Yes, Sex After Menopause Is Possible
You may hear several misconceptions about menopause and sex, affecting many people. You might have heard that it's not possible to have sex or that sex will be painful. Additionally, not everyone will go through menopause, for various reasons. However, every person is different, and every experience can also be.
While one individual may have difficulty with sex after menopause, another may notice little to no difference in their sexual desire. Additionally, there are tactics you can use to make sex more enjoyable if you're having struggles, such as using vaginal moisturizers. Preparing yourself for menopause can help ensure you maintain a stable, healthy sex life and intimacy with your partner through this period.
Is sex after menopause possible?
Menopause often happens past age 45, though younger people can go through it prematurely. If you're at an age where you're more likely to enter menopause, you may be feeling apprehensive about whether you'll still be able to enjoy sex when it hits.
You may have concerns about satisfying your partner, the desire to have sex, or physical symptoms associated with menopause. However, sex is still possible for many people during menopause and can remain pleasurable and enjoyable for many couples.
Symptoms of menopause
The menopause symptoms you experience may differ from those of someone else. Some of the more common signs of menopause to look out for include the following:
- Vaginal dryness or pain
- Irritability and depression
- Decreased interest in sex (libido)
- Difficulty becoming or remaining aroused
- Difficulty achieving orgasm or having more intense orgasms
- Increased incontinence and urinary tract infections
- Hot flashes
- Weight changes
- Sleep difficulties
- Irregular menstrual periods with fluctuations in blood flow
Getting the most out of sex during menopause
If you haven't yet been through menopause, these tips may help you feel prepared in advance. If you are already going through menopause and struggling, these tips may help you develop an actionable plan for your symptoms.
Tip #1: Use lubrication during sex to prevent vaginal dryness
Lubrication can solve the problem of vaginal dryness for many and help keep your vagina healthy. However, even if you do not have dryness, lubrication may improve your sex life. Lubrication can make sex pleasurable, increase moisture, and reduce friction from rubbing or frequent motion.
Certain positions or types of sex, like anal, may also require lubrication. If you experience dryness due to menopause, you might incorporate lube into your sexual intercourse by trying a lubricant massage first. A massage might help you feel connected and get into the mood if you're struggling with libido.
Tip #2: Experiment with sex toys
If sex has become dull, consider trying new activities in the bedroom to improve your relationship. Going to a sex shop and checking out the toys and items available could help you get inspired. If you already use sex toys, try something new.
Menopause might also make orgasms less frequent or less intense. A toy may be able to stimulate you in ways that help you reach climax as you used to, targeting areas like the clitoris. You might also try new positions or other ways of having sex, such as oral, fingering, or sensual massages.
Tip #3: Try Kegels to reduce pain during sex
Kegel exercises may strengthen the muscles of your pelvic floor, including the vaginal walls. Your pelvic floor muscles include the muscles near your reproductive and urinary systems. Those who try Kegels may experience less urinary incontinence and reduce the chances of experiencing pain during sex. You can do Kegel exercises anywhere, at any time. To do so, try the following:
- With an empty bladder, sit or lay down in a comfortable position.
- Tighten the muscles in your pelvic floor (around your uterus, vagina, or bladder).
- Hold the position for five seconds.
- Relax your muscles and then repeat as many times as needed.
Tip #4: Work on reducing stress around sex
Stress may cause difficulties sexually. If you worry about how often you're having sex or wonder if you'll ever be able to experience sex again, these stressors could be causing sexual issues as well.
If you're already experiencing dryness, worrying about it may cause your libido to drop because you're too stressed to think about having sex, let alone enjoying it. Many individuals get "in their heads" about sex for a variety of reasons, and it can be normal. Try to work on your confidence and tranquility by practicing feeling sexual on your own time by masturbating or reading an erotic fantasy.
If you continue to struggle with sex, you might consider seeking the support of a sex therapist who can offer techniques for "getting in the mood."
Tip #5: Consult with a sex therapist or doctor for estrogen concerns
If you find that everything you've tried hasn't helped and you're still experiencing sexual problems, you may consider speaking with a sex therapist. A sex therapist can help you uncover mental barriers to sex or help you learn to handle your menopause symptoms healthily. They might also offer tips on new positions, toys, or ideas to try in the bedroom.
If you're struggling medically, seeing a doctor might benefit you. Treatments like hormone therapy could help you increase the hormones responsible for libido and vaginal lubrication. Additionally, your doctor may recommend a medication for increasing libido.
Tip #6: Ease into sex slowly for better outcomes after sex
You may feel put off by sex after a negative experience during menopause or may feel embarrassed by specific symptoms. However, if you're worried, consider trying to ease into sex slowly. If you're uncomfortable having sex, know that you do not have to. Consent is essential, and menopause may be a period of your life where sex isn't as much of a priority, which can be normal.
Tip #7: Talk to your doctor about dryness during and after sex
If dryness is the issue and lubrication isn't working, talk to your doctor, especially if you're experiencing night sweats or other symptoms related to menopause. A medical provider may help with the physical symptoms you're experiencing and offer treatment options to ease your discomfort. They may recommend medicated or hormone-infused creams that can improve lubrication, possibly containing estrogen, and reduce pain during your sexually active life.
Counseling during menopause for women’s health
If you feel like you've tried everything and still have difficulties with sex during or after menopause, consider reaching out to a therapist. Talking about sex with friends or family can feel embarrassing or awkward, especially if it involves discussing your body image or concerns about becoming pregnant. Online therapy may benefit you if you're nervous about talking to a therapist in person about a sensitive issue.
Effectiveness of online therapy for sex after menopause
Online therapy has been proven to be just as, if not more effective, than traditional face-to-face therapy. A recent study found online therapy benefited individuals experiencing menopause after breast cancer surgery. The participants had a significant decrease in menopause symptoms and felt more comfortable speaking to a remote professional.
Benefits of online therapy for women’s health
If you don't want to talk about the issues through video chat, you can try phone calling or live chat messages as a more discreet option. Through platforms such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you can reach out for support from various mental health professionals trained in multiple mental health and wellness areas.
Takeaway
Does a woman still enjoy sex after menopause?
Yes, many postmenopausal women continue to enjoy sex. However, changes such as vaginal dryness and altered vaginal tissue can impact sexual enjoyment. Treatments are available to manage these symptoms and help women feel good during intimacy.
What happens during sex after menopause?
Sexual arousal and lubrication may decline due to changes in hormones and vaginal tissue. According to the North American Menopause Society, some women may also experience discomfort or pain, which can lead to avoidance of sexual activity.
How can I have good sex after menopause?
There are many ways you can work to improve sex after menopause. Depending on your experience, you may consider making changes in the following areas:
- Communication: Discuss your needs and concerns openly with your partner to maintain a healthy sex drive.
- Lubrication: Use lubricants specifically designed to treat vaginal dryness.
- Consult a Doctor: Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) or other drugs may be recommended in some cases.
- Testosterone: In some cases, testosterone therapy might be suggested to enhance sexual drive.
- Oral Sex and Foreplay: These can increase arousal and make intercourse more comfortable.
Is it safe to have unprotected sex after menopause?
While the chances of pregnancy are virtually non-existent for postmenopausal women, unprotected sex, including oral sex, can still lead to sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Do men enjoy sex after menopause?
Yes, most men continue to enjoy sex after their partner’s menopause. However, changes in the sex drive and sexual arousal of their partner can lead to adjustments in sexual dynamics.
Why is there pain during sex after menopause?
Physiological changes like a decrease in vaginal tissue elasticity and dryness can make sex more challenging. These changes often lead to discomfort, impacting the sex drive of postmenopausal women.
Why am I hornier after menopause?
Some women experience an increase in their sex drive after menopause, possibly due to relief from the fear of pregnancy or changes in hormone levels that affect libido differently.
At what age do men stop losing interest in sex?
There is a range, but some men experience a decrease in sex drive with age due to factors such as declining testosterone levels, health issues, or the side effects of drugs.
Can you get pregnant after menopause?
The chances of natural pregnancy after menopause are extremely low, but STI risks still exist, especially when having unprotected or oral sex.
How can I prevent vaginal dryness and have painless sex after menopause?
You may be able to make sex more comfortable by taking the following steps. If you are unsure what might be right for you, consult your doctor or mental health professional for tailored advice.
- Use lubricants: Lubricants are specifically designed to treat vaginal dryness.
- Have a Medical Consultation: In some cases, drugs like topical estrogen creams may be recommended.
- Try New Sexual Positions: Experiment to find what feels good and minimizes discomfort.
- Incorporate Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness and other relaxation techniques can help you feel more comfortable and lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences.
What happens to a woman's body during and after sex when estrogen is low?
Before menopause, individuals may experience irregular periods, hot flashes, and vaginal dryness. Low estrogen can also cause absent or irregular periods and bone fractures due to osteoporosis.
What does estrogen do in menopause?
Systemic estrogen therapy is widely recognized as the most successful method for alleviating bothersome menopausal hot flashes and night sweats. In addition to addressing these symptoms, estrogen can also provide relief for other common menopausal symptoms, including vaginal dryness, itching, burning, and discomfort during intercourse.
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