How Seeing A Marriage Psychologist Can Help With Marriage Counseling And Therapy
Marriage can be a source of joy and emotional support, but it can also come with unique obstacles. If you and your spouse are having difficulty seeing eye-to-eye on an issue, or you feel as though you are drifting apart, it may be helpful for you to talk to a marriage counseling psychologist. These licensed professionals are trained and credentialed in strengthening intimate relationships, and they may be able to assist you and your spouse.
Successful outcomes from seeing a marriage psychologist
Many couples report successful outcomes from seeing a marriage counseling psychologist. One study demonstrated that over 70% of couples who attended marriage therapy felt as though the experience changed their relationship for the better.
Marriage counseling psychologists may use a variety of counseling techniques to help couples. It could be beneficial to learn more about what these therapy techniques entail.
Couples therapy methods a marriage counseling psychologist uses
Marriage counseling psychologists may rely on various techniques. Some of these methods include emotionally focused therapy, solutions-focused therapy, and the Gottman Method.
Emotionally focused therapy
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a method of couples counseling in which the counselor works with the couple to help them identify emotional responses that may be at the root of certain relationship challenges and conflicts. Emotionally focused therapy is one of the most widely used marriage counseling methods because of its proven efficacy. This therapeutic method is based on principles of Gestalt psychology, which also focuses on emotions, and was refined for use in the marriage therapy setting by Dr. Susan Johnson. Although the therapeutic process is specifically designed for married couples, couples who are not married can still benefit from EFT.
How seeing a marriage psychologist can help with emotionally focused therapy
A couples therapist using emotionally focused therapy methods may collaborate with the couple to help each partner understand their emotions, including their level of emotional sensitivity and that of their partner. In this context, emotional sensitivity does not refer to the state of being sensitive, but how well you recognize and express your own emotions. With emotionally focused therapy, each partner analyzes factors that may contribute to their level of emotional sensitivity, which might include mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety, childhood experiences, and experiences in prior romantic relationships.
Mold communication skills with a marriage counseling psychologist
Once a couple is more equipped to identify, understand, and express their emotions, the therapist can work with them to build healthier communication patterns. This process typically involves the following three steps:
- Stabilization: The marriage counseling psychologist works with the couple to find a conflict they want to address in the relationship. Each partner will process and talk about their emotional response to the conflict, which may help them understand how the other experiences the conflict and provide a sense of perspective.
- Bonding: In bonding, the couple opens up further about their emotions, being honest and vulnerable with their partner. The bonding stage is less about the conflict itself and more about the couple connecting with each other over their experience of the conflict.
- Consolidation: The therapist works with the couple to use their enhanced emotional understanding of the conflict to develop a potential solution. They can then identify additional conflicts where the same solution may apply.
Note that emotionally focused therapy differs from emotion-focused therapy, which is a method of individual counseling and treatment.
Using solution-focused therapy for better mental health
Solution-focused therapy approaches marriage counseling from the opposite angle of emotionally focused therapy. That is, it focuses on solutions to specific concerns, not the emotions that may underlie such problems. Solution-focused therapy typically requires less of a time commitment than other forms of marriage counseling. For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as solution-focused brief therapy. Couples who seek therapy using this method may attend sessions for only a few weeks or months.
Solution-focused therapy can be a useful option for couples who encounter a small problem in their relationship, but who don’t have fundamental relationship concerns to work through. Solution-focused therapy often hones in on particular issues that can cause strife in a relationship, but that usually have more straightforward solutions such as finances or parenting disagreements, for example. This technique may not be the appropriate treatment method for deeper relationship challenges such as infidelity or a spouse’s substance use. A couple who is considering divorce may also want to avoid this method. In these cases, more intensive forms of therapy may be more beneficial.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Solution-focused therapy is forward-thinking and focused on identifying a strategic way to address what may have become a sticking point in a relationship. It can accomplish this goal by fostering mutual respect in marriage and encouraging each partner to view the other person as a teammate and support system in tackling the problem at hand. Its core focus is reducing blame and anger around the issue that is causing concern, so each partner can look at the situation more objectively and determine a viable solution.
The Gottman method
The Gottman Method, developed by husband-and-wife duo Julie and John Gottman, is one of the most popular couples counseling techniques. Its overarching philosophy is that building affection, intimacy, and mutual respect in a relationship will make the relationship strong enough to withstand conflict and external relationship stressors, which are generally unavoidable. The Gottman Method works by:
- Teaching each partner to recognize and communicate their needs, while also listening to and respecting their partner’s needs
- Building a belief in commitment and trust and an understanding that every relationship encounters its issues, but many relationships can recover from them
- Finding ways for each partner to show their love and affection for the other
- Focusing on shifting any behaviors that may be causing dissatisfaction in the relationship
- Creating love maps, which are charts that the couple builds together to review their relationship history, identify what is bringing them joy in the relationship and what is bringing them stress, and talk about what they hope for and worry about for their relationship in the future
Finding marriage counseling and online therapy support
If you want to learn more about how one of the above marriage therapy techniques can help you and your partner, consider speaking with a marriage counseling psychologist. They can work with you to identify which forms of therapy may be most beneficial for your situation and needs.
Still, it can be challenging to find a therapist that both you and your spouse feel a connection with and whose availability matches both of yours. This process can be especially complex if you two have conflicting work schedules or parenting/caregiving responsibilities.
The convenience of online therapy
In these situations, you may want to consider online therapy, which can be more convenient than traditional options. BetterHelp is an online counseling platform that can connect you with a therapist from the comfort of your home. You can speak with your therapist through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging, depending on your preferences. Being able to talk to your therapist from anywhere at any time may make it easier to get the support you need.
The effectiveness of online couples therapy
Research suggests that there may be no difference in the effectiveness of marriage counseling that is delivered online versus in a traditional in-person therapy setting. In one study assessing an online couples therapy program, couples appreciated the convenience of receiving treatment online and believed online therapy brought them closer together as a couple. If you think online therapy may be a helpful option for you and your spouse, consider BetterHelp for couples counseling. Couples counselors are trained in a wide array of marriage therapy techniques.
Takeaway
How does family therapy with a skilled therapist improve mental health?
Family therapy can improve mental health by teaching family members, often children and parents, skills and strategies for communicating, problem-solving, and resolving conflicts. The therapist can help them get on the same page in terms of creating common family goals. This can improve family relationships, which can improve well-being and mental health. Improved mental health can affect someone positively throughout life, not just within their family.
If you and the person you’re in a relationship with are
When mental health needs more than family therapy
If mental health problems exist in the family beyond what a family therapist can help a client with, the family may want to make a psychiatry appointment and look into the possibility of other therapies and medicine.
What does family therapy involve?
Family therapy involves various family members (potentially a husband, a wife, or children) working with a therapist to improve communication and resolve conflicts. A family therapist is usually an LMFT, but they can also be a counselor or a psychologist.
People seek family therapy for many reasons. Family therapy, a form of talk therapy, is one of the helpful tools for improving conversation skills, resolving conflicts, and understanding and working with challenges that hinder the family from living a healthy life. Since conversation is often an essential part of this therapy, all family members involved must actively participate in the process to achieve the collective goals.
Other notes about family therapy:
- Family therapy helps resolve troubled relationships between family members, potentially including parents, children, siblings, and grandparents.
- This talk therapy helps a person adjust to new life changes. For example, an LMFT or counselor can help children of the family adjust to the challenges of divorce.
- Family therapy helps family members develop coping strategies for stress and anger issues.
- Family members with mental health conditions, such as anxiety, eating disorders, and mood disorders, can benefit from this form of talk therapy.
Ensure the LMFT or counselor conducting marriage and family therapy is licensed and state-certified. Also, pay attention to their expertise in treating areas of concern, such as divorce and anger issues in children.
What type of counselor is best for marriage counseling?
The best type of counselor for marriage counseling is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). While other types of therapists can support couples during therapy sessions, LMFTs are specialists in marriage and family communication and relationships. For couples unsure whether to proceed with divorce, an LMFT may be able to help them explore other options.
If time and money hinder you from seeking help for marital problems, online therapy can be a viable solution. You may have flexible scheduling and eliminate commutes, hence saving time. It is also cost-effective, often offering lower rates than in-person therapy. BetterHelp, a reputable online therapy platform, charges $65 to $100 per week, billed monthly.
Is couples therapy real or scripted?
Couples therapy is real. While the therapist may rely on some proven strategies, they respond authentically to what’s going on with the couple in the session in real time.
What happens in relationship therapy?
In relationship therapy, the therapist creates a safe, supportive environment in which partners can express their feelings and find common ground. The therapist also teaches communication and techniques to improve connection and problem-solving skills. It is worth mentioning that even if your couples therapist has the best intentions in promoting healthier dynamics in your relationship, relationship therapy may not be successful if one partner is not willing to commit to the therapy process. The other partner must also do their share. It takes effort on the part of both partners for relationship therapy to be effective.
Many people believe that they should only seek relationship therapy whenever separation or divorce is about to happen. However, relationship therapy, a form of talk therapy, can help you and your partner as soon as problems impact your daily life. You and your partner may benefit from a consultation with a couples therapist if:
- You have difficulty expressing your feelings toward each other.
- You and your partner keep having the same argument over and over again.
- A stressful circumstance is affecting your daily life.
- You and the person you're in a relationship with are experiencing money or financial issues.
- You and the other person no longer engage with each other.
- You want a stronger relationship with your partner.
- You and the other person are experiencing issues relating to blame in your relationship.
Which type of psychologist would help a couple go through marriage counseling?
The type of mental health professional who offers marriage counseling sessions is typically not a psychologist but a licensed marriage and family therapist.
For many couples, the struggle may be money; for others, it may be infidelity. Hurt feelings may result from disagreements and constant blame. A partner may no longer feel a sense of intimacy with the other partner. These and other reasons—such as issues regarding children or a lack of conversation—can lead most couples to cycle back to the same argument. This may impact the marriage of a husband or a wife.
During the first session, the marriage and family therapist observes everyone's group dynamics in the system. Different questions are also asked during the first session to assess the challenges of the husband and/or wife. As therapy sessions progress, the therapist may help the couple develop conversation skills, coping strategies, and stress-reduction techniques.
Marriage and family therapists can help improve anger management skills, address infidelity issues, enhance conversation skills, reduce harmful behavior, and improve intimacy and connection, among other things. If you're interested in marriage and family therapy, consider evaluating the therapist's credentials.
Is a marriage counselor the same as a therapist?
A marriage counselor can also be a therapist, and vice versa, but there are some differences. “Therapist” is the word for a trained, licensed mental health professional, and some therapists practice marriage counseling in a clinical setting. A marriage counselor is usually, but not always, a therapist. Some people who offer marriage counseling sessions are pastors or life coaches, and they have less or different training than therapists do.
If you're interested in marriage counseling, and one partner is uncomfortable with traditional in-person therapy, online therapy may be a good idea. Online marriage counseling may allow instant access to your therapist or counselor via video, phone, or live chat. If you haven't been nurturing your relationship at the same level as you used to, or if one partner is no longer showing intimacy in the marriage, online marriage counseling may be helpful. Consider platforms like BetterHelp (for individuals) and Regain (for couples). You will pay between $65 and $100 per week, billed monthly. If money is a concern, the platforms have sliding scale options for those who qualify.
What is the most successful type of marriage counseling?
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is believed to be the most effective type of marriage counseling. A study demonstrates the effectiveness of emotionally focused couples therapy as a valuable approach in facilitating change both during and after treatment. A separate study states that emotionally focused couples therapy is effective for sex life and marital adjustments for infertile couples with marital conflicts.
In several instances, many couples dealing with disagreements and other relationship concerns may experience anger, resentment, and hurt feelings. Through EFT, the husband or wife may gain a deeper understanding of their emotions, recognize the impact of their actions on their relationships, and learn healthy ways to express emotions and resolve conflicts.
Other approaches that may help improve intimacy and reconcile the disagreements between a husband and a wife are CBT, Gottman method couples therapy, Imago relationship therapy, and narrative therapy. There is no single “best” approach to marriage counseling. The most effective approach may depend on the needs of the relationship. A couples therapist or marriage counselor can help you decide which approach will benefit your relationship the most.
What type of therapist is best for marriage counseling?
A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) is typically the best kind of therapist for marriage counseling, although other types of mental health professionals can be effective at marital therapy, as well. You can find a list of LMFTs at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
Suppose you and the person you're in a relationship with are seeking relationship therapy to address money problems, connection issues, resentful feelings, or other things. In that case, it may be a good idea to check the therapist's credentials and experience. Consulting a licensed marriage and family therapist may be beneficial for both parties. An LMFT can help create a safe space for you and the other person in a relationship to hear and understand each other and develop problem-solving skills. If couples are considering divorce, an MFT can help them express their feelings without judgment and assist them in making the best decision possible.
What is the difference between a marriage counselor and a psychologist?
A clinical psychologist is someone who holds a master's degree in psychology and works in a clinical setting. Some clinical psychologists see clients for marriage counseling sessions. A marriage counselor is usually a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) who has a master's degree in marriage and family counseling. If you and the person you’re with are looking for a mental health provider for couples counseling, either can be a good therapist. While family and friends may offer support during relationship struggles, consulting a mental health professional, such as a marriage counselor or a psychologist, may lead to better results.
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