Understanding The Reality Of Male Sexual Abuse

Sexual assault can happen to anyone of any age, sexual orientation, or gender identity, including both men and women. Accordingly, people who have been sexually assaulted or abused often experience similar reactions and mental health challenges as other survivors of the same crime. Men can experience adverse impacts of sexual assault regardless of their sexual orientation, assigned gender at birth, or age.

However, many male survivors of sexual assault (previously referred to as male victims of sexual assault) may face additional obstacles due to stereotypes and social perspectives of men and perceptions of masculinity. The terms "male victims" and "victims" for sexual assault survivors are avoided to help promote empowerment and emphasize their strength and resilience.

These perceptions may explain why sexual abuse and violence toward men remain among the most neglected and undiscussed problems, often ignored by some parts of society and the academic community. 

What Is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, often occurring due to physical force, coercion, or threats. The survivor of the abuse cannot or does not give consent, which they may also rescind after offering earlier in an interaction. Sexual abuse can occur between couples, spouses, family, friends, or strangers. It can have immediate and long-term effects that may harm a survivor’s physical and mental well-being, and anyone can experience sexual abuse. 

Signs Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Signs and symptoms of child sexual abuse fall into three categories: physical, behavioral, and emotional. Below are a few signs you might notice: 

• Physical: Physical signs of abuse in children can take the form of bruises, bleeding, or sexually transmitted infections.

• Behavioral: Children can experience behavioral symptoms of abuse, such as engaging in sexual behavior that isn’t appropriate for their age, bedwetting, shyness around removing clothes, and avoidance of certain people or adults. 

• Emotional: Children who have experienced sexual abuse may discuss sexually explicit topics, regress to early childhood behaviors like thumb sucking, experience vivid nightmares, and show signs of anxiety.

Signs Of Male Sexual Assault Or Abuse In Adults

College-age and older adults can experience sexual abuse and violence. The perpetrators can be trusted adults, peers, or strangers. Young adult men may find it difficult to reveal their abuse, so it can be crucial to look for the warning signs early on, which might include the following: 

• Rapid weight loss or weight gain

• Unexplained or poorly explained bruises or scars

• Excessive substance use (formerly referred to as substance abuse)

• Withdrawal from relationships and social situations 

• Emotional challenges like depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts

• Changes in hygiene and self-care habits 

• A decline in school or work performance

• Panic attacks

• Self-harm

What Is Sexual Violence?

Sexual violence is a term that encompasses crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. Terms vary from state to state, but the following are often included in the definition: 

• Sexual assault

• Childhood sexual abuse

• Sexual assault of men and boys

• Incest

• Drug-facilitated sexual assault

Sexual violence can take on other forms that might be overlooked. It can be crucial to be aware of the warning signs, stay knowledgeable, and be open about your experience. Some other forms of sexual violence include the following. 

Stalking

Stalking is a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear, according to the United States Department of Justice.

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment can include unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other forms of verbal or physical sexual harassment in the work environment or learning space.

Sexual Exploitation

Sexual exploitation can include unwanted sexual conduct of any kind between a professional and the individual seeking their services. These professionals can consist of and aren’t limited to police officers, doctors, lawyers, religious leaders, and professors.

How Do Men Face Sexual Abuse And Violence?

Anyone can experience sexual abuse or violence. However, men and boys often face unique problems and challenges due to social attitudes and stereotypes regarding masculinity. It is a common stereotype that men cannot be survivors of sexual abuse or violence. While sexual violence may not be discussed openly, it is less often talked about or reported by men and boys. This lack of reporting may stem from the belief that men “should be able to” fight off an attacker or that they cannot be sexually assaulted. This stigma can lead male survivors to believe their experience wasn’t real or prevent them from seeking support.

Men and boys who have survived sexual assault can experience the same effects as other sexual trauma and abuse survivors. Men who have experienced sexual assault as adults may experience a sense of shame or self-doubt. They may also have a more challenging time understanding their situation if they got an erection or ejaculated during the encounter. However, ejaculation and erections do not suggest you wanted, invited, or enjoyed the assault. 

The following list is not all-encompassing but includes some of the experiences of survivors of male sexual assault:

• Believing you are “less of a man” or believing you lost control of your body

• Difficulty sleeping

• Being on edge or struggling to relax 

• Experiencing difficulties with your sexual orientation

• Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

• Anxiety and depression

• Eating disorders

• Flashbacks or distressing memories 

• Withdrawal from relationships

• Social isolation 

• Self-judgment or disbelief 

If you experience sexual assault or violence, it is never your fault. You are not alone in your experience or “less of a man” because of it. 

Many first-time survivors experience intimate partner violence before age 25, often before age 18. It can also be essential to note that even though sexual violence is often portrayed as involving female survivors, there is a high rate of male survivors. Three out of 33 studies show male survivor rates of more than 57%. This statistic shows that contrary to popular belief, men and boys are as likely to experience sexual violence as other genders. There may be gender differences in the way that people respond to sexual assaults, but not in the prevalence of sexual assault. 

How Gender Stereotypes Affect Male Survivors

Through gender stereotypes and gender role socialization, men are often put into the sexually dominant role. This gender role socialization implies that men are sexual opportunists and should “make the first move.” There may also be a societal belief that men are more willing to engage in sexual activity.

This stereotype can cause men to feel guilty for refusing sexual advances. The “sexual opportunist” frame can imply that men cannot experience the negative consequences of sexual violence, which is untrue. Male survivors may also report fewer negative feelings to maintain this social script and self-image. Evidence suggests that sexual violence can be highly traumatizing for men, given sex-role stereotypes. Men often believe they are “unmasculine” afterward and may experience a fundamental identity crisis. They may fear being labeled “male sexual assault victims” and therefore remain silent after an assault occurred. Also, some people may believe that sexual violence happens only to gay men. However, perpetrators can sexually assault male children and adults of any sexual orientation. 

What Is The Meaning Of Male Violence?

Male violence relates to violent acts disproportionately or exclusively committed against men and boys. These violent acts may not necessarily be sexual. 

Although society maintains that women may be at a higher risk of violent crimes, this stereotype is not necessarily true. For example, in a study published by Statistics Netherlands, 2.5% of men 15 or older reported experiencing a violent crime versus 1.7% of women. Another study showed that out of over 215,000 homicides, 77% of those killed were men. 

Support Options 

Sexual and violent abuse can be essential to be addressed, especially when considering the high number of men and boys who do not reach out for support due to social stigma and stereotypes placed on them since birth. If you have experienced abuse or are living with any form of abuse, reaching out to a professional can be crucial. You’re not alone. 

Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp could be a safe and convenient option if you prefer to talk about your experiences from the comfort of your own space. Some people living with or who have survived abuse have anxiety about reaching out for help. You may feel safer and more comfortable with the barrier of the virtual therapy environment, allowing you to trust your therapist. In addition, you can choose a male therapist if it makes you most comfortable. 

Studies show that men often prefer online therapy over in-person mental health services due to its discreet nature. Although online platforms are for anyone of any gender, men may find the online format safer when facing stigmas or stereotypes in their communities. 

Another study found that online cognitive-behavioral therapy could effectively treat those with a history of domestic violence. Researchers found that participants experienced statistically significant reductions in measures of PTSD, depression, and anxiety. The intervention also had effects on improving participants’ quality of life.