Newly Single? Common Mental Health Challenges When A Relationship Ends

Breakups can be emotionally complex experiences. It isn’t uncommon, for example, to feel grief and anger as well as some relief. The time following a breakup is also typically marked by uncertainty, especially after the end of a long-term relationship. These challenges can create significant anxiety and stress for some. However, it is often possible to process and cope with challenging emotions, move forward in self-discovery, and thrive in this new chapter with support and self-care. 

Being newly single can come with complex emotions

Get support in online therapy

Exploring the challenges of being newly single  

Being newly single can present emotional challenges that may impact other areas of daily life. Intense feelings related to the split can cause difficulties in adjusting to a new lifestyle. A person may also grapple with intense loneliness and grief from the lost relationship and potential insecurity about dating again. In some cases, a person may experience mental health challenges, such as high stress levels or the development or exacerbation of a mental health condition like depression or anxiety.

Emotional turmoil after a breakup

Breakups can be extremely challenging, and some may even experience feelings of grief similar to those experienced with other types of significant loss—but these may not be the only feelings. It’s not uncommon to feel a complex mix of emotions that may evolve as the person processes the life change. 

Adjusting to being single

When a person goes through a breakup, they often experience more free time spent in solitude. This effect can be one of the hardest things to cope with as a newly single person. There's also often a more practical side to adjusting to being single: managing daily life without a partner. If you paid bills, shared a routine, and made decisions together, you may find it hard to get used to doing such things independently. 

Navigating social changes  

Some couples share a best friend group or social circle, which may change significantly when couples split. The same can be true if partners have developed relationships with each other's families. Shared friends and loved ones might not know how to approach the individuals after the split, opening the potential for awkwardness and shifts in allegiances. 

Additionally, some recently single people may face strong social encouragement to re-enter the dating scene. Often, there’s a real sense of pressure to “get back out there’’ and find love again, even if the person isn’t emotionally ready to do so. 

The opportunities for self-discovery when a partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend leaves

Despite the challenges a person may experience after a breakup, there can be benefits and reasons to feel hopeful too. As one example, the process of introspection and personal exploration that many people engage in following the end of a romantic relationship can offer a chance for profound self-discovery. 

From the choices they make at the grocery store to the music they listen to, individuals often shape their identities around their relationship—only to realize it after they’ve broken up. This realization, when applicable, often allows individuals to reevaluate their needs, desires, and priorities, potentially leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and what they want in life. 

Reconnecting with yourself when you’re newly single

Many have a moment of self-doubt after a significant breakup in which they question or reexamine their identity. In some relationships, individuals’ personalities mix as they learn new things and adopt new interests together. Couples who move in together in particular may share daily habits and, eventually, tastes. This melding of personalities can leave individuals feeling unsure of their own identity as they adjust to life without their partner. 

Rediscovering personal interests, hobbies, and passions can be exciting and open new opportunities for growth, self-reliance, confidence, and development. On a deeper level, now may be a good time to reflect on what is truly important to you, including your core values, goals, and aspirations. In many cases, a breakup can be an opportunity to kick-start a new phase of personal development.

Embracing emotional growth as a single person

Many people find they must develop a new level of emotional intelligence and resilience to cope with post-breakup pain. Not only can these types of skills be important to have in future relationships, but they’re often essential for coping with challenges in all aspects of life. For example, you might think about what worked and didn't work in your previous relationship, identifying patterns in your behavior and how they might have contributed to the dynamic so you may avoid the same pitfalls in other relationships. 

Strategies for enhancing your well-being post-breakup

The often-overwhelming circumstances of a breakup can make it difficult to know where to start rebuilding. Some people experience periods of demotivation, where the idea of getting out and trying new things or working on healing seems exhausting and falls flat. It can be essential to have patience and self-compassion during this period—to give yourself time to grieve without pressure. 

To process challenging emotions, you might consider journaling about your thoughts and feelings. Allow the emotions to surface without self-judgment, and give yourself the same grace you would give a good friend in the same situation. 

Mental health and self-care after a partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend leaves

To move forward in a healthy way after a partner, boyfriend, or girlfriend leaves, it can be important to take good care of yourself mentally and physically. For example, you might prioritize activities you genuinely enjoy and that nourish your well-being. Whether it's trying a new hobby, spending time in nature, or even just getting a new haircut, doing things that make you feel good about yourself can be a powerful form of self-care. 

It can also be advisable to practice positive daily habits like exercising regularly, eating nutrient-rich foods whenever possible, and getting quality sleep. To manage the stress you may feel, it may be helpful to try mindfulness techniques like meditation, grounding, and breathing exercises. 

Strengthening your support network

Now might be an opportune time to connect or reconnect with friends, family, and community, who may be able to offer a listening ear, advice, a brilliant take on your past relationship, or a welcome distraction. Consider participating in new social activities or spending time with friend groups you might not have before. While such activities may help you find new connections and interests you didn’t know you had, it can also be a way to rebuild self-esteem and re-establish your authentic sense of self. With time, you may also feel comfortable with the idea of exploring dating or pursuing a new romantic relationship, if desired, and decide to try participating in local singles' groups or online dating.

Cultivating a positive mindset  

Finding positivity can be challenging after a breakup. However, with time and reflection, you may come to view being single as an opportunity rather than a setback. To help yourself cultivate this mindset, you might practice gratitude and small gestures of kindness throughout your day. 

Many people find that spending time in nature or keeping a gratitude journal can help too. You might also consider establishing a daily affirmation to encourage positivity—such as “Good things are coming to me” or “I’m grateful for the life that I have.” Some people keep an affirmation in their phone or post it around the house as a reminder to stay positive and celebrate the good things in life, no matter how small.

Recognizing when you may need mental health support

Everyone's breakup response is different. Some people seem to "bounce back" quickly, while others may take months or even years to recover fully. So what should you do if you’re having trouble moving on from the post-breakup rut? You might have persistent or overwhelming sadness that you can’t seem to shake, or you might feel overwhelmed at the idea of getting out of bed. If such feelings are interfering with your functioning in areas like personal hygiene, work, or school, it might be time to seek professional help. The same can be true if you’re experiencing significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns, obsessively replaying memories of the relationship, or you’re having thoughts of self-harm or suicide. 

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Text or call 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Support is available 24/7.

Although therapy can offer a structured, supportive environment to process difficult emotions and learn coping skills, some people don’t take advantage of its potential benefits. There are many reasons why this could be. Some individuals don’t feel comfortable talking to others face-to-face about such deeply personal feelings, while others might be concerned about affordability or have trouble making time for appointments. Virtual therapy can reduce such barriers in many cases. 

Being newly single can come with complex emotions

Get support in online therapy

Exploring online therapy

With online therapy, a person can attend remote sessions with a licensed therapist from the comfort of home on a schedule that fits their needs. Platforms like BetterHelp also allow users to contact their therapist in between sessions if they need to, and the therapist will respond as soon as they’re able. Plus, online therapy can often be more affordable than in-person treatment without insurance.

Additionally, research suggests that online therapy can often be effective for improving self-awareness and treating a wide range of mental health challenges—including those associated with a breakup. For example, one study suggests that internet-delivered cognitive behavioral therapy (iCBT) may help reduce emotional distress and improve self-esteem in those struggling with newfound singleness.