Getting Most Out Of Premarital Counseling Programs

Medically reviewed by Paige Henry, LMSW, J.D.
Updated August 21, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Premarital counseling can benefit couples preparing for long-term commitments, such as marriage. These programs can help couples align expectations for their future and cover various topics, from finances and communication to conflict resolution and family planning. With premarital counseling, individuals may be able to understand the needs, values, and goals of their partner and themselves on a deeper level. Read on to learn more about how premarital counseling can assist couples in building a strong and successful marriage.

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Online therapy may help couples improve their relationships

What is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling is a specialized type of couples therapy that can help partners prepare for marriage or long-term commitment. Often provided by marriage and family therapists, this form of counseling may help individuals work through important issues, such as finances, children, and communication, to ensure everyone is on the same page before entering a marriage.

In therapy sessions, couples may learn to build a strong foundation for their relationship by working on potential problem areas and developing effective strategies for communication. While it is not strictly required for couples planning to marry, couples counseling can be beneficial for creating healthy relationships and preventing future issues from arising. Religious institutions may sometimes require premarital counseling as part of their pre-wedding process.

The main goal of premarital counseling is to provide couples with the tools and support they need to overcome challenges they might experience during their marriage. As a proactive approach to relationship building, which can be conducted in person or through online counseling programs, premarital counseling can help set couples up for success as they enter a long-lasting commitment.

Potential benefits of premarital counseling: improved communication, closeness, and more

Premarital counseling programs can provide couples with different advantages to help them develop a strong foundation for their marriage. One potential benefit is that these programs offer support and education for partners to resolve specific problems. By participating in counseling, couples can look at their partnership from different perspectives and gain confidence as they learn how to overcome problems as a team.

Another important aspect of premarital counseling is its focus on communication and conflict resolution. These programs allow couples to express their emotions and control their anger effectively, which can lead to happier, more successful marriages. Other topics discussed during premarital counseling sessions include finances, intimacy, and relationships with in-laws.

Some key benefits of premarital counseling include:

  • Improved communication skills
  • A clearer understanding of each other's needs
  • Increased skills in conflict resolution
  • Development of healthy decision-making processes
  • Resolution of problematic behavior patterns

These benefits may make premarital counseling a valuable resource for many couples, whether they are planning a wedding or simply taking steps to strengthen their relationship. Through premarital counseling, partners can develop mutual support and effective communication, each of which can be an essential aspect of a strong union.

The importance of communication in a marriage

Being able to communicate openly and honestly is often viewed as a core component of a healthy marriage, which is why improving communication is frequently a key aim of premarital counseling. In fact, research suggests that effective communication skills positively correlate with marital satisfaction and increased intimacy and understanding.

Does premarital counseling support mental health?

Many people associate counseling and therapy in general with mental health. It’s true that seeking counseling or therapy is typically one of the first recommended steps for those experiencing mental health concerns. However, it’s important to note that premarital counseling is not usually intended for this purpose. It’s possible for mental health concerns in one or both partners to affect their relationship, but a premarital counselor is typically not the right type of professional for addressing mental health conditions. 

Getting support for mental health concerns

If you’re experiencing signs of a mental health condition, meeting with a licensed therapist on your own is typically recommended. This type of professional is specifically trained in addressing symptoms of mental illness. By working with them and pursuing the recommended treatment, you may be able to address concerns that could be affecting your well-being and your relationship. If you’re not sure where to start in finding a mental health care provider, your premarital counselor may be able to provide a referral.

Getting the most out of premarital counseling

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To help ensure that you and your partner get the most out of premarital counseling, finding the right program and provider can be important. While exploring premarital counseling options, looking for an expert that fits the needs and dynamics of you and your partner can be helpful. Counselors and therapists may employ different techniques and approaches for premarital counseling, so choosing a provider that aligns with your strengths, values, and goals may be more constructive.

Finding the right type of premarital counselor for you

Couples may want counseling from a licensed therapist, as a licensed professional typically has the appropriate training and qualifications to support their clients. Some notable methods commonly used in premarital counseling include the Gottman Method, emotionally focused therapy (EFT), and psychodynamic couples therapy, which focus on aspects such as attachment, emotion, and communication within the relationship. 

Many premarital counseling programs utilize premarital assessments such as Prepare/Enrich to evaluate a relationship's health and potential growth. This evaluation typically uncovers areas of strength and areas that might benefit from additional support or improvement. Choosing a program that offers a premarital assessment may be beneficial so couples can understand where their relationship stands and where they’d like to take it.

Choosing a premarital counseling program

Most premarital counseling programs cover the following topics:

  • Communication within the relationship
  • Conflict resolution strategies
  • Managing roles, responsibilities, and expectations in the relationship
  • Understanding finances together
  • Intimacy
  • Aligning goals, values, and beliefs
  • Developing a solid foundation for a strong marriage
  • Discussing any specific concerns the couple may have

Selecting the right premarital counseling program can be an important first step for couples who want to maintain a strong relationship as they enter their marriage. Although it can take some time to explore various therapy options and different professionals, having a variety of choices can help ensure that couples pick the program and provider that is the right fit for their needs. 

Premarital counseling versus couples counseling and family therapy

It can be useful to note that there are many different types of counseling and therapy, each intended for different purposes. Premarital counseling is intended to help couples prepare for marriage, but it’s not the only type of therapy romantic partners might seek out. As another example, couples counseling is a broader type of support for partners in any stage of their relationship, whether they’re engaged or have been together for decades. 

Couples might also choose to pursue family therapy in some cases, such as when conflict with other family members is putting strain on their relationship. Consulting with a provider in the therapy field in general may be a good place to start when selecting the type of counseling that might be right for you and your partner.

Online premarital counseling for a stronger marriage

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Online therapy may help couples improve their relationships

Couples with busy schedules, childcare responsibilities, or otherwise demanding lives may have difficulty finding the time for premarital counseling or other types of therapy. Some couples may be long-distance and cannot get support together. In these cases, online therapy can be a beneficial alternative to consider. 

Platforms like BetterHelp offer counseling to individuals, while ReGain provides services to couples. The licensed therapists on these platforms can help couples work through relationship challenges and establish a strong foundation for their marriage. Through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging, couples can understand and explore their problems and develop solutions alongside a licensed therapist. 

Getting the most out of online premarital counseling

Steps for getting the most out of online premarital counseling are typically the same as those involved in getting the most out of in-person counseling. Authentically engaging in the process, showing up to appointments, being open and honest, communicating your needs along the way, and trusting the process can all be helpful.

Effectiveness of online premarital counseling, couples therapy, or family therapy

Research suggests that, in general, many types of counseling—including mental health counseling and therapy, premarital counseling, and others—can be similarly effective when conducted online or in person. That means you can typically choose whichever format works best for you.

For couples in particular, consider a study suggesting that an internet-delivered intervention for couples was able to teach them effective problem-solving and conflict-management skills, both of which could help strengthen their relationship. Couples who participated also reported improved satisfaction, confidence, commitment, and overall quality of their relationships after online couples therapy.  

Takeaway

Before marriage, premarital counseling programs can allow couples to discuss their needs, expectations, and feelings. These conversations may help couples prepare for the commitment that marriage entails. 

The right premarital counseling program can depend on a couple's needs and preferences. Some couples may face specific problems they need help overcoming, while others might desire general guidance. By exploring different programs and identifying their most notable concerns, couples can find a suitable premarital counseling program to help them enter marriage with confidence and understanding. 

Marriage can come with complex challenges
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