Detoxifying Masculinity: Exploring Gender, Culture, And Attitudes Towards Masculinity

Gender roles shaping masculinity and “maleness” have historically been associated with societal expectations about how boys and men should behave. Notions of gender roles and expression are often deeply rooted in human behavior due to cultural paradigms. Some gender norms pushed by models of toxic masculinity can be harmful to mental health, relationships, and society as a whole. This article discusses what toxic masculinity is, what it isn’t, and how it can affect mental health. It also explores ways to support boys and men in cultivating a healthy sense of self and establishing harmonious relationships. 

Toxic masculinity can be damaging to mental health

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What is toxic masculinity? 

Toxic masculinity generally refers to the aspects of traditional masculinity that are self- and socially destructive. These harmful aspects of masculinity may include attitudes of misogyny, homophobia, and aggression. Toxic notions of masculinity often dictate that men and boys must suppress their emotions (except for anger in many cases), strive for dominance, devalue anything seen as “feminine,” and embrace entitlement and superiority. Gender norms for men and boys may also involve unrealistic expectations around self-sufficiency, competitiveness, and achievement, setting a standard that can create significant stress and pressure and compromise mental health and well-being.

What toxic masculinity is not 

Some people argue that toxic masculinity doesn’t exist or is an attack on all masculinity. The term “toxic masculinity” is not about criticizing all things masculine, but about recognizing harmful notions of masculinity. For example, one may use the word “toxic” to describe things like chemicals and air quality—but that doesn’t imply that all chemicals or air are toxic. Some also believe the notion of toxic masculinity is used as a form of control or indoctrination to fit an “agenda,” when its primary focus is to address the mental health and relationships of men and boys negatively affected by societal pressures.

Effects of toxic masculinity

Men and boys often experience "maleness" differently, depending on factors like age, socioeconomic status, and familial expectations. For example, a young man starting out in the workforce might develop anxiety over the pressure to compete with others for rank and leadership. On the other hand, a man at the end of his career may struggle with reframing his role as a provider, potentially resulting in depression and existential displacement. The influence of toxic masculinity can complicate the everyday challenges faced by men, impacting their mental health and relationships, as well as having far-reaching social consequences. 

Mental health consequences

For decades, scientists have studied the effects of toxic masculinity on men’s mental health, making several connections that now influence how professionals address and treat men. For example, men have higher rates of completed suicide than women. The pressure to be "tough" and "successful" can lead to a sense of inadequacy and low self-esteem, and toxic masculine stereotypes often discourage men from expressing such feelings. Many men refrain from seeking mental health support due to a fear of stigma. As a result, some men turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, like substance misuse and risky behaviors, to manage the pressures and emotional suppression associated with toxic masculinity. 

Effect on relationships

An emphasis on dominance and emotional suppression can create barriers to healthy communication and harmful attitudes toward others who don't behave the same way. This can lead to relationship conflicts and mistreatment. Characteristically, toxic masculinity discourages open and honest communication, making it difficult for men to express their needs and feelings. Men may struggle to connect with others emotionally, potentially leading to loneliness and isolation. Additionally, the emphasis on dominance can create power imbalances in relationships, possibly leading to conflict and resentment. Toxic masculinity can also contribute to unequal power dynamics and control issues that damage relationships. 

Societal impacts

Studies in social science show that toxic masculinity can have a harmful impact on society in several ways, including the normalization of violence and aggression. The emphasis on dominance and control can contribute to a culture where sexual assault and harassment are normalized. Toxic masculinity can reinforce harmful stereotypes and biases, leading to discrimination against women, LGBTQIA+ individuals, and other marginalized groups. 

The role of socialization and attitudes toward gender

Influences on gender identity and expression typically begin early. However, for men and boys, the years between ages 10 and 14 seem to be critical for shaping gender-related attitudes. Scientists posit that this is partially due to changes experienced during the onset of puberty. 

During this time, adolescents and young men may be more likely to endorse traits of toxic masculinity, such as physical toughness, emotional repression, and heterosexual prowess. Several sources, sometimes referred to as agencies of socialization, can potentially contribute to reinforcing harmful gender norms in young people. These agencies of socialization might include the following:

• Family: Parents, siblings, and family dynamics usually play a significant role in shaping a child's early understanding of gender. For example, parents may encourage certain toys or activities for boys versus girls, influencing their development. 
• Schools: Educational institutions can reinforce gender stereotypes through teacher biases, curriculum content, and social dynamics within the classroom. 
• Peer groups: Interactions with friends and peers frequently contribute to internalized gender norms and expectations, especially during adolescence. 
• Media: TV, movies, and advertising can depict gender roles in ways that either reinforce or challenge stereotypes, influencing children's and adults' beliefs about gender. 

Culture, identity, and toxic masculinity

Culture includes shared beliefs, values, norms, and practices passed down through generations. It can shape our understanding of what it means to be male or female, and these definitions often become deeply ingrained in social systems, like family, education, media, religion, and politics. These roles can be reinforced both subtly and overtly—through praise or criticism, representation in media, religious teachings, or laws. Patriarchal systems typically privilege male dominance and control, which can reinforce toxic masculinity as a standard. When men's traditional roles are threatened, some respond by doubling down on harmful behaviors to "reclaim" their power.

Early intervention, community, and education for detoxifying masculinity 

Early childhood intervention can be an effective tool for discouraging toxic masculinity in boys and teaching more positive, healthy gender expression. Early education institutions can begin by addressing gender stereotypes and promoting emotional literacy and awareness. Districts may launch programs that address important topics, like gender-based violence, bullying, and other issues related to toxic masculinity. Community and extracurricular organizations can help by providing support and resources for boys experiencing challenges related to toxic masculinity. Communities can also establish safe spaces where boys and men feel comfortable expressing themselves and seeking help without fear of judgment.

The influence of fatherhood and mentorship on attitudes toward masculinity

Fatherhood and mentorship can significantly shape attitudes toward masculinity for boys and men. Fathers who embrace emotional expressiveness and nurturing tend to have closer relationships with their children, while those adhering to traditional norms may be less involved and nurturing. Like father figures, mentors can also shape a young man's understanding of masculinity. They can provide opportunities for young men to explore, discuss, and challenge traditional gender roles, promoting more positive and inclusive understandings of manhood. 

Media and representation of gender

Studies consistently show that popular media, in all its forms, has an expansive influence on how we think about and express gender and, in turn, perpetuate toxic masculinity. Media often portrays men in stereotypical ways, such as being dominant, stoic, and unwilling to express emotions. Additionally, male characters are often shown engaging in risky behaviors and violence and are less likely to have onscreen parents. It can also be important to note that many creators in the media, visual arts, and literature portray women from a masculine point of view that often objectifies them and reinforces harmful gender norms.  

Detoxifying masculinity in popular culture: The role of influencers and public figures

Some influencers actively promote toxic masculinity, while others actively work to deconstruct it. For example, some social media celebrities in the “manosphere” glorify dominance, emotional repression, and misogyny—presenting themselves as “alphas” who have achieved financial success and attract women through dominance. Other influencers strive to promote more inclusive and nuanced understandings of masculinity, challenging traditional gender roles by demonstrating kindness, empathy, and emotional intelligence and prioritizing relationships over materialism. 

The influence of both positive and negative role models can shape how boys and men think about masculinity, relationships, and themselves. Critical engagement with media representations of “maleness” in which they question the messages they receive can help young men understand that masculinity exists on a spectrum and often differs from person to person.

Redefining strength and emotional expression for mental health

While many of the qualities commonly associated with men are positive (bravery, self-reliance, and confidence, for example), men's and boys' mental health can suffer when such qualities come with unrealistic expectations. For instance, while self-reliance can be beneficial, it may also lead to isolation when men need help but are afraid to reach out for it for fear of appearing "weak." 

One might convey an air of confidence on the surface while struggling with serious self-esteem challenges like impostor syndrome underneath. Raising awareness about the potential mental and physical health impacts of repressing emotions could be a key step in revising societal expectations of male stoicism, helping men and boys learn to identify and process their emotions healthily. 

Supporting men and boys’ mental health  

After 40 years of research, the American Psychological Association (APA) established guidelines in 2018 for recognizing and supporting issues affecting boys and men associated with traditional constructs of masculinity. Their research showed that many aspects of conventional masculinity were psychologically detrimental, and socializing boys to suppress their emotions frequently led to unhealthy physical and psychological outcomes. According to these guidelines, therapists are trained to practice with sensitivity toward gender role strain, defined as "a psychological situation in which gender role demands have negative consequences in the individual or others.” 

The APA guidelines indicate that boys and men may experience gender role strain when they:

• Deviate from or violate gender role norms of masculinity
• Try to meet or fail to meet norms of masculinity
• Experience discrepancies between real and ideal self-concepts based on gender role stereotypes
• Personally devalue, restrict, or violate themselves
• Experience personal devaluations, restrictions, or violations from others
• Personally devalue, restrict, or violate others because of gender role stereotypes

Toxic masculinity can be damaging to mental health

Find mental wellness in online therapy

Despite the potentially fatal consequences, mental health stigma is still common among boys and men. However, with the rise in popularity of internet-delivered treatment, men have an outlet through which they can overcome such barriers. In online therapy, men can talk to a therapist from the comfort of their homes, which might offer a sense of discretion that some may not experience when meeting with a therapist in an office setting. The accessibility and convenience of virtual therapy offered on platforms like BetterHelp may also encourage help-seeking behavior by making it easier for men to find a gender-sensitive therapist. 

Research supports the efficacy of online therapy in reducing mental health stigma and increasing treatment adherence. A 2021 analysis revealed that some individuals participating in online treatment experienced greater satisfaction with the therapeutic relationship, potentially due to the “online disinhibition effect,” a theory positing that individuals may feel more comfortable sharing their emotions in a virtual space. A better connection with one’s therapist often leads to better treatment adherence.