While the marriage records will still exist, there will no longer be a legally valid marriage. Like a divorce, an annulment makes it so that both spouses are free to remarry if they choose. 

Grounds for annulment

Because of the substantial legal ramifications of an annulment—essentially stating that there was never a valid marriage—spouses have limited options for pursuing this route. As with divorces, the grounds for having a marriage annulled vary depending on the state. However, most states acknowledge fraud, incest, bigamy, mental incapacity, inability to consummate, and existing marriage as legitimate grounds.  

How are annulments obtained?

Like divorce proceedings, annulments involve filing a petition and serving the defendant. Unlike divorces, however, annulments almost always involve hearings and trials. Usually, the spouse who petitions the court must provide proof that one of the grounds for annulment has been met. If the judge decides that there was never a legal marriage based on the evidence, they may grant the annulment. 

Divorce vs. annulment: what family law says about the two legal proceedings

Both divorces and annulments can involve lengthy legal proceedings, a court hearing, and various settlements. However, they differ in key ways. 

Generally, annulments are thought to be more difficult to obtain than divorces. This is primarily due to the narrow means by which spouses can be granted annulments. While parties to a divorce may not have to prove that there were grounds for the action, spouses seeking an annulment may need to provide evidence of mental incapacity, lack of physical intimacy, or duress, which can be difficult. Additionally, unlike with an annulment, a divorce judgment treats the original marriage as legally valid. 

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Getty/Israel Sebastian

Seeking the guidance of a family law expert

If you’re deciding whether to pursue a divorce or annulment, working with a family law attorney can help you ensure you’re doing the right thing for yourself, your spouse, and your child or children (if applicable). Because family law can vary substantially from state to state, legal experts can provide invaluable counsel on the divorce or annulment processes in your local area. They may have insights into the best course of action, given the specifics of your case. 

An attorney can also help take care of a significant portion of the paperwork, saving you time and helping you avoid the added stress of many administrative tasks. Whether you seek a divorce or an annulment, there will typically be several different documents that must be accurately filled out. Errors in the filing process can result in significant delays. 

In addition, a lawyer can negotiate on your behalf, which can ease the potential strain of seeking  settlement agreements on your own. An attorney can help you understand your rights regarding your children. They can also help you obtain any assets that are rightfully yours.

Considerations for child custody and spousal support

Understanding how certain matters are handled in divorces and annulments may help you decide how to proceed given the circumstances of your marriage. Consider the following issues when determining which option to pursue. 

Spousal support

Alimony may become a part of a divorce settlement when one spouse can prove that they need financial support and that the other spouse can provide it. Spousal support may not be an option for couples who seek an annulment, unless they decide on an agreement outside of the legal process. For an individual seeking financial assistance from their spouse, a divorce may be the best option. 

Child custody and support

Spouses with children who seek a divorce or an annulment will typically have rights to parent those children after the proceedings. If both partners come to an agreement that works for them, this can make the custody process easier. If they choose to let the court settle the issue of custody, each spouse may have to present proof that they can properly care for the child or children. 

Similarly, issues regarding child support can be worked out by both spouses during an annulment or divorce. Child support decisions may also be left to the judge, who can make a decision based on evidence that one spouse requires financial support and the other can provide it.  

Assets and debts

The separation of assets and debts can differ based on whether an annulment or divorce is sought. Because of the nature of an annulment, parties to such a proceeding may be allocated assets and debts commensurate to their financial positions prior to the marriage. In a divorce, however, assets and debts that accrued or were shared during the marriage may need to be separated evenly. 

How divorces and annulments can lead to mental health concerns

Depending on the circumstances of a particular divorce or annulment, there may be varying challenges that arise as spouses part ways. Particularly in cases where the separation isn’t amicable, spouses may experience frustration, resentment, sadness, and a range of other emotions. Divorce is associated with various mental health challenges, including increased risk of anxiety, depression, stress, and substance use. When deciding between a divorce or annulment, it may also be advisable to consider which legal proceeding might cause or exacerbate mental health concerns.

For example, an attorney may advise you that in your state—and given the circumstances of your case—an annulment will be a fast and inexpensive option. In this case, you may be protecting your mental well-being by choosing an annulment. Or, you and your spouse may have had a legal marriage but be separating amicably. If this is the case, you may decide together that a no-contest divorce is the best approach, helping you avoid the stress of more lengthy legal proceedings. 

Whatever you decide, a qualified mental health professional may help. A therapist can support you in processing your emotions, addressing mental health challenges, and navigating your new life. You and your spouse may also decide to pursue divorce counseling together, which can help you overcome potential obstacles to an amicable split. 

How online therapy can help

If you’re coordinating the logistics of a divorce or annulment, scheduling and attending in-person therapy may be difficult. Online therapy can be a convenient, flexible alternative for processing the complex feelings a separation can produce.  

Working with an online therapist while weighing a divorce vs. annulment

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can address mental health challenges related to a divorce or annulment remotely, through video call, voice call, or in-app messaging. Online therapy also makes scheduling easy, allowing you to attend sessions with a licensed therapist at times that work for you. 

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Parting ways with a spouse can lead to complex feelings

The efficacy of online therapy

Research indicates that online therapy may help individuals manage symptoms of mental health conditions related to divorce. For example, in one study, researchers suggest that an online therapy program “significantly reduced anxious, depressive, and somatization symptoms among divorcees in the intervention group.” Additionally, these improvements in symptoms were sustained for a year following the end of the intervention.  

Takeaway

Divorces and annulments can lead to similar results, but the logistics, legal ramifications, and psychological effects of each can differ in key ways. Determining which process is right for you and your spouse may help alleviate some of the emotional distress that the end of a relationship can produce. If you’d like the support and guidance of a mental health professional as you navigate a divorce or annulment, you might consider pursuing online or in-person therapy.
Marriage can come with complex challenges
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