Exploring The Concept Of The “Alpha Male” And Its Impact On Men’s Health

The concept of an “alpha male” is often used in media but rarely with any consensus on the term's meaning. In many spaces, an alpha male denotes a powerful, dominant man who enjoys hierarchical advantage and is surrounded by an adoring public. This view is the evolution of past generations' “strong, silent man.” Others argue that an alpha male is more of a benign figure, one of strength but with a strong emotional intelligence, like a dad who wants to help change your car tire. Where did the alpha male concept begin, and what is the true vision? How does this archetype affect men’s mental health? Explore the answers below. 

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The history of the alpha male

The alpha male theory evolved from long-standing observations of dominance hierarchy in the animal kingdom. It was partly introduced to the mainstream by the publication of “Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes” by Dutch primatologist, Frans De Waals, in 1982. It was further popularized by pop culture articles and Neil Strauss's dating manual The Game. 

The attributes of the alpha male

The term alpha male in popular culture typically refers to a man who is:

• Confident
• Dominant
• Assertive
• Leaderlike 
• Successful in business 
• Athletic
• Powerful
• Competitive 

Internet culture has popularized a specific type of masculine ideal that aligns closely with historical ideas of the popular male hero of the past, “the strong, silent type”—the cowboy, the individualist of American culture. Very often, this ideal is at the expense of the Beta male, who is derided as a poor substitute in many male-dominated circles. 

The reality about alpha males in the animal kingdom 

Research has found that wolves are actually family-oriented, with parents dominating the hierarchy. Male wolves don’t fight for place; they simply breed and share responsibilities with their mates as leaders of the younger pack members. When the young pack members grow up, they leave the group to start their own families. 

How the alpha male stereotype can impact men’s mental health and emotional intelligence 

The alpha male archetype can be damaging to the male psyche, whether they are someone who could be considered an alpha male or the less-dominant beta male. Glorifying aggressive behaviors can lead to the promotion of misogyny in many circles, as men try to emulate what they believe to be the correct amount of aggression and to avoid perceived “weakness,” which may be interpreted as kindness or empathy toward others. 

Living up to the myth of the alpha male

Living up to the standard of the alpha male myth can be stressful, regardless of the person trying to do it. This stress can create self-esteem issues and may lead to social isolation. Because society spreads the message that “real men” don’t need help or to “talk out their feelings,” toxic interpretations of the alpha male concept are often spread throughout social groups. 

Supportive and emotional relationships can be an essential protective factor for mental health in men. Compartmentalizing how you can interact with other men (for example, avoiding talk about feelings or meeting only under the guise of masculine activities like sports) can prevent men from healthy socialization and place a greater emotional burden on women. 

The downplay of emotional intelligence in masculinity 

In alpha male culture, the kind promoted on popular podcasts and specific social media channels, men who show empathy and kindness can be considered weak or unmasculine. Some of these channels are openly misogynistic and teach extremely toxic ideas to young men and boys. 

Positive aspects of the alpha male concept

Despite the toxicity of the “alpha male culture” and some of the proponents of the concept, there can be some positive interpretations of alpha male traits. For example, being a confident and natural leader isn’t necessarily harmful if it is tempered with empathy and isn’t sought out to stoke the ego or gain control of others. Some other positive attributes that can be considered alpha without being toxic include:

• Being physically active
• Being an effective communicator
• Understanding one’s own strengths and weaknesses
• Demonstrating emotional intelligence
• Facing challenges 
• Speaking openly and honestly
• Setting firm boundaries
• Taking care of their loved ones
• Protecting others 

The above attributes can be learned, implemented, and practiced by anyone of any gender. It doesn’t take a specific type of man to do any of these things; none are necessarily inherent traits. 

Modern views on masculinity and the “true alpha male”

While many of the characteristics of an alpha male are not inherently bad, categorizing humans with absolutes can be harmful. Individuals have diverse personalities, and flexibility can be an important attribute. Social psychologists believe that confidence, alongside emotional and social intelligence, can be a healthy interpretation of alpha male masculinity. 

Widely valued attributes in masculinity 

Research shows that when looking for mates, women value traits like honesty, humor, dependability, and kindness. Men typically rank good looks more highly as a desirable characteristic than women, but they also highly value intelligence, humor, honesty, and kindness. While having alpha male characteristics doesn’t preclude having these other attributes, neither is it necessary for a man to be an “alpha” to be intelligent, funny, and kind. 

Therapy as a tool to heal from the concept of alpha males

Some men may struggle with self-esteem issues around their perceived “value” as a man. This struggle can include the shyer, reserved “beta male” type and alpha males as they try to manage expectations of being a leader or role model. Struggling to fit into these ideals can lead to issues like anxiety and depression. Many men also experience social isolation as they try to manage feelings independently and are uncomfortable expressing their feelings to friends or family members. 

Is therapy helpful for learning emotional intelligence and working through stereotypes placed on men to be alpha males? 

Therapy can be a helpful way for men to unlearn some of the societal restrictions placed on them. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based approach designed to challenge patterns of thoughts and behaviors and shift them into more positive directions. This modality has proven to be effective at treating symptoms of anxiety, depression, and a wide range of other mental health conditions. 

For some men, walking into a therapist’s office and talking about their feelings face-to-face after years of conditioning themselves to mask their emotions can be difficult. Online therapy can be an effective and convenient solution. Research shows that online therapy is as effective as in-person sessions, and with online platforms like BetterHelp, you can meet with a therapist over video conferencing, phone, or text messaging from the comfort of your own home. First, fill out an online questionnaire to get matched with a therapist who meets your needs. 

Embrace the complexity of personality in therapy

Talk to a licensed therapist